You have to let him play video games. He’ll be a social outcast.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DS is 11 and in 5th grade and plays video games, apparently to the horror of a lot of you. He got a Switch about 3 years ago and until recently was just playing on his own - on weekend only and/or around 30 minutes at night. Several months ago I finally allowed him to get Fortnite, with every parental control on basically. To be honest, it's made a massive difference, for the good. He was the only one - in his sporty, popular friend group - without it and now he isn't left out of a lot of things. I'm not here to debate the merits of that, it's simply how things work in our school/town. In moderation it's fine. He also plays multiple sports, an instrument, reads every night and is in Scouts. So it's possible to have a healthy balance.

Great job snowplowing

Thank you! I appreciate the compliment.

[Anonymous]

Holy shit

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Does anyone watch Minimal Mom on YouTube? I’m a very casual viewer and she recently had a guest on from an org called Screenstrong. The guest basically said there is no healthy amount of video games and the more you delay or eliminate them (and smart phones), the better. She recommended getting the kid into an instrument. I laughed, but it’s true so far for me. Mine takes strings and between weekly lesson and daily practice, he isn’t really siting around to be able to bemoan the missing video games.

My DS had no aptitude for musical instruments. His sister played and was really into it, but he was really into screens. Sometimes you can't easily control your kids' interests, so I think it's better to set reasonable guardrails/expectations.

I think those kids not into video games can be nerdy, but that's OK. We parent the kids we have, not the kids we would have preferred.

For the OP, start out with no video games, but do listen to your son and communicate with him about his needs.

I dont think it has to be music. The point is to help your children find passions that aren’t based around video games and social media. Could be a sport, chess, robotics, math, whatever.

[Anonymous]

We have a community center that has a video game room. Maybe look into that? My boys love it . We pay $5 and only go occasionally. DH is adamant about no having them. Both of us grew up not playing videos games.

[Anonymous]

Depravation only makes them want it more.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Depravation only makes them want it more.

Tale as old as time. Parents never learn.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Depravation only makes them want it more.

Tale as old as time. Parents never learn.

I guess if your kid is begging for it that’s a different story, but for our kids it’s out of sight out of mind. They fill their time other ways and don’t feel deprived of video games.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Depravation only makes them want it more.

Tale as old as time. Parents never learn.

Kids learn. Brains develop, including better self-regulation.

I assume you don’t allow your child drugs. With your mindset, perhaps you should…just a little heroin….afterall, you don’t want to parent, I mean deprive them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Depravation only makes them want it more.

Tale as old as time. Parents never learn.

Kids learn. Brains develop, including better self-regulation.

I assume you don’t allow your child drugs. With your mindset, perhaps you should…just a little heroin….afterall, you don’t want to parent, I mean deprive them.

+1000

[Anonymous]

Nope, you don't have to. We have never gotten any gaming systems and our kids are just fine. One son is an adult, one is in middle school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:YMMV but for us the physical switch console is much less addictive and easier to monitor than Roblox or other PC games. Roblox was introduced by a teacher during Covid and I wish we had never allowed it (have since taken it away). We are able to limit the games available on the switch, we don’t allow multiplayer with people who are not physically present at our house with the other controller, the console stays docked in our family room. Plus the Mario and Zelda games can be stopped and picked up whenever. There aren’t “streaks” and other weird features designed to get my kid addicted.

Same poster. Sorry, I should add that, to your question, no none of our son’s peers do NO video games whatsoever. My advice would be to focus on avoiding excessive/early PC and smartphone usage (YouTube, TikTok, Roblox etc) rather than myopically focusing on avoiding video games. For us, the compromise was the console.

+1 We have had a similar experience with DCs playing on consoles vs PCs/ipads. Kids had screen time allowances when they were gaming via PCs and ipads, but it always turned into an argument. During the pandemic (when both were in MS) it seemed like a reasonable and safe option to "play" with friends. But we got tired of constantly monitoring screen times--which somehow failed to work consistently, especially after updates--and DH convinced me to buy a console. Obviously kids are older now, but there's something different vis a vis addiction level when they are playing game via a console vs alone in their rooms with the ipad/PC. For the people who are "we are no screens and our kid is 10" smug, just wait a few years. Kids--especially boys--play video games in MS. I'm not a huge fan, but I preferred to the terrible modern world stuff my DD got into in MS.

Phones are very different. We gave eldest a phone in 7th and it was the single biggest parenting mistake we could have made. Did not make that mistake with other children. Again, there's something far more addictive about the ipad/phone that TV or video game consoles.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do I really need to buy a video game console and let DS play video games in my house? I don’t enforce whether he plays at friends’ houses but I know a lot of his friends have Switches and PS consoles.

Has anyone (in recent times) done no video games? I’m hoping to do zero games for as long as possible and maybe put off the cell phone for later middle school or early high school.

No video games at all at our house. Neither parents nor kids. No TV until 2nd grade. No one is addicted.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Depravation only makes them want it more.

Not for us. Out of sight so out of mind.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Does anyone watch Minimal Mom on YouTube? I’m a very casual viewer and she recently had a guest on from an org called Screenstrong. The guest basically said there is no healthy amount of video games and the more you delay or eliminate them (and smart phones), the better. She recommended getting the kid into an instrument. I laughed, but it’s true so far for me. Mine takes strings and between weekly lesson and daily practice, he isn’t really siting around to be able to bemoan the missing video games.

My kid plays an instrument, a travel sport, a rec sport, is in scouts, is in advanced classes at school, plays lots of pickup sports with friends, takes lots of family vacations, etc. and … plays video games. I don’t understand the mindset that being busy with activities is the antithesis to video games because plenty of well rounded kids can do all of the above.

In fact I think screen time adds positives to our lives because my kid has been learning some beginner computer coding through games on the computer. He also uses the iPad to make his own stop motion films, some using story lines from his video games (where he is collaboratively building online worlds with friends).

Gaming can be incredibly creative and it is a huge industry with lots of career opportunities (I mean even something like composing the music for them). I will continue to encourage my kid to explore lots of interests.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Does anyone watch Minimal Mom on YouTube? I’m a very casual viewer and she recently had a guest on from an org called Screenstrong. The guest basically said there is no healthy amount of video games and the more you delay or eliminate them (and smart phones), the better. She recommended getting the kid into an instrument. I laughed, but it’s true so far for me. Mine takes strings and between weekly lesson and daily practice, he isn’t really siting around to be able to bemoan the missing video games.

My DS had no aptitude for musical instruments. His sister played and was really into it, but he was really into screens. Sometimes you can't easily control your kids' interests, so I think it's better to set reasonable guardrails/expectations.

I think those kids not into video games can be nerdy, but that's OK. We parent the kids we have, not the kids we would have preferred.

For the OP, start out with no video games, but do listen to your son and communicate with him about his needs.

I dont think it has to be music. The point is to help your children find passions that aren’t based around video games and social media. Could be a sport, chess, robotics, math, whatever.

Do you think kids who play video games can’t have other passions? Like if you play video games for a few hours per week you can’t play soccer and chess also?

Some of you are really out of touch. The stereotype of the weird basement gamer who can’t talk to girls is so outdated. Lots of athletic, popular boys play video games.