Coming to Terms with Full Pay

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It gets easier when you realize you’re not alone.

In real life, I don’t think I know any dual feds with 2+ kids who have sent them to full-pay privates in the last 10-12 years. Many of the parents went to those schools. But to send their kids there is just irrational.

The kids who are going to those schools from the DMV are richer or poorer, or they have some kind of special circumstances: family money, a parent who works at a university that has some kind of tuition benefit, etc.

The private schools are full of dual fed kids.

Dual fed households ate in the top invome brackets in the country.

Just because they are not as rich as elon or the pelosis does not mean that they are not wealthy.

The private schools where so many kids are on family money that the schools host an annual “grandparents day”? Yeah, they’re not doing it on the parents’ fed salaries.

Maybe not the $55-60k schools, but very definitely the $35-40k ones.

And? No one ever said that the typical dual fed family couldn’t afford college at all, just that they’re opting out of paying full freight for the most expensive ones. Which is the same choice these families you are pointing to have already made for high school.

And compare the college lists out of SJC or Gonzaga to the lists at GDS or Sidwell. Most kids at the more expensive high schools are going ED to full pay private colleges. Most kids at the Catholic high schools are going to state schools.

I'm not sure that's true because you get a ton of kids going to the Catholic colleges...Notre Dame, Villanova, Georgetown, Boston College et al. Now, many of the less selective Catholic colleges like Loyola MD et al provide merit aid.

Also, the athletes out of these schools are usually picking a school based on how strong of a sports team...and they have the added benefit of receiving athletic scholarships.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's kind of maddening when you are full pay at colleges and your kid's roommates get substantial aid and live much nicer lives than your DC kids do.

I have 2 in college and we are full pay all around with a DC income of $400K. My kids' middle America roommates are both (fr and soph) on 50%+ aid but have cars on campus, much fancier clothing, have all sorts of spending money for eating off campus. My kids have never owned a car, eat in the dining hall full time, etc.

There is something to be said for living in a LCOL area and making under $200K. You go to college for free or at half cost but still have the same lifestyle outside of school as those of us making almost twice the income in a HCOL town.

There is no reason your kids can’t have nice things or a car when mommy and daddy make 400k. These are all just choices you’re making.

+1. I cannot imagine thinking that a car for your kid or a food budget outside of the dining hall is prohibitive on $400k.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The political capitalist system is set up to get us peasants fighting with each other so we ignore the insane grift that’s happened around rising tuition and student loan programs.

Just like it wants working class people to hate on immigrants and welfare recipients.

The donut hole families are realizing their full pay tuition bill is subsidizing able-bodied parents who choose to stay at home when their kids are self sufficient teenagers. It’s not really the fault of those SAHMs, but the donut holers need some outlet for their frustration because costs are so out of line with the economy.

We’re told not to complain that we can’t afford to send our kids to places our parents were able to afford, like BC. Meanwhile, there’s a kid whining on Reddit right now that they were matched to Boston College on Questbridge and not Harvard.

The system will make you crazy.

This sounds like a bunch of whiny BS from someone who made a series of choices and thinks life owes them something.

We can’t always get all that we want all the time.

Move to a lower COL area.
Pick a cheaper college.
Save more.
SAH to maximize aid but know you will minimize retirement savings. And vacations. And everything else.

This. Working for all of those years will net you many multiples of what the SAH gets in aid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It gets easier when you realize you’re not alone.

In real life, I don’t think I know any dual feds with 2+ kids who have sent them to full-pay privates in the last 10-12 years. Many of the parents went to those schools. But to send their kids there is just irrational.

The kids who are going to those schools from the DMV are richer or poorer, or they have some kind of special circumstances: family money, a parent who works at a university that has some kind of tuition benefit, etc.

The private schools are full of dual fed kids.

Dual fed households ate in the top invome brackets in the country.

Just because they are not as rich as elon or the pelosis does not mean that they are not wealthy.

The private schools where so many kids are on family money that the schools host an annual “grandparents day”? Yeah, they’re not doing it on the parents’ fed salaries.

Maybe not the $55-60k schools, but very definitely the $35-40k ones.

And? No one ever said that the typical dual fed family couldn’t afford college at all, just that they’re opting out of paying full freight for the most expensive ones. Which is the same choice these families you are pointing to have already made for high school.

And compare the college lists out of SJC or Gonzaga to the lists at GDS or Sidwell. Most kids at the more expensive high schools are going ED to full pay private colleges. Most kids at the Catholic high schools are going to state schools.

I'm not sure that's true because you get a ton of kids going to the Catholic colleges...Notre Dame, Villanova, Georgetown, Boston College et al. Now, many of the less selective Catholic colleges like Loyola MD et al provide merit aid.

Also, the athletes out of these schools are usually picking a school based on how strong of a sports team...and they have the added benefit of receiving athletic scholarships.

The Catholic school college Instagram accounts are school-sponsored and public. You can look at them for yourself. Last year SJC sent more kids to Penn State than to Notre Dame, Villanova, Georgetown, and BC combined. And it’s not all Penn State. Clemson, C of C, Pitt, Maryland, etc, etc. And agreed that lower-ranked Catholic schools tend to offer a lot of merit, which makes them another example of people choosing to pay less for college. As is choosing a school for an athletic scholarship.

The point is, even quite comfortable families who can afford private high school are mostly choosing not to pay for the most expensive high schools or the most expensive colleges.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:^ many agencies here are on the special pay rate table. Dual Fed families can be making $400k.

IT’S NOT THE NORM

[Anonymous]

Our hhi is 270k (was nowhere near that much until a few years ago) and we opted for in-state for both kids. Just because you can pay a lot by spending down savings doesn't mean you should. I feel very strongly about that considering there are always affordable options which also result in a degree and good education.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So I started checking the net price calculators. We are both feds and have been for 20-plus years, with plenty of promotions. Own our little rowhouse. Almost paid off. 20 years of TSP. 2 kids, strictly DCPS. Old car, limited spending, lots of savings. No medical bills.

We’re gonna be at max for ability to pay even though we aren’t living in champagne and caviar. Right?

I just need to count my blessings right? We’ve had stability and ability to pay even if we aren’t living high on the hog. People with more precarious lives deserve the lower price. Right?

I guess merit aid is possible - first kid did great on PSAT. But we’re still likely to just pay full freight even then because if he applies to a reach school EA or ED we’ll say yes, right?

If kid is a national merit finalist you could be looking at reach school ($400k for 4 years) vs lower ranked school like University of Alabama ($0-ish for years). Imo your kid will be better off in the long run if you hand the kid an investment account with $400k in it (and take the full ride scholarship).
It's undergrad it doesn't matter where you go -- don't feel pressured to go "name brand".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It gets easier when you realize you’re not alone.

In real life, I don’t think I know any dual feds with 2+ kids who have sent them to full-pay privates in the last 10-12 years. Many of the parents went to those schools. But to send their kids there is just irrational.

The kids who are going to those schools from the DMV are richer or poorer, or they have some kind of special circumstances: family money, a parent who works at a university that has some kind of tuition benefit, etc.

The private schools are full of dual fed kids.

Dual fed households ate in the top invome brackets in the country.

Just because they are not as rich as elon or the pelosis does not mean that they are not wealthy.

The private schools where so many kids are on family money that the schools host an annual “grandparents day”? Yeah, they’re not doing it on the parents’ fed salaries.

Maybe not the $55-60k schools, but very definitely the $35-40k ones.

And? No one ever said that the typical dual fed family couldn’t afford college at all, just that they’re opting out of paying full freight for the most expensive ones. Which is the same choice these families you are pointing to have already made for high school.

And compare the college lists out of SJC or Gonzaga to the lists at GDS or Sidwell. Most kids at the more expensive high schools are going ED to full pay private colleges. Most kids at the Catholic high schools are going to state schools.

I'm not sure that's true because you get a ton of kids going to the Catholic colleges...Notre Dame, Villanova, Georgetown, Boston College et al. Now, many of the less selective Catholic colleges like Loyola MD et al provide merit aid.

Also, the athletes out of these schools are usually picking a school based on how strong of a sports team...and they have the added benefit of receiving athletic scholarships.

The Catholic school college Instagram accounts are school-sponsored and public. You can look at them for yourself. Last year SJC sent more kids to Penn State than to Notre Dame, Villanova, Georgetown, and BC combined. And it’s not all Penn State. Clemson, C of C, Pitt, Maryland, etc, etc. And agreed that lower-ranked Catholic schools tend to offer a lot of merit, which makes them another example of people choosing to pay less for college. As is choosing a school for an athletic scholarship.

The point is, even quite comfortable families who can afford private high school are mostly choosing not to pay for the most expensive high schools or the most expensive colleges.

Not the independent ones like Visi, Gtown Prep, Gonzaga…

And many are going for athletics and getting huge NIL deals at some of the publics

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It gets easier when you realize you’re not alone.

In real life, I don’t think I know any dual feds with 2+ kids who have sent them to full-pay privates in the last 10-12 years. Many of the parents went to those schools. But to send their kids there is just irrational.

The kids who are going to those schools from the DMV are richer or poorer, or they have some kind of special circumstances: family money, a parent who works at a university that has some kind of tuition benefit, etc.

The private schools are full of dual fed kids.

Dual fed households ate in the top invome brackets in the country.

Just because they are not as rich as elon or the pelosis does not mean that they are not wealthy.

The private schools where so many kids are on family money that the schools host an annual “grandparents day”? Yeah, they’re not doing it on the parents’ fed salaries.

Maybe not the $55-60k schools, but very definitely the $35-40k ones.

And? No one ever said that the typical dual fed family couldn’t afford college at all, just that they’re opting out of paying full freight for the most expensive ones. Which is the same choice these families you are pointing to have already made for high school.

And compare the college lists out of SJC or Gonzaga to the lists at GDS or Sidwell. Most kids at the more expensive high schools are going ED to full pay private colleges. Most kids at the Catholic high schools are going to state schools.

They are 60 vs 220 students. GZ gets a ton of private/Ivy/t10-20 every year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So I started checking the net price calculators. We are both feds and have been for 20-plus years, with plenty of promotions. Own our little rowhouse. Almost paid off. 20 years of TSP. 2 kids, strictly DCPS. Old car, limited spending, lots of savings. No medical bills.

We’re gonna be at max for ability to pay even though we aren’t living in champagne and caviar. Right?

I just need to count my blessings right? We’ve had stability and ability to pay even if we aren’t living high on the hog. People with more precarious lives deserve the lower price. Right?

I guess merit aid is possible - first kid did great on PSAT. But we’re still likely to just pay full freight even then because if he applies to a reach school EA or ED we’ll say yes, right?

If kid is a national merit finalist you could be looking at reach school ($400k for 4 years) vs lower ranked school like University of Alabama ($0-ish for years). Imo your kid will be better off in the long run if you hand the kid an investment account with $400k in it (and take the full ride scholarship).
It's undergrad it doesn't matter where you go -- don't feel pressured to go "name brand".

At a minimum, work out how you feel about cost v status for yourself, and then hash it out with your spouse, and then talk it through with your kid.

NOW.

Before you start touring colleges and making lists and talking about ED in earnest. The worst-case scenario is that you spend $100k-$200k for a prestige factor that none of you actually values, but which you all think is expected of you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It gets easier when you realize you’re not alone.

In real life, I don’t think I know any dual feds with 2+ kids who have sent them to full-pay privates in the last 10-12 years. Many of the parents went to those schools. But to send their kids there is just irrational.

The kids who are going to those schools from the DMV are richer or poorer, or they have some kind of special circumstances: family money, a parent who works at a university that has some kind of tuition benefit, etc.

The private schools are full of dual fed kids.

Dual fed households ate in the top invome brackets in the country.

Just because they are not as rich as elon or the pelosis does not mean that they are not wealthy.

The private schools where so many kids are on family money that the schools host an annual “grandparents day”? Yeah, they’re not doing it on the parents’ fed salaries.

Maybe not the $55-60k schools, but very definitely the $35-40k ones.

And? No one ever said that the typical dual fed family couldn’t afford college at all, just that they’re opting out of paying full freight for the most expensive ones. Which is the same choice these families you are pointing to have already made for high school.

And compare the college lists out of SJC or Gonzaga to the lists at GDS or Sidwell. Most kids at the more expensive high schools are going ED to full pay private colleges. Most kids at the Catholic high schools are going to state schools.

I'm not sure that's true because you get a ton of kids going to the Catholic colleges...Notre Dame, Villanova, Georgetown, Boston College et al. Now, many of the less selective Catholic colleges like Loyola MD et al provide merit aid.

Also, the athletes out of these schools are usually picking a school based on how strong of a sports team...and they have the added benefit of receiving athletic scholarships.

The Catholic school college Instagram accounts are school-sponsored and public. You can look at them for yourself. Last year SJC sent more kids to Penn State than to Notre Dame, Villanova, Georgetown, and BC combined. And it’s not all Penn State. Clemson, C of C, Pitt, Maryland, etc, etc. And agreed that lower-ranked Catholic schools tend to offer a lot of merit, which makes them another example of people choosing to pay less for college. As is choosing a school for an athletic scholarship.

The point is, even quite comfortable families who can afford private high school are mostly choosing not to pay for the most expensive high schools or the most expensive colleges.

I can't speak for all of Penn State, but I do know 2 of the kids from SJC attending and they are on 100% athletic scholarship. I know at least one of these kids spent tens of thousands on training, club teams et al over the years, so it's probably a wash in terms of paying for college or training.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It gets easier when you realize you’re not alone.

In real life, I don’t think I know any dual feds with 2+ kids who have sent them to full-pay privates in the last 10-12 years. Many of the parents went to those schools. But to send their kids there is just irrational.

The kids who are going to those schools from the DMV are richer or poorer, or they have some kind of special circumstances: family money, a parent who works at a university that has some kind of tuition benefit, etc.

The private schools are full of dual fed kids.

Dual fed households ate in the top invome brackets in the country.

Just because they are not as rich as elon or the pelosis does not mean that they are not wealthy.

The private schools where so many kids are on family money that the schools host an annual “grandparents day”? Yeah, they’re not doing it on the parents’ fed salaries.

Maybe not the $55-60k schools, but very definitely the $35-40k ones.

And? No one ever said that the typical dual fed family couldn’t afford college at all, just that they’re opting out of paying full freight for the most expensive ones. Which is the same choice these families you are pointing to have already made for high school.

And compare the college lists out of SJC or Gonzaga to the lists at GDS or Sidwell. Most kids at the more expensive high schools are going ED to full pay private colleges. Most kids at the Catholic high schools are going to state schools.

I'm not sure that's true because you get a ton of kids going to the Catholic colleges...Notre Dame, Villanova, Georgetown, Boston College et al. Now, many of the less selective Catholic colleges like Loyola MD et al provide merit aid.

Also, the athletes out of these schools are usually picking a school based on how strong of a sports team...and they have the added benefit of receiving athletic scholarships.

The Catholic school college Instagram accounts are school-sponsored and public. You can look at them for yourself. Last year SJC sent more kids to Penn State than to Notre Dame, Villanova, Georgetown, and BC combined. And it’s not all Penn State. Clemson, C of C, Pitt, Maryland, etc, etc. And agreed that lower-ranked Catholic schools tend to offer a lot of merit, which makes them another example of people choosing to pay less for college. As is choosing a school for an athletic scholarship.

The point is, even quite comfortable families who can afford private high school are mostly choosing not to pay for the most expensive high schools or the most expensive colleges.

I guarantee you would be lambasting any parent who said they planned to spend $100k+ for training, private coaches, club teams, etc. with the intent of getting an athletic scholarship. That's what many of these families are paying over call it 8-10 years, with many other parents wasting that money because it doesn't result in any D1 offers at all.

[Anonymous]

Why is everyone so fussy about the Catholic schools? Go look at the IG accounts. The athletes are marked; the high schools are proud of their athletic programs and want people to know which kids are recruited athletes. There are many, many kids going to state schools from DC Catholic high schools, and relatively few of them are athletes.

[Anonymous]

OP - I wouldn’t count on your kid being an NMSF semi finalist in DC unless your kid has a score of 226 or higher.

Also, yes, if you want them to go to a particular private that only gives need based aid you will be full pay and NMSF won’t move the needle on that.

There are a lot of good options, including choosing to be full pay if it works for your family.

[Anonymous]

I am surprised that people are just focusing on the income aspect of the way UMC families are impacted. One of the bigger impacts is home equity, some schools, Emory for example, count 100% of your home equity in determining aid. Keep in mind not all schools do that so you should use the calculators for each school to see rather than assume all pricey privates are going to offer (or not) your student a similar amount of aid.