New Money Diary in DC - $248k/year

[Anonymous]

Have you even been to Washington? There is literally nothing there, except the Inn and bed and breakfasts in case you can't afford to stay at the Inn.

Not at all sure what that has to do with the diarist saying she went to the town - but yes, I have been to the Inn AND to a nearby bed and breakfast, so I know that some people go to the town just for the restaurant but MANY people go so they can bike or hike in the surrounding area and visit the cute shops (and we have enough money to stay wherever we want and prefer the b&b, and I’m sure we aren’t the only ones). My point is you are assuming she went to the Inn and didn’t a bunch of money and based on the context provided by her diary I don’t think she did.

[Anonymous]

^ meant to say “and spent a bunch of money”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow, I read the comments on the diary page and they’re so much gentler than here. What a bunch of harpies.

Comments are likely moderated on the diary page. Refinery24 will delete the snark.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow, I read the comments on the diary page and they’re so much gentler than here. What a bunch of harpies.

I don’t like the term “harpies”, but I was struck by the negativity here vs the comments as well. The article was well-written, and I enjoyed reading details about what life looks for a family of 3 choosing the DC lifestyle they did compared to my DC area lifestyle with a higher HHI but in the suburbs and with 3 kids. I would love to read more of these DC-focused diaries.

Maybe I'm missing some comments but the ones I saw are from younger people saying things like "I hope to have a life like this when I'm your age!" and I think before you get married or have kids reading about someone with a very achievable HHI but a very leisurely life probably sounds nice and potentially an option for your future. But for those of us who live in DC and have kids and pay our own bills what jumps out is how very scaffolded her life is. She and her husband don't save money for anything at all beyond retirement. She didn't save for a downpayment on her house, or her condo, or her car. She doesn't have savings for college. She's kind of skating along spending everything that's not a pre-tax deduction and sure: that's nice work if you can get it, but seeing her cheerfully respond to a 30 year old commenter looking forward to having that lifestyle herself in a decade feels almost meanspirited. This is not a lifestyle you can "achieve," only one you can receive. And if you haven't had it handed to you at 30 it's not coming at 39.

No one receiving tons of parental scaffolding is looking around thinking ‘I’ve created a really nice life for myself and I would be in a much worse place if I was not reliant on family $.’ Instead, they are like ‘I work really hard to have this life.’ They’ve lived in a fantasy land where their parents put them ahead on the board and then kept pushing them ahead their entire life. They may realize when they can’t provide the same scaffolding they received to their child that they were exceptionally lucky to have had what they had.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Have you even been to Washington? There is literally nothing there, except the Inn and bed and breakfasts in case you can't afford to stay at the Inn.

Not at all sure what that has to do with the diarist saying she went to the town - but yes, I have been to the Inn AND to a nearby bed and breakfast, so I know that some people go to the town just for the restaurant but MANY people go so they can bike or hike in the surrounding area and visit the cute shops (and we have enough money to stay wherever we want and prefer the b&b, and I’m sure we aren’t the only ones). My point is you are assuming she went to the Inn and didn’t a bunch of money and based on the context provided by her diary I don’t think she did.

She said she was eating bread that she got from her trip to Washington, VA. Where else is she getting the bread other than the Inn at Little Washington? For real, being so contrarian for no reason is on point for DCUM. She got the bread exactly where she said she got it from and it is a funny flex to even mention it for the article.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow, I read the comments on the diary page and they’re so much gentler than here. What a bunch of harpies.

I don’t like the term “harpies”, but I was struck by the negativity here vs the comments as well. The article was well-written, and I enjoyed reading details about what life looks for a family of 3 choosing the DC lifestyle they did compared to my DC area lifestyle with a higher HHI but in the suburbs and with 3 kids. I would love to read more of these DC-focused diaries.

Maybe I'm missing some comments but the ones I saw are from younger people saying things like "I hope to have a life like this when I'm your age!" and I think before you get married or have kids reading about someone with a very achievable HHI but a very leisurely life probably sounds nice and potentially an option for your future. But for those of us who live in DC and have kids and pay our own bills what jumps out is how very scaffolded her life is. She and her husband don't save money for anything at all beyond retirement. She didn't save for a downpayment on her house, or her condo, or her car. She doesn't have savings for college. She's kind of skating along spending everything that's not a pre-tax deduction and sure: that's nice work if you can get it, but seeing her cheerfully respond to a 30 year old commenter looking forward to having that lifestyle herself in a decade feels almost meanspirited. This is not a lifestyle you can "achieve," only one you can receive. And if you haven't had it handed to you at 30 it's not coming at 39.

No one receiving tons of parental scaffolding is looking around thinking ‘I’ve created a really nice life for myself and I would be in a much worse place if I was not reliant on family $.’ Instead, they are like ‘I work really hard to have this life.’ They’ve lived in a fantasy land where their parents put them ahead on the board and then kept pushing them ahead their entire life. They may realize when they can’t provide the same scaffolding they received to their child that they were exceptionally lucky to have had what they had.

Then it’s her parent’s fault for not making it crystal clear to her that this monetary help and her education puts her on third base. I am MC and I work my butt off so my child can finish college debt free and he knows it. Why? Because we have conversations about all of the help he gets (from me, his university in generous grants, the federal government in a Pell grant, etc) is what will get him to that point. You can’t totally blame the woman because she may be surrounded by other people who got the same advantages and if her parents didn’t point them out to her, she might not think of them as advantages. Make sure your kids know that not everyone who wants to go to college can go. Not everyone working minimum wage jobs is there because they didn’t work hard enough. Life very often depends on who you are born to and where you are born (it shouldn’t but that is reality).

[Anonymous]

She got the bread from this bakery:
https://www.pattyoscafe.com/

Probably didn't splurge for the full dining experience at the Inn.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She got the bread from this bakery:
https://www.pattyoscafe.com/

Probably didn't splurge for the full dining experience at the Inn.

That bakery/cafe is part of the Inn - opened/run by the same restauranteur and on the website says it was built to give people who stay at the Inn an additional dining option.

Maybe she did and maybe she didn't actually stay at the Inn at LW, but I agree with the original PP that name dropping Patty O's for no reason when talking about making a sandwich was her way of implying that she did. If she did then she's just as spendy as she seems, and if she didn't but is trying to make it seem like she did, that's just kind of sad.

[Anonymous]

So her parents pay her kid’s tuition but they get FA? WTH?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow, I read the comments on the diary page and they’re so much gentler than here. What a bunch of harpies.

I don’t like the term “harpies”, but I was struck by the negativity here vs the comments as well. The article was well-written, and I enjoyed reading details about what life looks for a family of 3 choosing the DC lifestyle they did compared to my DC area lifestyle with a higher HHI but in the suburbs and with 3 kids. I would love to read more of these DC-focused diaries.

Maybe I'm missing some comments but the ones I saw are from younger people saying things like "I hope to have a life like this when I'm your age!" and I think before you get married or have kids reading about someone with a very achievable HHI but a very leisurely life probably sounds nice and potentially an option for your future. But for those of us who live in DC and have kids and pay our own bills what jumps out is how very scaffolded her life is. She and her husband don't save money for anything at all beyond retirement. She didn't save for a downpayment on her house, or her condo, or her car. She doesn't have savings for college. She's kind of skating along spending everything that's not a pre-tax deduction and sure: that's nice work if you can get it, but seeing her cheerfully respond to a 30 year old commenter looking forward to having that lifestyle herself in a decade feels almost meanspirited. This is not a lifestyle you can "achieve," only one you can receive. And if you haven't had it handed to you at 30 it's not coming at 39.

No one receiving tons of parental scaffolding is looking around thinking ‘I’ve created a really nice life for myself and I would be in a much worse place if I was not reliant on family $.’ Instead, they are like ‘I work really hard to have this life.’ They’ve lived in a fantasy land where their parents put them ahead on the board and then kept pushing them ahead their entire life. They may realize when they can’t provide the same scaffolding they received to their child that they were exceptionally lucky to have had what they had.

If you look at her responses to the article comments, she does realize how much parental help she’s gotten and is grateful for it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So her parents pay her kid’s tuition but they get FA? WTH?

Because they FA is based on their income/assets and not the grandparents. This is common. Middle income parents qualify for the aid, grandparents then pay the bill.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She got the bread from this bakery:
https://www.pattyoscafe.com/

Probably didn't splurge for the full dining experience at the Inn.

That bakery/cafe is part of the Inn - opened/run by the same restauranteur and on the website says it was built to give people who stay at the Inn an additional dining option.

Maybe she did and maybe she didn't actually stay at the Inn at LW, but I agree with the original PP that name dropping Patty O's for no reason when talking about making a sandwich was her way of implying that she did. If she did then she's just as spendy as she seems, and if she didn't but is trying to make it seem like she did, that's just kind of sad.

It's just a bakery, open to the public. If she can't afford tickets to the Savannah Bananas at Nats Park, they can't afford the Inn.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She got the bread from this bakery:
https://www.pattyoscafe.com/

Probably didn't splurge for the full dining experience at the Inn.

That bakery/cafe is part of the Inn - opened/run by the same restauranteur and on the website says it was built to give people who stay at the Inn an additional dining option.

Maybe she did and maybe she didn't actually stay at the Inn at LW, but I agree with the original PP that name dropping Patty O's for no reason when talking about making a sandwich was her way of implying that she did. If she did then she's just as spendy as she seems, and if she didn't but is trying to make it seem like she did, that's just kind of sad.

It's just a bakery, open to the public. If she can't afford tickets to the Savannah Bananas at Nats Park, they can't afford the Inn.

The only ingredient in her lunch that she mentions the source is the bread, her "fancy bread". She doesn't state where anything else is sourced. It's on purpose. Honestly I don't have an issue with her fancy bread, and I hope her "open faced chicken salad sandwich" on her fancy bread is delicious. Not sure why a certain PP is pressed on arguing that the woman didn't go to the Inn, UNLESS the poster is the actual woman in the article. I mean, who really cares. I've been to the Inn, food was good.

If the PP is the woman in the article, good luck with your inheritance.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So her parents pay her kid’s tuition but they get FA? WTH?

Because they FA is based on their income/assets and not the grandparents. This is common. Middle income parents qualify for the aid, grandparents then pay the bill.

Gaming the system, this seriously rubs me the wrong way. Wow.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So her parents pay her kid’s tuition but they get FA? WTH?

Because they FA is based on their income/assets and not the grandparents. This is common. Middle income parents qualify for the aid, grandparents then pay the bill.

Gaming the system, this seriously rubs me the wrong way. Wow.

Don't private schools get to establish their own FA policies? Why get mad about this?