She needs to make up her mind. Her OP is all smily green emoji and "LMAO" but now you're saying she is really hurt. Which is it? Doesn't seem like she likes these women at all why would she expect to be included? |
+1 |
Lol at all the people scolding the meanies on this thread. This is dcum, the 4chan of upper class urbanites.
Put away your phone and go outside, it's a beautiful day. |
You first, scold. |
I'm addicted to my phone and inexplicably drawn to this forum like a mosquito to zapper light, just like you. We are one. I am, however, a bit more self aware |
No, it does not. These groups actually expand and solidify. The DC will join the same travel teams with dad coaches. Carpools form. Then exclusive sport specific summer training camps. Girls Weekends. Multi-Family Vacations. Social engineering: the DC will take each other to Homecoming, Prom. Parents will join same church. Parents will host huge parties for each other (40th/50th). Kids will serve as bartenders. DCs will be the Mean Girls/Guys. |
That's what you think, but obviously not. |
It only bothers you if you let it. Find your own friends and group and then you won't notice. |
See I’m not hearing that at all. sounds like the knew they were being exclusionary and it was obvious. If anything cracking a joke about it diffuses the awareness. |
OP, if I had any connection to these women, I would have been a little upset, too. These cliques, groups, friendships, what have you, are largely of convenience because the only thing you have in common is your kids. My real friends are those I’ve had for years and through work and other interests. I can’t tell you how many “mom friends” can’t muster up a simple hello once the kids have grown. |
I am so glad that this is not actually true where I live. This is a small town or very insular suburb thing. My kids are not going to go to high school with the exact same group of kids they rode the bus with in early elementary, and everyone in my community has broader horizons than what you describe here. |
I’ll never understand people who think any group of friends is a clique, and that everybody has to be invited to everything. If you have a dinner party with 3 other couples, are you a clique because you didn’t invite every couple you know? If you have a sleepover and only invite 2 kids, are they a clique? No. Get a grip. |
How many people have to be invited to not be exclusionary? The whole class? Entire grade? All school? What is the rule here you seem to be applying? |
Very much agree with this. I have mom friends, but those friendships are more fragile because they were formed based on having kids the same age or in the same grade/class. That by itself can be tricky to navigate because it means your kids are going through stuff at the same time and you have to be careful with comparison/competition (which even non-competitive people can fall into with kids). But even if you get through that no problem, if the kids grow apart, do you actually stay friends? Usually not really, you just fade to acquaintance because the underlying connection was purely based on the kids and without that, you might not have enough to sustain a friendship. It's normal. But my friends from before I had kids are still my friends and will be whether are kids are friends are not (our kids are all slightly different ages and all go to different schools, so we encourage them to be friendly enough to play if the families get together, but we don't force close friendships -- they are like cousins in this way). This is why it's good not to make your social life revolve around your kids. |
The only problem is that yours is not a mom clique story. It’s a you being weird story. |