Can we afford $45k/year private for 2 kids? Stats included

[Anonymous]

Hi OP,

You need to put together a budget. It will tell you whether you can afford it. Start with your take-home pay. It’s probably about $250k. You have $100k committed to PITI. If you want to commit another $100k to private school tuition, you are left with $50k. So this means that you have to rely on your stock to pay for food/car/savings/kids’ activities/camps/vacation. Is it doable? Sure. But it will be tight, unless you expect your income to go up steadily for a while.

So this is about your risk tolerance. Do both of you work? How do you assess your job security? From your stats it sounds like you may have family that can help financially. If saving for retirement is not a big objective here because you’ll be inheriting, then go for it!

Good luck!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just know that you will be among the poor people at the privates on your income (anything under $500K with two full-pay tuitions).

I realize this sounds ridiculous but it really, really, really is true. At these schools you have the financial aid families (who generally don't have a large social presence at the school as they are working, live further out, etc) and then the average incomes jumps to about $800K, easily.

Your entire social world will have more money than you do and will be living in homes, driving cars and vacationing to places that you can't afford.

I am not a materialistic person but I'm glad I didn't have to be immersed in this world for 13 years. We switched our kids for high school and they are okay with it but it rears it's head up in big and small ways. There are other kids who are never completely comfortable with it.

We came from public and are so incredibly glad that we still have our public school friends as they understand our world view, our budget, our upbringings, etc. It's hard to explain fully but almost everything in life is different if you are living off $400K (which again is an incredibly good salary) or $2 million.

This is so true. Our HHI is $760K and we’re mid-30s. Our PITI is $5.5K (950K equity with $900K mortgage), $1.2 million between brokerage and 401Ks, grandparents created trusts for our three kids for college, two paid off newer cars, and my husband has a $5 million trust that we haven’t touched. We have one kid in private at $50K and two younger kids, one of whom is in half-day preschool, and we pay for a nanny and summer camps and activities throughout the year and we ask ourselves if we’re lighting money on fire with private and feel like we are even though our oldest child loves the school she’s at. And we are always talking about how we’re the poorest people there. When we see people driving Subarus like us we get excited. When we realize someone doesn’t like in a $4-5 million beautifully furnished mansion we get excited because we feel less alone. My daughter’s classmates went to St. Barths, Peru, Park City, and France on spring break (she is in PreK). Can you imagine paying for two private school tuitions next year and feeling so good about money that you go to Peru on an Amazon meets ancient civilizations getaway for two weeks with your two basically pre-memory children? Oh and they flew first class so the kids could have reclined seats and sleep (of course).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No can't afford it.

Just my salary alone (guaranteed income) is higher than your HHI and I don't even count our stock income. We send our kids to public school and bought our house well below what we "can" afford.

Wow what a greedy lousy parent you are. I'll be you drive a $100K car and travel to Europe every year too. But can't afford private school. Your poor kids.

I never said I can't afford private school for my kids. I choose not to, because I like to spend my money where there is value and good return on my investment. My kids go to very good public schools. I am a product of public school system myself and I don't think I was disserviced by it. I just don't buy into the notion that private schools are necessarily better.

We try to spend our money wisely, make investments, and take care of our kids and their future in other ways. Yes, we take European vacations as a family. I think it is important for my kids to learn about different cultures and be exposed to different ways of thinking. But no, I am not materialist and selfish as you seem to suggest.

There really is no such thing anymore. Yes, you may have gone to good public schools, but those same schools have deteriorated in the past several years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No can't afford it.

Just my salary alone (guaranteed income) is higher than your HHI and I don't even count our stock income. We send our kids to public school and bought our house well below what we "can" afford.

Wow what a greedy lousy parent you are. I'll be you drive a $100K car and travel to Europe every year too. But can't afford private school. Your poor kids.

I never said I can't afford private school for my kids. I choose not to, because I like to spend my money where there is value and good return on my investment. My kids go to very good public schools. I am a product of public school system myself and I don't think I was disserviced by it. I just don't buy into the notion that private schools are necessarily better.

We try to spend our money wisely, make investments, and take care of our kids and their future in other ways. Yes, we take European vacations as a family. I think it is important for my kids to learn about different cultures and be exposed to different ways of thinking. But no, I am not materialist and selfish as you seem to suggest.

You’re fine. PP is just a jealous loser who makes less than you and stretches to send her kids to private. She can’t stand it when more successful people don’t validate her decision to send her kids to private, and she’ll throw a bigger fit when her kids get into worse colleges than all the public school kids.

I am the PP and yes, we did sacrifice initially, but our HHI is very very high now and our net worth is over $10M. So no, not jealous at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No can't afford it.

Just my salary alone (guaranteed income) is higher than your HHI and I don't even count our stock income. We send our kids to public school and bought our house well below what we "can" afford.

Wow what a greedy lousy parent you are. I'll be you drive a $100K car and travel to Europe every year too. But can't afford private school. Your poor kids.

I never said I can't afford private school for my kids. I choose not to, because I like to spend my money where there is value and good return on my investment. My kids go to very good public schools. I am a product of public school system myself and I don't think I was disserviced by it. I just don't buy into the notion that private schools are necessarily better.

We try to spend our money wisely, make investments, and take care of our kids and their future in other ways. Yes, we take European vacations as a family. I think it is important for my kids to learn about different cultures and be exposed to different ways of thinking. But no, I am not materialist and selfish as you seem to suggest.

You’re fine. PP is just a jealous loser who makes less than you and stretches to send her kids to private. She can’t stand it when more successful people don’t validate her decision to send her kids to private, and she’ll throw a bigger fit when her kids get into worse colleges than all the public school kids.

I am the PP and yes, we did sacrifice initially, but our HHI is very very high now and our net worth is over $10M. So no, not jealous at all.

PS oldest is a senior and got into a top 20.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just know that you will be among the poor people at the privates on your income (anything under $500K with two full-pay tuitions).

I realize this sounds ridiculous but it really, really, really is true. At these schools you have the financial aid families (who generally don't have a large social presence at the school as they are working, live further out, etc) and then the average incomes jumps to about $800K, easily.

Your entire social world will have more money than you do and will be living in homes, driving cars and vacationing to places that you can't afford.

I am not a materialistic person but I'm glad I didn't have to be immersed in this world for 13 years. We switched our kids for high school and they are okay with it but it rears it's head up in big and small ways. There are other kids who are never completely comfortable with it.

We came from public and are so incredibly glad that we still have our public school friends as they understand our world view, our budget, our upbringings, etc. It's hard to explain fully but almost everything in life is different if you are living off $400K (which again is an incredibly good salary) or $2 million.

This is so true. Our HHI is $760K and we’re mid-30s. Our PITI is $5.5K (950K equity with $900K mortgage), $1.2 million between brokerage and 401Ks, grandparents created trusts for our three kids for college, two paid off newer cars, and my husband has a $5 million trust that we haven’t touched. We have one kid in private at $50K and two younger kids, one of whom is in half-day preschool, and we pay for a nanny and summer camps and activities throughout the year and we ask ourselves if we’re lighting money on fire with private and feel like we are even though our oldest child loves the school she’s at. And we are always talking about how we’re the poorest people there. When we see people driving Subarus like us we get excited. When we realize someone doesn’t like in a $4-5 million beautifully furnished mansion we get excited because we feel less alone. My daughter’s classmates went to St. Barths, Peru, Park City, and France on spring break (she is in PreK). Can you imagine paying for two private school tuitions next year and feeling so good about money that you go to Peru on an Amazon meets ancient civilizations getaway for two weeks with your two basically pre-memory children? Oh and they flew first class so the kids could have reclined seats and sleep (of course).

The brand of the car does't matter. Your Subaru can be be $30K or 60K.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No can't afford it.

Just my salary alone (guaranteed income) is higher than your HHI and I don't even count our stock income. We send our kids to public school and bought our house well below what we "can" afford.

Wow what a greedy lousy parent you are. I'll be you drive a $100K car and travel to Europe every year too. But can't afford private school. Your poor kids.

I never said I can't afford private school for my kids. I choose not to, because I like to spend my money where there is value and good return on my investment. My kids go to very good public schools. I am a product of public school system myself and I don't think I was disserviced by it. I just don't buy into the notion that private schools are necessarily better.

We try to spend our money wisely, make investments, and take care of our kids and their future in other ways. Yes, we take European vacations as a family. I think it is important for my kids to learn about different cultures and be exposed to different ways of thinking. But no, I am not materialist and selfish as you seem to suggest.

You’re fine. PP is just a jealous loser who makes less than you and stretches to send her kids to private. She can’t stand it when more successful people don’t validate her decision to send her kids to private, and she’ll throw a bigger fit when her kids get into worse colleges than all the public school kids.

I am the PP and yes, we did sacrifice initially, but our HHI is very very high now and our net worth is over $10M. So no, not jealous at all.

PS oldest is a senior and got into a top 20.

Lol sure. I knew you’d post a pathetic and desperate response like this.

[Anonymous]

The type of school is only one of many factors that play into a child's success. At the top colleges, you'll find students who came from public schools as well as private ones. There are excellent and bad schools in both categories. Going to a private school doesn't guarantee a child's success in life. I got into an Ivy League school coming from a public high school in the deep South.

What I don't appreciate is someone telling me I am not making sacrifices for my kids based on the fact that I don't send them to private school. Or insinuating that I don't prioritize my kids. It is simply untrue, and you don't know me to make those type of statements.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No can't afford it.

Just my salary alone (guaranteed income) is higher than your HHI and I don't even count our stock income. We send our kids to public school and bought our house well below what we "can" afford.

Wow what a greedy lousy parent you are. I'll be you drive a $100K car and travel to Europe every year too. But can't afford private school. Your poor kids.

I never said I can't afford private school for my kids. I choose not to, because I like to spend my money where there is value and good return on my investment. My kids go to very good public schools. I am a product of public school system myself and I don't think I was disserviced by it. I just don't buy into the notion that private schools are necessarily better.

We try to spend our money wisely, make investments, and take care of our kids and their future in other ways. Yes, we take European vacations as a family. I think it is important for my kids to learn about different cultures and be exposed to different ways of thinking. But no, I am not materialist and selfish as you seem to suggest.

You’re fine. PP is just a jealous loser who makes less than you and stretches to send her kids to private. She can’t stand it when more successful people don’t validate her decision to send her kids to private, and she’ll throw a bigger fit when her kids get into worse colleges than all the public school kids.

I am the PP and yes, we did sacrifice initially, but our HHI is very very high now and our net worth is over $10M. So no, not jealous at all.

PS oldest is a senior and got into a top 20.

That's nice. Around us most of the private school kids are going to Tech and JMU, same as the public school kids. And if your kid actually goes to a T20, they probably would have gotten in from public too.

[Anonymous]

Agree it is crazy to insinuate that people who send their kids to public don't prioritize their kids. I spend a lot of time and money ensuring my kids are still challenged despite being at a public school and put the money I would otherwise be spending on private school tuition into a brokerage account with the aim of giving them the money at some point (right now it is over $1M). We still live in a small house and drive basic cars.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No can't afford it.

Just my salary alone (guaranteed income) is higher than your HHI and I don't even count our stock income. We send our kids to public school and bought our house well below what we "can" afford.

Wow what a greedy lousy parent you are. I'll be you drive a $100K car and travel to Europe every year too. But can't afford private school. Your poor kids.

I went to both public and private school growing up and my own experience is that private is a big waste of money. Buy a house in a good public district and call it a day. It’s ultimately up to your kid to succeed or fail. I’ve lost count on how many private school kids turned out to be duds.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No can't afford it.

Just my salary alone (guaranteed income) is higher than your HHI and I don't even count our stock income. We send our kids to public school and bought our house well below what we "can" afford.

Wow what a greedy lousy parent you are. I'll be you drive a $100K car and travel to Europe every year too. But can't afford private school. Your poor kids.

I went to both public and private school growing up and my own experience is that private is a big waste of money. Buy a house in a good public district and call it a day. It’s ultimately up to your kid to succeed or fail. I’ve lost count on how many private school kids turned out to be duds.

Good school district is code for an expensive house with rich families. Op has done that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No can't afford it.

Just my salary alone (guaranteed income) is higher than your HHI and I don't even count our stock income. We send our kids to public school and bought our house well below what we "can" afford.

Wow what a greedy lousy parent you are. I'll be you drive a $100K car and travel to Europe every year too. But can't afford private school. Your poor kids.

I went to both public and private school growing up and my own experience is that private is a big waste of money. Buy a house in a good public district and call it a day. It’s ultimately up to your kid to succeed or fail. I’ve lost count on how many private school kids turned out to be duds.

Good school district is code for an expensive house with rich families. Op has done that.

OP’s house is not at all expensive for this area.

[Anonymous]

[img]

Anonymous wrote:Denied! You cannot afford it.
Your mortgage is too high.
Your 401k is low.
Your 529s is low.
Your HSA is low.
Your brokerage account is low
Your cash/emergency fund is low.

Everything is low and you are thinking about spending 45K/y on private schools?
This is nuts! This is reckless and crazy.

🤣🤣🤣🤓

I’m not Suze but I’m a proponent of private school in DC/MD starting in middle school. Try to find an elementary school that ends at 6th grade. They can afford it if they save a few years worth in the 529 first and start at middle school not k-6. Thug life doesn’t start in pk4 so they’ll be fine in elementary.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would save aggressively in the 529s (meaning - the $45k you were planning on spending next year for the 5 year old goes directly to 529s instead) and start each of them in public, with the plan to switch them to private in middle school or sooner if public doesn't work for your particular kid.

You can use the 529 money for private school when you need it, you'll save money over all, and the inherent volatility of the stock payment schedule will stress you out less if your savings are bulked up and you can weather downturns.

+1 op this is the plan