Can we afford $45k/year private for 2 kids? Stats included

[Anonymous]

This will probably work out just fine, but if you and DH are laid off on your 40s or 50s and find yourselves the victims of age discrimination, you may find you wish you had that tuition money. So just be careful to keep saving until you have a bigger cushion.

[Anonymous]

Your expenses are very high. Remember you have to sell rsu or pay cash for them when they vest. And, if you are tech most jobs and salaries go up and down and they fire folks on whims.

[Anonymous]

Just know that you will be among the poor people at the privates on your income (anything under $500K with two full-pay tuitions).

I realize this sounds ridiculous but it really, really, really is true. At these schools you have the financial aid families (who generally don't have a large social presence at the school as they are working, live further out, etc) and then the average incomes jumps to about $800K, easily.

Your entire social world will have more money than you do and will be living in homes, driving cars and vacationing to places that you can't afford.

I am not a materialistic person but I'm glad I didn't have to be immersed in this world for 13 years. We switched our kids for high school and they are okay with it but it rears it's head up in big and small ways. There are other kids who are never completely comfortable with it.

We came from public and are so incredibly glad that we still have our public school friends as they understand our world view, our budget, our upbringings, etc. It's hard to explain fully but almost everything in life is different if you are living off $400K (which again is an incredibly good salary) or $2 million.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just know that you will be among the poor people at the privates on your income (anything under $500K with two full-pay tuitions).

I realize this sounds ridiculous but it really, really, really is true. At these schools you have the financial aid families (who generally don't have a large social presence at the school as they are working, live further out, etc) and then the average incomes jumps to about $800K, easily.

Your entire social world will have more money than you do and will be living in homes, driving cars and vacationing to places that you can't afford.

I am not a materialistic person but I'm glad I didn't have to be immersed in this world for 13 years. We switched our kids for high school and they are okay with it but it rears it's head up in big and small ways. There are other kids who are never completely comfortable with it.

We came from public and are so incredibly glad that we still have our public school friends as they understand our world view, our budget, our upbringings, etc. It's hard to explain fully but almost everything in life is different if you are living off $400K (which again is an incredibly good salary) or $2 million.

I'm curious, did you feel ostracized by anyone for having a lower HHI? Were you able to network with the other parents?

[Anonymous]

OP has a very high income. It's all lifestyle choices. They can comfortably afford it if they made different choices. They live in a $1.5 million dollar or more house, nanny, fancy cars... that is the problem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP has a very high income. It's all lifestyle choices. They can comfortably afford it if they made different choices. They live in a $1.5 million dollar or more house, nanny, fancy cars... that is the problem.

Op here. We have no car loans so not sure why our cars are the problem?

And we are able to cash flow the nanny completely fine, which is substantially more than the second child’s tuition would be.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP has a very high income. It's all lifestyle choices. They can comfortably afford it if they made different choices. They live in a $1.5 million dollar or more house, nanny, fancy cars... that is the problem.

Op here. We have no car loans so not sure why our cars are the problem?

And we are able to cash flow the nanny completely fine, which is substantially more than the second child’s tuition would be.

You are spending every dollar you make and may not be able to keep up that kind of salary especially if you are in tech. You also don't get you have to pay taxes immediately upon vesting RSU's which takes a huge chunk of money. If you want to do it, go for it and why ask here? I'd do it but I wouldn't have such high expenses and stuff.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just know that you will be among the poor people at the privates on your income (anything under $500K with two full-pay tuitions).

I realize this sounds ridiculous but it really, really, really is true. At these schools you have the financial aid families (who generally don't have a large social presence at the school as they are working, live further out, etc) and then the average incomes jumps to about $800K, easily.

Your entire social world will have more money than you do and will be living in homes, driving cars and vacationing to places that you can't afford.

I am not a materialistic person but I'm glad I didn't have to be immersed in this world for 13 years. We switched our kids for high school and they are okay with it but it rears it's head up in big and small ways. There are other kids who are never completely comfortable with it.

We came from public and are so incredibly glad that we still have our public school friends as they understand our world view, our budget, our upbringings, etc. It's hard to explain fully but almost everything in life is different if you are living off $400K (which again is an incredibly good salary) or $2 million.

I'm curious, did you feel ostracized by anyone for having a lower HHI? Were you able to network with the other parents?

OP has a very high income. That's really not an issue.

[Anonymous]

With your kids still very young, you may not be expecting the kid expenses on top of tuition that you may have in a few years. I have a 10 year old and this year we'll spend around 20k on activities for them--this isn't travel, just one sport, one instrument, occasional talk therapy, and a couple of day camps in the summer. I expect this number to rise as they enter middle school and high school. My kid is happy and I'm grateful they have interests they want to pursue, but it's definitely a substantial expense for us. Just something to consider as people who make great salaries relatively speaking but not the stratospheric incomes common at private schools.

[Anonymous]

No can't afford it.

Just my salary alone (guaranteed income) is higher than your HHI and I don't even count our stock income. We send our kids to public school and bought our house well below what we "can" afford.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No can't afford it.

Just my salary alone (guaranteed income) is higher than your HHI and I don't even count our stock income. We send our kids to public school and bought our house well below what we "can" afford.

Wow what a greedy lousy parent you are. I'll be you drive a $100K car and travel to Europe every year too. But can't afford private school. Your poor kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No can't afford it.

Just my salary alone (guaranteed income) is higher than your HHI and I don't even count our stock income. We send our kids to public school and bought our house well below what we "can" afford.

Wow what a greedy lousy parent you are. I'll be you drive a $100K car and travel to Europe every year too. But can't afford private school. Your poor kids.

Exactly...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No can't afford it.

Just my salary alone (guaranteed income) is higher than your HHI and I don't even count our stock income. We send our kids to public school and bought our house well below what we "can" afford.

Wow what a greedy lousy parent you are. I'll be you drive a $100K car and travel to Europe every year too. But can't afford private school. Your poor kids.

Exactly...

This is exactly what we would want to avoid. Our priority is education, and we couldn’t look ourselves in the mirror to have some big upgraded house, country club membership, etc but have kids in public.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No can't afford it.

Just my salary alone (guaranteed income) is higher than your HHI and I don't even count our stock income. We send our kids to public school and bought our house well below what we "can" afford.

Wow what a greedy lousy parent you are. I'll be you drive a $100K car and travel to Europe every year too. But can't afford private school. Your poor kids.

I never said I can't afford private school for my kids. I choose not to, because I like to spend my money where there is value and good return on my investment. My kids go to very good public schools. I am a product of public school system myself and I don't think I was disserviced by it. I just don't buy into the notion that private schools are necessarily better.

We try to spend our money wisely, make investments, and take care of our kids and their future in other ways. Yes, we take European vacations as a family. I think it is important for my kids to learn about different cultures and be exposed to different ways of thinking. But no, I am not materialist and selfish as you seem to suggest.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No can't afford it.

Just my salary alone (guaranteed income) is higher than your HHI and I don't even count our stock income. We send our kids to public school and bought our house well below what we "can" afford.

Wow what a greedy lousy parent you are. I'll be you drive a $100K car and travel to Europe every year too. But can't afford private school. Your poor kids.

I never said I can't afford private school for my kids. I choose not to, because I like to spend my money where there is value and good return on my investment. My kids go to very good public schools. I am a product of public school system myself and I don't think I was disserviced by it. I just don't buy into the notion that private schools are necessarily better.

We try to spend our money wisely, make investments, and take care of our kids and their future in other ways. Yes, we take European vacations as a family. I think it is important for my kids to learn about different cultures and be exposed to different ways of thinking. But no, I am not materialist and selfish as you seem to suggest.

You’re fine. PP is just a jealous loser who makes less than you and stretches to send her kids to private. She can’t stand it when more successful people don’t validate her decision to send her kids to private, and she’ll throw a bigger fit when her kids get into worse colleges than all the public school kids.