What would you do if your spouse used corporal punishment on your kid?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would bring up divorce. No one is allowed to hit my kid with a belt.

It’s his kid too.

And hitting with a belt leaving a mark meets the abuse standard in the DMV so, congrats, the kid has at least one abusive parent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a grandmother, it would kill me to be subjected to hearing my grandchild beat with a belt. I would ask them to leave.

So dramatic. The child wasn’t beat with a belt. He got one swat on the butt. Not abuse.

Hitting with an object hard enough to leave a mark is literally the definition of abuse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A swat with a belt hard enough to leave a mark. Kid was acting out all day, hitting grandparents’ dog, pushing people, not listening, whining and spouse gave a warning that the next time he would be spanked with a belt. And of course the kid misbehaved again. I don’t believe in physical punishment but spouse felt time outs and taking toys away weren’t working.

It sounds like you have raised a kid who feels it’s ok to run wild. The kid pushed your spouse to a breaking point and he broke. I don’t condone using the belt but what have you not done as a parent that allows your child to act that way. If the two of you don’t get control of your kid it will only get worse.

Uh. What.

OP “raised” the kid and the kid “pushed your spouse to the breaking point”

WTF is the spouse not responsible for the way the kid behaves after having him for a father for four years but OP is responsible for her spouses behavior?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A swat with a belt hard enough to leave a mark. Kid was acting out all day, hitting grandparents’ dog, pushing people, not listening, whining and spouse gave a warning that the next time he would be spanked with a belt. And of course the kid misbehaved again. I don’t believe in physical punishment but spouse felt time outs and taking toys away weren’t working.

It sounds like you have raised a kid who feels it’s ok to run wild. The kid pushed your spouse to a breaking point and he broke. I don’t condone using the belt but what have you not done as a parent that allows your child to act that way. If the two of you don’t get control of your kid it will only get worse.

Uh. What.

OP “raised” the kid and the kid “pushed your spouse to the breaking point”

WTF is the spouse not responsible for the way the kid behaves after having him for a father for four years but OP is responsible for her spouses behavior?

This is a little kid here not. The real issue is that dad let everyone know he was at the breaking point. Mom knew kid wasn’t going to stop. Mom didn’t step in.

During the course of our parenting years lots of parents hit the point where they need a break and other parent needs to remove kid or take over. Should dad have had more patience? Maybe. Should mom have intervened when dad said he was at the end of his rope? Definitely. And if mom had, kid wouldn’t have been hit.

Not excusing hitting the kid. But if both parents had actually stepped up to the plate and parented, kid wouldn’t not have been hit.

And I do have to say dad gets points for opening letting everyone know he hit the wall.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A swat with a belt hard enough to leave a mark. Kid was acting out all day, hitting grandparents’ dog, pushing people, not listening, whining and spouse gave a warning that the next time he would be spanked with a belt. And of course the kid misbehaved again. I don’t believe in physical punishment but spouse felt time outs and taking toys away weren’t working.

It sounds like you have raised a kid who feels it’s ok to run wild. The kid pushed your spouse to a breaking point and he broke. I don’t condone using the belt but what have you not done as a parent that allows your child to act that way. If the two of you don’t get control of your kid it will only get worse.

Uh. What.

OP “raised” the kid and the kid “pushed your spouse to the breaking point”

WTF is the spouse not responsible for the way the kid behaves after having him for a father for four years but OP is responsible for her spouses behavior?

This is a little kid here not. The real issue is that dad let everyone know he was at the breaking point. Mom knew kid wasn’t going to stop. Mom didn’t step in.

During the course of our parenting years lots of parents hit the point where they need a break and other parent needs to remove kid or take over. Should dad have had more patience? Maybe. Should mom have intervened when dad said he was at the end of his rope? Definitely. And if mom had, kid wouldn’t have been hit.

Not excusing hitting the kid. But if both parents had actually stepped up to the plate and parented, kid wouldn’t not have been hit.

And I do have to say dad gets points for opening letting everyone know he hit the wall.

It’s nice you award the abuser points.

Every action the kid did which “pushed” his abuser could equally have been dealt with by the abuser. The spouse doesn’t have more responsibility just because she’s the mother. I have never once heard a father blamed when a woman abuses a kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A swat with a belt hard enough to leave a mark. Kid was acting out all day, hitting grandparents’ dog, pushing people, not listening, whining and spouse gave a warning that the next time he would be spanked with a belt. And of course the kid misbehaved again. I don’t believe in physical punishment but spouse felt time outs and taking toys away weren’t working.

It sounds like you have raised a kid who feels it’s ok to run wild. The kid pushed your spouse to a breaking point and he broke. I don’t condone using the belt but what have you not done as a parent that allows your child to act that way. If the two of you don’t get control of your kid it will only get worse.

How can you not understand that the family (OP) using corporal punishment is the same family whose child was misbehaving? Connect the dots.

Sounds like a one off though. And it. Happened after dad told mom and kid that he was at the end of his rope and mom did nothing despite knowing the kid was going to continue misbehaving. I mean, when one parent says to the other, directly or indirectly, that they’ve had enough and can’t continue to effectively parent in the moment it’s time for the other parent to step in and remove the child so the behavior stops.

No. It’s time for the parent who feels like they will remove their belt and hit a four year old with it to remove themselves from the situation. Before they hit a four year old with a belt. The adult who hits is responsible for hitting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A swat with a belt hard enough to leave a mark. Kid was acting out all day, hitting grandparents’ dog, pushing people, not listening, whining and spouse gave a warning that the next time he would be spanked with a belt. And of course the kid misbehaved again. I don’t believe in physical punishment but spouse felt time outs and taking toys away weren’t working.

It sounds like you have raised a kid who feels it’s ok to run wild. The kid pushed your spouse to a breaking point and he broke. I don’t condone using the belt but what have you not done as a parent that allows your child to act that way. If the two of you don’t get control of your kid it will only get worse.

Uh. What.

OP “raised” the kid and the kid “pushed your spouse to the breaking point”

WTF is the spouse not responsible for the way the kid behaves after having him for a father for four years but OP is responsible for her spouses behavior?

This is a little kid here not. The real issue is that dad let everyone know he was at the breaking point. Mom knew kid wasn’t going to stop. Mom didn’t step in.

During the course of our parenting years lots of parents hit the point where they need a break and other parent needs to remove kid or take over. Should dad have had more patience? Maybe. Should mom have intervened when dad said he was at the end of his rope? Definitely. And if mom had, kid wouldn’t have been hit.

Not excusing hitting the kid. But if both parents had actually stepped up to the plate and parented, kid wouldn’t not have been hit.

And I do have to say dad gets points for opening letting everyone know he hit the wall.

It’s nice you award the abuser points.

Every action the kid did which “pushed” his abuser could equally have been dealt with by the abuser. The spouse doesn’t have more responsibility just because she’s the mother. I have never once heard a father blamed when a woman abuses a kid.

Of course no parent should ever lose it. Yet sometimes it happens even to the best parents. And if you’re standing beside your spouse who says I’m going to lose it, you intervene. You have the last chance to act. Its not ok to stand by.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A swat with a belt hard enough to leave a mark. Kid was acting out all day, hitting grandparents’ dog, pushing people, not listening, whining and spouse gave a warning that the next time he would be spanked with a belt. And of course the kid misbehaved again. I don’t believe in physical punishment but spouse felt time outs and taking toys away weren’t working.

How did your kid respond to the swat? Has he continued to misbehave?

.yes what happened after?

[Anonymous]

What does corporal punishment mean to you op? Exactly?

[Anonymous]

Also, it seems like both of you need a parenting intervention. Whacking the kid with a belt is not good. But you seem in deep denial your 4 year old should not be hitting the dog and others repeatedly even if tired. Something is is wrong. Taking away toys and timeouts are not working. Get your kid evaluated and learn to parent the kid you have so you don't screw him up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A swat with a belt hard enough to leave a mark. Kid was acting out all day, hitting grandparents’ dog, pushing people, not listening, whining and spouse gave a warning that the next time he would be spanked with a belt. And of course the kid misbehaved again. I don’t believe in physical punishment but spouse felt time outs and taking toys away weren’t working.

It sounds like you have raised a kid who feels it’s ok to run wild. The kid pushed your spouse to a breaking point and he broke. I don’t condone using the belt but what have you not done as a parent that allows your child to act that way. If the two of you don’t get control of your kid it will only get worse.

Uh. What.

OP “raised” the kid and the kid “pushed your spouse to the breaking point”

WTF is the spouse not responsible for the way the kid behaves after having him for a father for four years but OP is responsible for her spouses behavior?

This is a little kid here not. The real issue is that dad let everyone know he was at the breaking point. Mom knew kid wasn’t going to stop. Mom didn’t step in.

During the course of our parenting years lots of parents hit the point where they need a break and other parent needs to remove kid or take over. Should dad have had more patience? Maybe. Should mom have intervened when dad said he was at the end of his rope? Definitely. And if mom had, kid wouldn’t have been hit.

Not excusing hitting the kid. But if both parents had actually stepped up to the plate and parented, kid wouldn’t not have been hit.

And I do have to say dad gets points for opening letting everyone know he hit the wall.

It’s nice you award the abuser points.

Every action the kid did which “pushed” his abuser could equally have been dealt with by the abuser. The spouse doesn’t have more responsibility just because she’s the mother. I have never once heard a father blamed when a woman abuses a kid.

Of course no parent should ever lose it. Yet sometimes it happens even to the best parents. And if you’re standing beside your spouse who says I’m going to lose it, you intervene. You have the last chance to act. Its not ok to stand by.

Nope. The best parents don’t sometimes hit their kids with belts. They absolutely don’t sometimes hit four year olds with belts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A swat with a belt hard enough to leave a mark. Kid was acting out all day, hitting grandparents’ dog, pushing people, not listening, whining and spouse gave a warning that the next time he would be spanked with a belt. And of course the kid misbehaved again. I don’t believe in physical punishment but spouse felt time outs and taking toys away weren’t working.

No. He needs time out and loss of privileges. If husband wants to teach him discipline, he should monitor time out by sitting there. If kid is overwhelmed, y'all need to go home.

To raise sensible kids, you've to work with them and be patient. Do activities with him to give him a constructive outlet for energy. DH needs to worry less about what other people are thinking, think more about what his kid would think.

Punishing wouldn't help in long run with discipline but it would ruin his self esteem and connection with his dad.

[Anonymous]

We never used corporal punishment, but I do think the fact that it is now societally disfavored is why so many of your kids are obnoxious little brats.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We never used corporal punishment, but I do think the fact that it is now societally disfavored is why so many of your kids are obnoxious little brats.

+1. Most kids today have zero respect or manners, lack discipline, and are little terrors. If you don’t discipline your child, society eventually will.

[Anonymous]

Its possible for a parent to lose it, we are only human. However, screaming or even spanking might be natural response but getting a belt to hit a four year old is an anger management issue.

If you are upset or embarrassed by kid's behavior, pick them up, put them in time out, once you both cool down, talk to them and explain right from wrong. With a 4 year old, you'll have to be patient and consistent.

Also, get him screened for common disorders like ADHD, autism etc and seek professional help to prevent this becoming a pattern.