What's the best age to be an empty nester?

[Anonymous]

I mean, there are obviously benefits to being an empty nester at a relatively young age, but those people missed out on the stuff some of us did pre-kids. I will be 55 when my youngest goes to college. I was 35 when my oldest was born. I would not trade any of those pre-kid years from 22 to 35 for more healthy empty nest years.

[Anonymous]

My two kids have a significant age gap due to fertility challenges, and I am having a much better experience parenting my youngest now that I'm wiser and wealthier. It'd be fun to be an empty nester in your forties when you're still young enough to do more adventurous travel, but I love parenting in my 40s. I wish I had both of my kids between 35-37 and that I'd had more fun in my twenties and early thirties. That is the life cycle that most appeals to me. But, woman plans, and god laughs....

[Anonymous]

I’ll be 48 when my first leaves and 55 when my third leaves. Which I guess feels like pretty good timing. I’ll still be young enough and have a few years left in my career. And hopefully if my kids don’t wait too long to have kids (assuming they want any) I’ll be able to help out with grandkids and not be a super old grandma.

[Anonymous]

If I’d stopped at two kids, I’d have been an empty nester at 49. With my toddler in the mix, it’ll be 55 (DH will be 59).

We talk sometimes about another kid but then…there’s conversations like this that make me pause

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Definitely younger the better to become empty nesters. At the same time, it is better to be child free in your 20's.

As I say to my sister who had her kids in her 20s, whereas I had mine in my 30s, you either pay for it now or later.

She paid for her it in her 20s -- no career, struggled financially, but youngish as an empty nester -- all their kids are living on their own

I paid for it in my early 50s -- I'm an older parent and when I retire, I will have money, but I won't be as healthy as my early 40s.

For me, I would not change the way I did things. Having kids was super hard, and I was not prepared for it in my 20s, at all. Plus, even if my kids were to fly the coup in my 40s, I would still have to work FT and wouldn't be able to travel *that* much.

Whereas, I'm planning to retire in my mid 50s once the youngest goes to college, and we can travel a lot more frequently and for a lot longer.

So, I say, early to mid 50s because you still have some youth left to enjoy traveling and not work. Retiring at 40s would be a lot harder financially than in the 50s.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh look another thread shaming people for not being married and having kids by 25.

I give you folks credit you don't quit.

Old mom here. Nobody is shaming anyone. Just stop.

It is. This is straight out of the family values playbook. This is not a genuine post.

If it's supposed to shame me, it's not working. My honest to god reaction was geez I had zero clue who I was at 22 and was not ready to be a wife or a mom. But hats off to OP, everyone is on their own path.


I fully agree!
The ideal age to have children is any time you can have them with the right person (for you). The biggest decision any of us make isn't when to have children, it's who do we have them with.

OP has kids very young and is still very young. She will likely remarry and have another family and will not be an empty nester at 42.

I also find LMC/MC adult children often live at home so she may not be rid of them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’ll be 48 when my first leaves and 55 when my third leaves. Which I guess feels like pretty good timing. I’ll still be young enough and have a few years left in my career. And hopefully if my kids don’t wait too long to have kids (assuming they want any) I’ll be able to help out with grandkids and not be a super old grandma.

This is me. I had kids at ages 30, 32 and 38. I guess ideally I would have had my third at 35 but I love the age gap.

I lived during my twenties. Thirties was all about the kids. I’m getting my life back in my forties. I don’t want to be an empty nester. It isn’t necessarily something I look forward to. I love having my kids around. I see friends, travel with and without the family. I don’t have to wait for them to go to college.

[Anonymous]

I have shared my kids with ex since they were young. They also go to relative's house almost every week. I feel like I'm already an empty nester.
Soon to be 18-year old will be living with my sister near his college.
The younger one will be home part time another 7 years. I may buy/rent both of them an apartment in 7 years.
I like my space and they don't have the need to be with me all the time.

[Anonymous]

We'll be 45 and 49, which is young for around here.

Hoping we maintain our health and energy and make the most of it for many years!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think the better question is would you rather be kid free from 25-35 or 45-55

In isolation of course only being 48 when you’re kid free sounds better than 60. But unless you have very spread out kids, it of course comes with a trade off of your younger years!

I definitely want to kid free at 45-55. I was having too much fun, dating, going out, traveling everywhere between 25-35 and would have hated to have been tied down as a parent then. Had my twins at 35 and that was perfect for me.

[Anonymous]

I meant to write kid free from 25-35 obviously!

[Anonymous]

I am 63 with a high school senior who has a ways to go. Yes to resources (we are comfortable thankfully) and my years and energy are shorter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I meant to write kid free from 25-35 obviously!

Yes, those are prime fun years. I had my first at 30. I started going out a lot at age 40 right before Covid. I’m now 46 with kids in the house but they are old enough that it is easy enough to leave them with DH. It isn’t like I can’t go out to dinner with friends or go on a trip with friends. I travel as a whole family, with entire families of friends, moms and kids, moms only, travel with just older kids, travel with youngest only.

I mean I can’t think of anything I can’t do now when kids are still here.

[Anonymous]

I guess I could travel with just DH but I like traveling with others. I don’t need to travel with DH alone.

[Anonymous]

The age you are when your last kid leaves the nest.