The impact of a senior backing out of college commitment

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Backing out of an ED commitment to highly selective schools ends up hurting so many other kids. But bad families exist. Private schools can expel these families, but there's not much public schools can do. Trashy people are trashy people. Universities will make a note of the school and move on to the other 25,000 high schools out there. If you are wondering why no one from your school gets in to certain colleges, that's why.

Oh please. Get over yourself, and your "highly selective school" worship.

Schools are businesses, just like Target.

If my DC gets an ED acceptance and, for whatever reason, decides 4 months later that they want to go somewhere else, or just not go to the acceptance school, that is life. Yes, I'll lose a deposit. But it may be worth it to us, for whatever reason.

The school will not fall apart because my child or your's does not attend in the end.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Every year on DCUM there are parents who openly make multiple deposits and see no problem letting their kid commit to Multiple schools.
It is wrong, but some parents just don’t care. Maybe reading this thread will change their minds.

It's not "wrong." You can't afford it, they can. Such is life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It happened again at our school. A senior recently backed out of a commitment to a very selective college in order to attend another very selective college in the same region.

Why do parents allow this? It HURTS future applicants from the school -- those who would have been really happy to accept and keep their word.

Good grief. This is ridiculous. Kids cannot choose a college based on some hypothetical theory about hurting chances of others later.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Backing out of an ED commitment to highly selective schools ends up hurting so many other kids. But bad families exist. Private schools can expel these families, but there's not much public schools can do. Trashy people are trashy people. Universities will make a note of the school and move on to the other 25,000 high schools out there. If you are wondering why no one from your school gets in to certain colleges, that's why.

Oh please. Get over yourself, and your "highly selective school" worship.

Schools are businesses, just like Target.

If my DC gets an ED acceptance and, for whatever reason, decides 4 months later that they want to go somewhere else, or just not go to the acceptance school, that is life. Yes, I'll lose a deposit. But it may be worth it to us, for whatever reason.

The school will not fall apart because my child or your's does not attend in the end.

You must be new to how college admissions work at top 20 schools. Reneging on an ED contract absolutely hurts other students and the high school. Which is why most good private high schools are absolutely livid when a family chooses this. No top 20 school takes more than a handful of students from a particular high school. That kid took a spot that could have gone to another student and it pisses everyone off when families do this. And high schools are absolutely blacklisted when there’s a pattern of students reneging on ED contracts.

The only exception is when a financial aid package does not match the NPC. Or there has been a change in financial circumstances. But typically T20 private schools will deal with that and make the numbers work.

So it’s almost always a d&ck move by families who do this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Backing out of an ED commitment to highly selective schools ends up hurting so many other kids. But bad families exist. Private schools can expel these families, but there's not much public schools can do. Trashy people are trashy people. Universities will make a note of the school and move on to the other 25,000 high schools out there. If you are wondering why no one from your school gets in to certain colleges, that's why.

Oh please. Get over yourself, and your "highly selective school" worship.

Schools are businesses, just like Target.

If my DC gets an ED acceptance and, for whatever reason, decides 4 months later that they want to go somewhere else, or just not go to the acceptance school, that is life. Yes, I'll lose a deposit. But it may be worth it to us, for whatever reason.

The school will not fall apart because my child or your's does not attend in the end.

You must be new to how college admissions work at top 20 schools. Reneging on an ED contract absolutely hurts other students and the high school. Which is why most good private high schools are absolutely livid when a family chooses this. No top 20 school takes more than a handful of students from a particular high school. That kid took a spot that could have gone to another student and it pisses everyone off when families do this. And high schools are absolutely blacklisted when there’s a pattern of students reneging on ED contracts.

The only exception is when a financial aid package does not match the NPC. Or there has been a change in financial circumstances. But typically T20 private schools will deal with that and make the numbers work.

So it’s almost always a d&ck move by families who do this.

I’m not new to this. I’ve had 2 graduate from Big 3 schools and another coming along.

No one is “absolutely livid” about anything. The CCOs are there to support and help all families and students. They get it. Things happen; situations change.

[Anonymous]

What exactly happened, OP?

There is NOTHING wrong with a kid accepting a regular decision spot somewhere, paying the deposit, and then ditching that school once she gets in the waitlist somewhere else. That is totally allowed.

And yeah, I will teach my kid to make the best decision FOR HERSELF and not focus on the classes coming after her. She should decline a waitlist spot she wants because of some unknown junior who might want to go to the original school!! Yeah, no.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Backing out of an ED commitment to highly selective schools ends up hurting so many other kids. But bad families exist. Private schools can expel these families, but there's not much public schools can do. Trashy people are trashy people. Universities will make a note of the school and move on to the other 25,000 high schools out there. If you are wondering why no one from your school gets in to certain colleges, that's why.

Oh please. Get over yourself, and your "highly selective school" worship.

Schools are businesses, just like Target.

If my DC gets an ED acceptance and, for whatever reason, decides 4 months later that they want to go somewhere else, or just not go to the acceptance school, that is life. Yes, I'll lose a deposit. But it may be worth it to us, for whatever reason.

The school will not fall apart because my child or your's does not attend in the end.

So you were dishonest about the commitment when you applied ED, so you could get the ED admissions boost. Nice character.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Backing out of an ED commitment to highly selective schools ends up hurting so many other kids. But bad families exist. Private schools can expel these families, but there's not much public schools can do. Trashy people are trashy people. Universities will make a note of the school and move on to the other 25,000 high schools out there. If you are wondering why no one from your school gets in to certain colleges, that's why.

Oh please. Get over yourself, and your "highly selective school" worship.

Schools are businesses, just like Target.

If my DC gets an ED acceptance and, for whatever reason, decides 4 months later that they want to go somewhere else, or just not go to the acceptance school, that is life. Yes, I'll lose a deposit. But it may be worth it to us, for whatever reason.

The school will not fall apart because my child or your's does not attend in the end.

So you were dishonest about the commitment when you applied ED, so you could get the ED admissions boost. Nice character.

I never said my DCs did this. But, we know some who did and have no problem with it.

Frankly it’s no one else’s business.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It happened again at our school. A senior recently backed out of a commitment to a very selective college in order to attend another very selective college in the same region.

Why do parents allow this? It HURTS future applicants from the school -- those who would have been really happy to accept and keep their word.

MYOB

This is between the college and that student.

Has zero to do with you.

Your child would not have been accepted anyway.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Backing out of an ED commitment to highly selective schools ends up hurting so many other kids. But bad families exist. Private schools can expel these families, but there's not much public schools can do. Trashy people are trashy people. Universities will make a note of the school and move on to the other 25,000 high schools out there. If you are wondering why no one from your school gets in to certain colleges, that's why.

Oh please. Get over yourself, and your "highly selective school" worship.

Schools are businesses, just like Target.

If my DC gets an ED acceptance and, for whatever reason, decides 4 months later that they want to go somewhere else, or just not go to the acceptance school, that is life. Yes, I'll lose a deposit. But it may be worth it to us, for whatever reason.

The school will not fall apart because my child or your's does not attend in the end.

You must be new to how college admissions work at top 20 schools. Reneging on an ED contract absolutely hurts other students and the high school. Which is why most good private high schools are absolutely livid when a family chooses this. No top 20 school takes more than a handful of students from a particular high school. That kid took a spot that could have gone to another student and it pisses everyone off when families do this. And high schools are absolutely blacklisted when there’s a pattern of students reneging on ED contracts.

The only exception is when a financial aid package does not match the NPC. Or there has been a change in financial circumstances. But typically T20 private schools will deal with that and make the numbers work.

So it’s almost always a d&ck move by families who do this.

No this is utter BS.

No college works this way with acceptances.

Privates don't lose a slot because a student reneged.

Slots are not done per HS that is absurd. Keep reading the koolaid MAGA.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If this is ED, it’s a serious breech. Counselors can withhold final transcripts.

That would be ridiculous and the height of jackassery to ruin a kid's future like that

If it was ED, they signed an agreement with the college guidance office. The jackassery is in the hands of the applicant.

That is why weight lists exist.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If this is ED, it’s a serious breech. Counselors can withhold final transcripts.

That would be ridiculous and the height of jackassery to ruin a kid's future like that

At our HS parents, student and counselor signed a contract saying student wouldn’t back out. Isn’t that standard?

Life circumstances change.

In the end, it is just a piece of paper. You have to do what is in the best interest of your kid's future.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If this is ED, it’s a serious breech. Counselors can withhold final transcripts.

That would be ridiculous and the height of jackassery to ruin a kid's future like that

Well that's exactly what breaking an ED agreement is, isn't it?

No, going after a 17 year old kid for taking advantage of a different opportunity than the one they thought they wanted 6 months ago but realized they didn't is the only jackassery here.

The only future at stake is the kid picking a different school, no one else.

Any counselor who gets vindictive over this and withholds a kid's final transcript should not be working as a counselor

[Anonymous]

Why

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Backing out of an ED commitment to highly selective schools ends up hurting so many other kids. But bad families exist. Private schools can expel these families, but there's not much public schools can do. Trashy people are trashy people. Universities will make a note of the school and move on to the other 25,000 high schools out there. If you are wondering why no one from your school gets in to certain colleges, that's why.

Make it make sense. Are they gonna expel the student the last week of school? I don’t think so.

The entire school could be BLACKLISTED

Yeah, right.

Just like TPing someone's house in the 1980s was Going To Go On Your Permanent Record.