Worst Group Split Check Experiences?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:People always say "oh, it all comes out in the wash" but that hasn't been my experience. The light eaters/non-drinkers/vegetarians always dine that way, as do the big eaters and boozers.

They are the ones over-ordering with the drinks, appetizers and desserts and then want to claim people shared it. I'm happy to pay for my own meal and drink (plus tax and tip) but I don't need to subsidize others (except if I invite and offer to pay). They are trying to justify their behavior by slamming others and calling them cheap when they are too cheap to pay for their own meals.

[Anonymous]

Worst was friend who lacked insight and who wanted to split the check among 3. 2 of us had an entree and a non alcoholic beverage. She had an appetizer to herself, soup, entree, alcohol beverage and dessert and and maybe coffee —then suggested we split it equally! I was boiling mad and don’t know that I said anything (younger days). We are still friends (she has other redeeming qualities) and I immediately ask for a separate check and do this very often. Or if I need to split the check —one place would only give 3 checks for 9 people, I split with the reliable one at the table. Splitting checks stresses me out. I nip it in the bud right away.

[Anonymous]

I will pay the whole bill myself before I will let it be split into 6 separate checks or before I will sit there and calculate what everyone needs to Venmo someone else. Absolutely not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I will pay the whole bill myself before I will let it be split into 6 separate checks or before I will sit there and calculate what everyone needs to Venmo someone else. Absolutely not.

That's fine when you're affluent. Many people can't afford to subsidize other people's meals. Chipping in an extra $100 beyond what you ate or drank could be trivial for one person and devastating for another, depending on their budgets. There's nothing petty about tossing in 1.5 x the cost of your meal (which comfortably covers tip and tax) when you're on a strict budget and ate much less than everyone else as a result.

PP, I've gone out with friends when I was in grad school and had like no money. This was a point in my life where a meal would be half of a pack of pasta roni or the like. I'd specifically just order a side because I wanted to hang out with people, but couldn't afford more than that. Everyone else would have a full meal + dessert + drinks. If someone waited until the check arrived and then suggested splitting evenly, that would be unreasonable because I couldn't afford it, and had I known that people expected me to pitch in a ton of money, I would have at least ordered a meal, too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The problem with not splitting evenly is that 100000% if you're the schmuck who gets the bill last you're going to get screwed because so many idiots at the table never add in taxes and tip.

Done this so many times where the entire table is like $120 short and no one wants to budge at adding in more even though they're shorting on tax and tip.

Worst experience of all time was.when we had like 13 people for a suckling log dinner at a restaurant. Of course the whiner.in the group only wanted to pay for their drinks and their own food because they didn't eat the appetizer. It made the bill a giant pain in the ass because everyone had to break down every single drink item they had. Then they had to figure out how many people ate appetizer X and split that, then appetizer Y and split that among those who ate, etc. it took 1.5 hours because even after people itemized they had people who calculated it wrong, who were being dishonest, or who wanted to throw $0 in for taxes and tip.

Honestly,.if you get angry over $40 or $50 extra during a night out with your friends because they might have gotten wine while you had water stay a home. Over time it works out in the long run. People who want to pay their own are the biggest pain in the ass. And then you'll get whiners who might complain they only ate 5% of shared dish X while everyone else at 10%, therefore they should pay less even though it was shared.

Just say no next time if people ask you out and you want to pay your own. You are a horrible person that is a pain in the ass.

Over time, in the long run, what works out is that your friend who doesn't drink winds up paying for your meals and drinks multiple times over. Great for you, not so great for them.

Why should Alex, who doesn't drink alcohol at all and never shares appetizers because they have food allergies, subsidize your alcohol and apps?

Why should Bob, who joined the dinner late (while everyone else was having desert) and only ordered a cup of coffee, pay for your three-course meal?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When I was a broke student I attended a multi-course, preset menu baby shower at an expensive restaurant, and all of the invited guests were presented with a bill at the end of the meal. There went my grocery budget for the week! Still mad at myself for not speaking up.

had you assumed the meal was comped?

i've always i had to pay and am pleasantly surprised when that is not the case.

At a baby shower?? Yes, I assumed the cost of the shower was covered by the person(s) hosting the shower as I have never been to a baby or bridal shower where guests were expected to pay for anything (besides bringing a gift). There was a formal paper invitation and everything - not a casual "let's all take Maggie out to celebrate her pregnancy."

I’ve only been to showers at someone’s home but guess I might’ve thought it was anything goes if at a restaurant.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Vacation version. Three couples agree to 7 days at the Outer Banks (peak covid). Find a house to accommodate everyone, share cost split between three couples for the week. When it is time to pay back the person who booked on their card, one couple says that now they only plan on staying 3 days, so they are only paying for 3 days. Despite the initial agreement and house size and cost to accommodate them when they are there. Other two couples ate the additional cost.

Yikes. This wins the thread.

Yes, no contest. Are the 2 couples still friends with the 3rd couple?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I had one friend of a friend and her boyfriend who were awful. Would screw everyone over. I learned that if they were there, I would order separately or pay and leave early. Something where I don’t get stuck figurig out and paying for those losers.

Also had this scenario with a friend of a friend, back in the big group going out days. They insisted that because they were a couple, they counted as one person. WTF?! And then they’d order extravagantly (when we were all broke) and expect everyone to subsidize them. They were completely awful people.

So then you don’t go out with them anymore knowing they’re going to do that. Being the jerk at the end who whines and nickels and dimes is honestly no better. I don’t want to go out with either the moocher or the penny pincher.

Spoken like someone who has never had to worry about money.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I went to brunch with a large group. They didn't ask for separate checks, just passed the little black book with the bill around the table after the meal and everyone put in cash.

I was one of the last people to contribute, and I noticed there was already more than enough cash in the book to cover the meal and a decent tip. But I still put in my share, including tip, as did the guy next to me.

Then I watched as the last guy in the group -- known for being a cheapskate -- counted the cash in the book, TOOK several bills out and put them in his pocket, closed the book and set it on the table.

Not only did he not contribute, he actually stole money from the group -- and possibly the server. Unbelievable. I never went out to eat with him again.

Woah! That wins

[Anonymous]

It’s always the person who orders the more expensive meal that says it’s no big deal to split evenly. They’re not stupid, they do it on purpose and call the others “bean counters” to try to shame them into subsidizing their meals. If you know one of these people, the next time you go out, order more than they do. Order three meals if you have to, and have two of them boxed up. Suggest splitting the bill evenly and watch them seethe.

[Anonymous]

I’ve never had to split a cheque evenly in a situation of various consumptions. I grew up in Canada and it was always that you paid for what you order (or you/partner). I’m not sure why it’s so different in the US, but no, I’m not paying for your steak lobster and wine while I order a soup.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:One person at a large table who states she will not tip on the tax. Which is like a small amount but still will not pay the same amount as everyone else so others have to make up for it to have a full tip. And for those of you who don't tip on the tax, you're cheap.

So the waiters get more money in states with higher sales tax than those with lower sales tax? How do you justify that? Are they more deserving in their state has a higher sales tax? More hard working? Please, help me understand.

[Anonymous]

I used to dine out with a friend who tended to order about the same amount as me but was a poor tipper. It was embarrassing, and while I’m a generous tipper, I shouldn’t have to tip forty percent to not look bad. I ask for separate checks now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’ve never had to split a cheque evenly in a situation of various consumptions. I grew up in Canada and it was always that you paid for what you order (or you/partner). I’m not sure why it’s so different in the US, but no, I’m not paying for your steak lobster and wine while I order a soup.

I grew up and still live in Canada and have definitely had issues with people wanting me to split the bill evenly.

[Anonymous]

First, try to see if the server will do separate checks

Second, if not, take the bill first if you can, so the "let's just split evenly" doesn't take it first and announce what everyone "owes." Add up what you owe and add thirty percent (ten percent for tax, twenty percent for tip). Easy to figure out because you figure out ten percent and triple. If tax is less than ten percent, just let the extra be a larger tip.