14 y/o DS worried about shower situation at camp

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here! The situation is mostly worked out; my son will wear the robe and change in bathroom stalls. The only thing he's worried about at this point is the shower curtain gap. It's not to the point that it will stop him from going, but he's still a bit anxious about it. Quite honestly by now it may be more of a matter of him realizing that it's not the end of the world if someone does happen to walk past and catch a very brief glimpse of him. Does anyone have ideas for how to help him get to that point? Thank you all so much for your helpful ideas!

Your child shows signs of generalized anxiety. It is not within the realm of normal concerns to be ruminating about a potential centimeter gap in a shower curtain. I say this as someone trying to help, you may wanna look for other areas in which he is having other anxieties because The earlier you teach him tools to address these ruminating thoughts, the better.

[Anonymous]

if there are stalls for showers, that should be enough privacy to not have to be naked in front of other boys.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This a 14 year old boy. Of course it’s uncomfortable and awkward and completely unwanted. PPs shouldn’t sweep that under the rug and pretend it’s ridiculous to worry about it. It’s age appropriate to worry about it.

BUT, this is his worry to handle. Definitely listen. Don’t solve. He can solve it his way.

+1

[Anonymous]

Do not make DS go to camp at all. If he wants to, then that is one thing. If he does not want to go, then do not make him. There might be more to his story than what he is able to verbalize right now.

[Anonymous]

Is this a new worry? Or has a 14 year old never had to change clothes in public before? I recall my then 7 year old saying he didn't like changing out of his bathing ahit at day camp, but he did it along with all of the other 7 year olds and it became not a big deal. I guess in reflection he hasnt had a ton of places to change clothes- the pool, the rec center, camping, that might be it. But by age 14 I am curious if this is something he has never encountered or if its a newly developed fear?

Asking because I'm wondering if I need to make my 10 year old change clothes in the locker room more so that this doesn't become his future!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is this a new worry? Or has a 14 year old never had to change clothes in public before? I recall my then 7 year old saying he didn't like changing out of his bathing ahit at day camp, but he did it along with all of the other 7 year olds and it became not a big deal. I guess in reflection he hasnt had a ton of places to change clothes- the pool, the rec center, camping, that might be it. But by age 14 I am curious if this is something he has never encountered or if its a newly developed fear?

Asking because I'm wondering if I need to make my 10 year old change clothes in the locker room more so that this doesn't become his future!

Well you know your kid

Why don't you figure it out? It's not OP's concern.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He will have to get over. This is part of camp life. Especially for boys.

-1

He doesn't have to get over anything. Every problem has a solution.

At least the showers are separate. Just send him with a terrycloth robe. Not hard

Did you read the OP? She specifically said she suggested that to him and he said he was uncomfortable even with that

I did read and just reread the OP.
She didn't mention a robe, just a towel which even I would be uncomfortable with.

You’d be uncomfortable walking to the shower with a towel wrapped totally around you?

Yes, it doesn't feel as secure. Maybe because it isn't

Wow, life must be hard for you

It really isn't

I ask for what I want and make accommodation for my comfort.

And no way am I going to be naked around strangers or allow my kids to be in this age if cell phone cameras and kids not being taught basic civility to others by there parents

And most parents I know feel the same.

Phone have absolutely ruined childhood for this generation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is this a new worry? Or has a 14 year old never had to change clothes in public before? I recall my then 7 year old saying he didn't like changing out of his bathing ahit at day camp, but he did it along with all of the other 7 year olds and it became not a big deal. I guess in reflection he hasnt had a ton of places to change clothes- the pool, the rec center, camping, that might be it. But by age 14 I am curious if this is something he has never encountered or if its a newly developed fear?

Asking because I'm wondering if I need to make my 10 year old change clothes in the locker room more so that this doesn't become his future!

Well you know your kid

Why don't you figure it out? It's not OP's concern.

I mean her kid not taking a shower is also not my concern. But here we are talking about it.

Just wondering if its something new that could hit any 14 year old, or if its because he never changed in front of anyone at a younger age.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is this a new worry? Or has a 14 year old never had to change clothes in public before? I recall my then 7 year old saying he didn't like changing out of his bathing ahit at day camp, but he did it along with all of the other 7 year olds and it became not a big deal. I guess in reflection he hasnt had a ton of places to change clothes- the pool, the rec center, camping, that might be it. But by age 14 I am curious if this is something he has never encountered or if its a newly developed fear?

Asking because I'm wondering if I need to make my 10 year old change clothes in the locker room more so that this doesn't become his future!

Well you know your kid

Why don't you figure it out? It's not OP's concern.

I mean her kid not taking a shower is also not my concern. But here we are talking about it.

Just wondering if its something new that could hit any 14 year old, or if its because he never changed in front of anyone at a younger age.

Typically onlly if they have anxiety or have been abused. (not saying either of these happened). But most 14 yo boys dont care about a 1 inch gap in a shower curtain- they're too psyched about knee boarding, sailing, being with friends for a few weeks.

[Anonymous]

My daughter is like that around her friends too even though we are also very body comfortable in our house and she and I are comfortable naked around each other. She said at camp though girls all have bathrobes and it’s so hectic at shower time that no one is paying attention to each other. She is 12.

One thought, is it possible your son is struggling with his sexuality?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My daughter is like that around her friends too even though we are also very body comfortable in our house and she and I are comfortable naked around each other. She said at camp though girls all have bathrobes and it’s so hectic at shower time that no one is paying attention to each other. She is 12.

One thought, is it possible your son is struggling with his sexuality?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My daughter is like that around her friends too even though we are also very body comfortable in our house and she and I are comfortable naked around each other. She said at camp though girls all have bathrobes and it’s so hectic at shower time that no one is paying attention to each other. She is 12.

One thought, is it possible your son is struggling with his sexuality?

Why is OP's son's sexual orientation relevant?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My daughter is like that around her friends too even though we are also very body comfortable in our house and she and I are comfortable naked around each other. She said at camp though girls all have bathrobes and it’s so hectic at shower time that no one is paying attention to each other. She is 12.

One thought, is it possible your son is struggling with his sexuality?

Why is OP's son's sexual orientation relevant?

+1, what??

[Anonymous]

Feel similar as these earlier comments: child not ready for sleep away camp, child may be being teased/bullied, chance child may be struggling with sexuality (reason here as some people seem surprised: there could be visual signs/discomfort.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My daughter is like that around her friends too even though we are also very body comfortable in our house and she and I are comfortable naked around each other. She said at camp though girls all have bathrobes and it’s so hectic at shower time that no one is paying attention to each other. She is 12.

One thought, is it possible your son is struggling with his sexuality?

Why is OP's son's sexual orientation relevant?

+1, what??

Parent of a gay teen female and a gender fluid teen, the anxiety over changing clothes and taking showers at camp was a big worry before the first year. It is absolutely relevant (a 14 year old might be mentally exploring it is totally normal to explore!) and the OP should talk to the director and the kid should, too, even if it isn't an orientation question. Some kids really want privacy. My kids were shy, and worried about privacy. It all worked out, mostly. Thankfully the summer camp has a no tech policy. Conversation is key, OP, to help your kid feel comfortable and know they have options.