Going to orientation alone
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Anonymous
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A lot of the mandatory summer orientation programs have moved to online; is that an option for your kid?
They still have "welcome week" in-person activities just after move-in. If not, it's fine if they go to the summer orientation solo. Also, LOL'd at "Will he have someone to sit with at lunch? Attend sessions with, etc etc. I would try to make the event as un-awkward as possible for him." I don't know that there'd be a more awkward way for him to transition to college than for him to have to sit with his mom and grandmom at lunch or in orientation sessions. The discomfort is a part of the process, and is an essential step in their becoming an independent adult. |
Anonymous
A lot of hotels don't let kids under 21 check in. |
Anonymous
Right, tell mom to come another time. |
Anonymous
(I'm the same person who just posted that. Wanted to clarify that that quote was from a different poster, not OP. I think OP is doing just fine.) |
Anonymous
Parents are not allowed at any student sessions at our orientation. So the only time you'd have would be lunch and after the sessions are over. And yes, it is awkward no matter what. I don't see how having a parent there is less awkward. The parents of this generation (including myself) have this tendency to insert ourselves in everything out of a mix of guilt/duty and having been neglected ourselves. It's not a good thing. In just a couple months these kids will be alone at college and they will be fine, so they can handle a couple days. |
Anonymous
Were you neglected or did you have an emotionally distant parent? Taking your child to college orientation is not being a helicopter. It’s what we do. We show up for our kids. It sounds like you built defense mechanisms for yourself. |
Anonymous
Go if you want, but it's not neglect to let an adult go to an event by themselves. That's nuts and makes you seem Very Much like a helicopter parent. DP. |
Anonymous
NP- Do most of us not show up constantly, having done so for 18 years? Do you genuinely think that not going to ONE event (out of the very many linked to college alone!) is not showing up for your kid or equivalent to neglect? You cannot be serious. |
Anonymous
No, parents went to most of my events and were present at move-in. Attended multi-day orientation by myself as did most of the other students. As OP explained non-English speaking mother with health issues arriving from overseas on a pre-planned trip. Extremely reasonable to have son attend alone. DC does not appear to have an issue with it, so not sure why anyone would. |
Anonymous
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My kid's university does Freshmen orientation the week before classes start. Freshmen move-in a few days earlier than upperclassman and there is a welcome team with all kinds of activities, course selection, advising, picnic, parties, etc.
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Anonymous
That's how many schools do it, and it's a good system. But OP's kid's school is not like that … they have an orientation in the summer beforehand, hence the confusion from LOTS of people on this thread, thinking OP is, like, abandoning their kid, rather than seeing this school's orientation as essentially a one-night summer camp or mini-conference, depending on which mental model works better for you. |
Anonymous
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UMD has two day student orientation dates in June and July.
Day 1 starts early, so if you're coming from further away it makes sense to have a place to stay prior to the first day. They also have a virtual student orientation if someone can't travel. |
Anonymous
This is by far- the best way to do it. I’m guessing larger schools can’t pull this off for a variety of reasons. |
Anonymous
Many of the large universities do it this way. Bring groups in all summer long for orientation and registration. There is big picture university stuff as well as intended major advising in smaller groups. My daughter is a freshman at an SEC school, I'd say parent attendance was 60-70%. Families were welcome to do it either way, and I believe they had an option for kids who would need to stay on campus more than the one night. They also had an August orientation at the time of move in for those who really, really couldn't make something work on one of the 20ish orientations run over the summer. |
Anonymous
This!! You are only a 4 hour drive away. Go and arrange visit with your mom at another time. However, first check are there parent activities during this orientation? For both of my kids, the answer was yes. So sure not everyone had a parent there, but most did. And heck, my kid met one of their roommates at Orientation (there were 4 sessions) and that kid had a parent there (and that kid is the youngest of 3). So yeah, they may be an adult soon, but I'd go to learn about the university as well |