Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:So many people on here are all "think of what you're role modeling for the children if you're not affectionate / don't love each other / are playing pleasant for the children!!!"
Yes ideally all children would have parents that are married, communicate well, love each other, model great boundaries etc etc etc. But the reality is that's a small % of marriages with young children
Do you divorce if you're not that b/c you're not role modelling an ideal marriage for the kids?
Well I just texted a mom about a playdate with her daughter this weekend. She said it's the dad's weekend. The dad said he's out of town but to text the step mom. The step mom said it sounded fun but she didn't feel like the drive and it might mess up her toddlers nap time so no thanks.
Is this devastating to their kid? No. I'm sure you could argue that its great for the girl to learn to compromise. But she has new babies in both families and those families are both oriented around their full time kids instead of adapting the baby into the existing (part time) kids needs. Lets not minimize the impact of new spouses and new kids and lots of competing priorities and hierarchies of importance on a kids life. That truly can be more damaging to kids than parents stay together as platonic roommates instead of romantic partners. When second marriages have an even higher divorce rate we think thats providing a better model?
And I say this as a person who wished her parents would divorce each other when I was in high school bc they so clearly hated each other and the tension was so high
I don't know what you are thinking.
Nothing you wrote makes sense.
I grew up in a house where my parents stayed together for the "kids" absolute fail.
My brother and his wife did this and they ruined their only child.