New Money Diary in DC - $248k/year

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So her parents pay her kid’s tuition but they get FA? WTH?

Because they FA is based on their income/assets and not the grandparents. This is common. Middle income parents qualify for the aid, grandparents then pay the bill.

Gaming the system, this seriously rubs me the wrong way. Wow.

Don't private schools get to establish their own FA policies? Why get mad about this?

Because private schools are always pushing for contributions from current parents to fund financial aid. This woman is having her parents pay reimburse her for her kid's tuition, that is income. Is she disclosing that? Is she disclosing ANY of her parents' financial contributions to her school? Because all of those "gifts" are income. I am not ok with the thousands of dollars I give to my kids school annual fund to use to subsidize a family like this, a family that gets money from grandparents to pay for a car, a house, a wedding, their college, and probably many other extras. A family that WFH but dilly dallies all day.

I read the comments of the refinery article and see that the woman is reading them and frequently responds. I suspect she is also on this thread, defensively responding to justify her position. Over and over again. It is obvious.

So here is what she wrote in the money diary article comments in response to someone asking her why she gets financial aid for her kid's private school. Yeah, in her own words:

"When you apply for financial aid, it's similar to applying for a mortgage. You have to disclose all income, savings, and investments. In addition, there is an extensive questionnaire regarding your spending (vacations, country club memberships, car/boat payments, etc.). Everything gets put into a software system, and the computer more or less decides what you can afford. From there, the school makes their admission decisions based on the financial aid available and who needs it.
To the point about someone with a higher salary qualifying for financial aid, I think this gets at the not-so-secret secret of private schools. Yes they want diversity, but they want diversity on their terms. The admissions team really doesn't want an influx of people who are actually poor, so the financial aid goes to people who can't quite be full-pay, but who fit in with the other parents at the school."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So her parents pay her kid’s tuition but they get FA? WTH?

Because they FA is based on their income/assets and not the grandparents. This is common. Middle income parents qualify for the aid, grandparents then pay the bill.

Gaming the system, this seriously rubs me the wrong way. Wow.

Don't private schools get to establish their own FA policies? Why get mad about this?

Because private schools are always pushing for contributions from current parents to fund financial aid. This woman is having her parents pay reimburse her for her kid's tuition, that is income. Is she disclosing that? Is she disclosing ANY of her parents' financial contributions to her school? Because all of those "gifts" are income. I am not ok with the thousands of dollars I give to my kids school annual fund to use to subsidize a family like this, a family that gets money from grandparents to pay for a car, a house, a wedding, their college, and probably many other extras. A family that WFH but dilly dallies all day.

I read the comments of the refinery article and see that the woman is reading them and frequently responds. I suspect she is also on this thread, defensively responding to justify her position. Over and over again. It is obvious.

So here is what she wrote in the money diary article comments in response to someone asking her why she gets financial aid for her kid's private school. Yeah, in her own words:

"When you apply for financial aid, it's similar to applying for a mortgage. You have to disclose all income, savings, and investments. In addition, there is an extensive questionnaire regarding your spending (vacations, country club memberships, car/boat payments, etc.). Everything gets put into a software system, and the computer more or less decides what you can afford. From there, the school makes their admission decisions based on the financial aid available and who needs it.
To the point about someone with a higher salary qualifying for financial aid, I think this gets at the not-so-secret secret of private schools. Yes they want diversity, but they want diversity on their terms. The admissions team really doesn't want an influx of people who are actually poor, so the financial aid goes to people who can't quite be full-pay, but who fit in with the other parents at the school."

Wow, that's a gross quote. So she's doing the school a favor by being broke on paper but not "actually poor"? Now I want to read all of her comments.

[Anonymous]

I can’t remember if it was the old FAFSA or the CSS profile, it asked if anyone else would be contributing to paying my kid’s tuition. My mom gives my kid $10k per year for tuition so I disclosed that. I guess they don’t ask that on private K-12 schools’ FA applications.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So her parents pay her kid’s tuition but they get FA? WTH?

Because they FA is based on their income/assets and not the grandparents. This is common. Middle income parents qualify for the aid, grandparents then pay the bill.

Gaming the system, this seriously rubs me the wrong way. Wow.

Don't private schools get to establish their own FA policies? Why get mad about this?

Because private schools are always pushing for contributions from current parents to fund financial aid. This woman is having her parents pay reimburse her for her kid's tuition, that is income. Is she disclosing that? Is she disclosing ANY of her parents' financial contributions to her school? Because all of those "gifts" are income. I am not ok with the thousands of dollars I give to my kids school annual fund to use to subsidize a family like this, a family that gets money from grandparents to pay for a car, a house, a wedding, their college, and probably many other extras. A family that WFH but dilly dallies all day.

I read the comments of the refinery article and see that the woman is reading them and frequently responds. I suspect she is also on this thread, defensively responding to justify her position. Over and over again. It is obvious.

So here is what she wrote in the money diary article comments in response to someone asking her why she gets financial aid for her kid's private school. Yeah, in her own words:

"When you apply for financial aid, it's similar to applying for a mortgage. You have to disclose all income, savings, and investments. In addition, there is an extensive questionnaire regarding your spending (vacations, country club memberships, car/boat payments, etc.). Everything gets put into a software system, and the computer more or less decides what you can afford. From there, the school makes their admission decisions based on the financial aid available and who needs it.
To the point about someone with a higher salary qualifying for financial aid, I think this gets at the not-so-secret secret of private schools. Yes they want diversity, but they want diversity on their terms. The admissions team really doesn't want an influx of people who are actually poor, so the financial aid goes to people who can't quite be full-pay, but who fit in with the other parents at the school."

Wow, that's a gross quote. So she's doing the school a favor by being broke on paper but not "actually poor"? Now I want to read all of her comments.

She's totally right and that is the dirty secret. Private day schools aren't equipped to handle the social aspects of actually low income people. They've tried and it doesnt work out. To diversify from the wealthy they want educated, involved, middle income families who can take the aid and thrive but don’t need the intense scaffolding. They'd rather throw 10k at 5 or 6 of these families than fully pay one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I can’t remember if it was the old FAFSA or the CSS profile, it asked if anyone else would be contributing to paying my kid’s tuition. My mom gives my kid $10k per year for tuition so I disclosed that. I guess they don’t ask that on private K-12 schools’ FA applications.

Even if they do ask, how is the school going to prove the grandparents are giving the parents money? As long as the grandparents don't pay the school directly, it's easy to hide. Naive not to think this happens.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can’t remember if it was the old FAFSA or the CSS profile, it asked if anyone else would be contributing to paying my kid’s tuition. My mom gives my kid $10k per year for tuition so I disclosed that. I guess they don’t ask that on private K-12 schools’ FA applications.

Even if they do ask, how is the school going to prove the grandparents are giving the parents money? As long as the grandparents don't pay the school directly, it's easy to hide. Naive not to think this happens.

So it’s okay to lie and get money from external sources when there is no need for it? I guess I would expect that from DC though. Liars all around.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So her parents pay her kid’s tuition but they get FA? WTH?

Because they FA is based on their income/assets and not the grandparents. This is common. Middle income parents qualify for the aid, grandparents then pay the bill.

Gaming the system, this seriously rubs me the wrong way. Wow.

Don't private schools get to establish their own FA policies? Why get mad about this?

Because private schools are always pushing for contributions from current parents to fund financial aid. This woman is having her parents pay reimburse her for her kid's tuition, that is income. Is she disclosing that? Is she disclosing ANY of her parents' financial contributions to her school? Because all of those "gifts" are income. I am not ok with the thousands of dollars I give to my kids school annual fund to use to subsidize a family like this, a family that gets money from grandparents to pay for a car, a house, a wedding, their college, and probably many other extras. A family that WFH but dilly dallies all day.

I read the comments of the refinery article and see that the woman is reading them and frequently responds. I suspect she is also on this thread, defensively responding to justify her position. Over and over again. It is obvious.

So here is what she wrote in the money diary article comments in response to someone asking her why she gets financial aid for her kid's private school. Yeah, in her own words:

"When you apply for financial aid, it's similar to applying for a mortgage. You have to disclose all income, savings, and investments. In addition, there is an extensive questionnaire regarding your spending (vacations, country club memberships, car/boat payments, etc.). Everything gets put into a software system, and the computer more or less decides what you can afford. From there, the school makes their admission decisions based on the financial aid available and who needs it.
To the point about someone with a higher salary qualifying for financial aid, I think this gets at the not-so-secret secret of private schools. Yes they want diversity, but they want diversity on their terms. The admissions team really doesn't want an influx of people who are actually poor, so the financial aid goes to people who can't quite be full-pay, but who fit in with the other parents at the school."

Wow, that's a gross quote. So she's doing the school a favor by being broke on paper but not "actually poor"? Now I want to read all of her comments.

She's totally right and that is the dirty secret. Private day schools aren't equipped to handle the social aspects of actually low income people. They've tried and it doesnt work out. To diversify from the wealthy they want educated, involved, middle income families who can take the aid and thrive but don’t need the intense scaffolding. They'd rather throw 10k at 5 or 6 of these families than fully pay one.

Yeah but this lady isn’t even middle income. She’s rich. She seems to have plenty of money to spend as evidenced by one week in her year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So her parents pay her kid’s tuition but they get FA? WTH?

Because they FA is based on their income/assets and not the grandparents. This is common. Middle income parents qualify for the aid, grandparents then pay the bill.

Gaming the system, this seriously rubs me the wrong way. Wow.

Don't private schools get to establish their own FA policies? Why get mad about this?

Because private schools are always pushing for contributions from current parents to fund financial aid. This woman is having her parents pay reimburse her for her kid's tuition, that is income. Is she disclosing that? Is she disclosing ANY of her parents' financial contributions to her school? Because all of those "gifts" are income. I am not ok with the thousands of dollars I give to my kids school annual fund to use to subsidize a family like this, a family that gets money from grandparents to pay for a car, a house, a wedding, their college, and probably many other extras. A family that WFH but dilly dallies all day.

I read the comments of the refinery article and see that the woman is reading them and frequently responds. I suspect she is also on this thread, defensively responding to justify her position. Over and over again. It is obvious.

So here is what she wrote in the money diary article comments in response to someone asking her why she gets financial aid for her kid's private school. Yeah, in her own words:

"When you apply for financial aid, it's similar to applying for a mortgage. You have to disclose all income, savings, and investments. In addition, there is an extensive questionnaire regarding your spending (vacations, country club memberships, car/boat payments, etc.). Everything gets put into a software system, and the computer more or less decides what you can afford. From there, the school makes their admission decisions based on the financial aid available and who needs it.
To the point about someone with a higher salary qualifying for financial aid, I think this gets at the not-so-secret secret of private schools. Yes they want diversity, but they want diversity on their terms. The admissions team really doesn't want an influx of people who are actually poor, so the financial aid goes to people who can't quite be full-pay, but who fit in with the other parents at the school."

Wow, that's a gross quote. So she's doing the school a favor by being broke on paper but not "actually poor"? Now I want to read all of her comments.

It's gross and it's a mindset that is very common in the DC nonprofit/think tank world where she works. I used to work in that world and was grossed out by many of my coworkers. They are worse than the actual full pay people at privates like biglaw lawyers who had loans actually put in the time and work 80 hour weeks. A lot of these nonprofit people are like her--they are truly entitled as in they feel like they deserve private school while working very little and having inheritances coming to them because they are "intelligent" and uppity. They are also the most opposed to actual poor students being in the school because it takes away from what they feel they are entitled to.

[Anonymous]

This part of the quote is my favorite:

"The admissions team really doesn't want an influx of people who are actually poor, so the financial aid goes to people who can't quite be full-pay, but who fit in with the other parents at the school."

[Anonymous]

The only ingredient in her lunch that she mentions the source is the bread, her "fancy bread". She doesn't state where anything else is sourced. It's on purpose. Honestly I don't have an issue with her fancy bread, and I hope her "open faced chicken salad sandwich" on her fancy bread is delicious. Not sure why a certain PP is pressed on arguing that the woman didn't go to the Inn, UNLESS the poster is the actual woman in the article. I mean, who really cares. I've been to the Inn, food was good.

If the PP is the woman in the article, good luck with your inheritance.

You are responding to multiple people. I am the PP that originally said I didn't think she stayed at the Inn- it would be inconsistent with other things in her diary, like not going to Savannah Bananasas (as another PP pointed out). I also think she bought a loaf of bread at Patty O's, which relies on people NOT staying at the Inn for their business since guests at the Inn have breakfast included. Why do you assume bad intentions on the part of the diarist? I don't think saying she bought good bread from Washington, VA is any kind of flex at all, and she may not, either. And I am definitely not the diarist, since she is young enough to be my daughter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

The only ingredient in her lunch that she mentions the source is the bread, her "fancy bread". She doesn't state where anything else is sourced. It's on purpose. Honestly I don't have an issue with her fancy bread, and I hope her "open faced chicken salad sandwich" on her fancy bread is delicious. Not sure why a certain PP is pressed on arguing that the woman didn't go to the Inn, UNLESS the poster is the actual woman in the article. I mean, who really cares. I've been to the Inn, food was good.

If the PP is the woman in the article, good luck with your inheritance.

You are responding to multiple people. I am the PP that originally said I didn't think she stayed at the Inn- it would be inconsistent with other things in her diary, like not going to Savannah Bananasas (as another PP pointed out). I also think she bought a loaf of bread at Patty O's, which relies on people NOT staying at the Inn for their business since guests at the Inn have breakfast included. Why do you assume bad intentions on the part of the diarist? I don't think saying she bought good bread from Washington, VA is any kind of flex at all, and she may not, either. And I am definitely not the diarist, since she is young enough to be my daughter.

Let it go.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow, I read the comments on the diary page and they’re so much gentler than here. What a bunch of harpies.

I don’t like the term “harpies”, but I was struck by the negativity here vs the comments as well. The article was well-written, and I enjoyed reading details about what life looks for a family of 3 choosing the DC lifestyle they did compared to my DC area lifestyle with a higher HHI but in the suburbs and with 3 kids. I would love to read more of these DC-focused diaries.

Maybe I'm missing some comments but the ones I saw are from younger people saying things like "I hope to have a life like this when I'm your age!" and I think before you get married or have kids reading about someone with a very achievable HHI but a very leisurely life probably sounds nice and potentially an option for your future. But for those of us who live in DC and have kids and pay our own bills what jumps out is how very scaffolded her life is. She and her husband don't save money for anything at all beyond retirement. She didn't save for a downpayment on her house, or her condo, or her car. She doesn't have savings for college. She's kind of skating along spending everything that's not a pre-tax deduction and sure: that's nice work if you can get it, but seeing her cheerfully respond to a 30 year old commenter looking forward to having that lifestyle herself in a decade feels almost meanspirited. This is not a lifestyle you can "achieve," only one you can receive. And if you haven't had it handed to you at 30 it's not coming at 39.

Don’t disagree at all, but I still loved the glimpse into her privileged life. Your sentence in bold is awesome.

[Anonymous]

Fake news: Streaming Services: $40 (Spotify, Netflix, Hulu, Max, Paramount, Peacock, Disney+).

[Anonymous]

LOL this chick is going to get outed. She posted way too many details, I'm sure those who know her can piece it together.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So her parents pay her kid’s tuition but they get FA? WTH?

Because they FA is based on their income/assets and not the grandparents. This is common. Middle income parents qualify for the aid, grandparents then pay the bill.

Gaming the system, this seriously rubs me the wrong way. Wow.

Don't private schools get to establish their own FA policies? Why get mad about this?

Because private schools are always pushing for contributions from current parents to fund financial aid. This woman is having her parents pay reimburse her for her kid's tuition, that is income. Is she disclosing that? Is she disclosing ANY of her parents' financial contributions to her school? Because all of those "gifts" are income. I am not ok with the thousands of dollars I give to my kids school annual fund to use to subsidize a family like this, a family that gets money from grandparents to pay for a car, a house, a wedding, their college, and probably many other extras. A family that WFH but dilly dallies all day.

I read the comments of the refinery article and see that the woman is reading them and frequently responds. I suspect she is also on this thread, defensively responding to justify her position. Over and over again. It is obvious.

So here is what she wrote in the money diary article comments in response to someone asking her why she gets financial aid for her kid's private school. Yeah, in her own words:

"When you apply for financial aid, it's similar to applying for a mortgage. You have to disclose all income, savings, and investments. In addition, there is an extensive questionnaire regarding your spending (vacations, country club memberships, car/boat payments, etc.). Everything gets put into a software system, and the computer more or less decides what you can afford. From there, the school makes their admission decisions based on the financial aid available and who needs it.

To the point about someone with a higher salary qualifying for financial aid, I think this gets at the not-so-secret secret of private schools. Yes they want diversity, but they want diversity on their terms. The admissions team really doesn't want an influx of people who are actually poor, so the financial aid goes to people who can't quite be full-pay, but who fit in with the other parents at the school."

Rich people stay rich because they know how to work the system. The school desperately wants "socio economic diversity" so everyone feels good about themselves, but they also don't social issues when it comes to dealing with legit poor families and wrap-around services.

What's crazy is that a $250K HHI is qualifying as "socio economic diversity" in these local private schools. It's gross.