Therapist filed report with CPS, should I inform husband?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:While details would be helpful, I'd fire your therapist

Sounds like ditching the husband would be more appropriate if he’s committing reportable acts.

Therapist has a right and duty to report, but she broke patient confidence. I would never again trust him/her.

Wrong they are mandatory reporters whatever OP told them is fair game in that instance

Team kids over these two dumbass crappy parents.

Yelling at your kid is not reportable. Op isn’t describing incest or violence. Therapist is out of line.

Yup. Most therapists are not very bright and not good at their jobs to begin with. Why is everyone so quick to decide that if some random therapist decides whatever behavior she’s hearing described second hand is “reportable” then it automatically means OP and her husband are crappy, abusive parents? (They might be, don’t get me wrong, but the therapist might just be a meddling idiot.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:While details would be helpful, I'd fire your therapist

Sounds like ditching the husband would be more appropriate if he’s committing reportable acts.

Therapist has a right and duty to report, but she broke patient confidence. I would never again trust him/her.

Any responsible therapist is going to break patience confidence after hearing evidence of CHILD ABUSE!

OP if you like your therapist you might as well stay with them, they are a responsible MANDATED REPORTER and they may be able to help you get your head out of you anus, stop being codependent and start protecting your child(ren) from CHILD ABUSE.

From what the OP had described, there was no abuse.

The OP is lying to us - if the therapist reported to CPS it was because OP disclosed something that meets the mandated reporter’s obligation, i.e., child abuse.

I know a thing or two about this, I am a former prosecutor who filed hundreds of petitions to remove children or formally intervene with their families and I put plenty of child abusers in prison, too.

HALF OF ALL CHILDREN ON THIS PLANET HAVE EXPERIENCED VIOLENCE.

HALF OF ALL CHILDREN.

Sure, some of them live in places where there is ongoing conflict or war and that’s the violence they have experienced.

But far more of them have experienced violence at the hands of ‘mommy’ and ‘daddy.’ And yes, an adult screaming at a child on a regular basis as their routine parenting is ABUSE.

Emotional abuse is every bit as damaging - and longer lasting - than most physical abuse. Beyond that, most parents who cannot control themselves and resort to routinely screaming at their kids have also used physical force that is unacceptable and anyone who is that emotionally unstable has the potential to snap and hit a child with extreme force.

I don’t tolerate excusing this kind of ‘parenting’ which is not parenting at all.

I’ve been sick with a bad respiratory infection the last two weeks and I spent much of my time laid up watching the trial of Adam Montgomery, who lost his shit and punched his 5 year old daughter in the head for wetting her pants. She died, and he carried her body around for months before dismembering her and throwing her away like garbage.

I cannot fathom screaming at a child. It’s traumatizing to a child to be screamed at by the people upon whom they rely for basic survival. You think a child being screamed at doesn’t wonder what else that ‘parent’ might do?

Anyone who excuses this kind of sick breeder behavior needs their head examined. Shame on all of you who do it and think it’s okay.

STOP. IT.

This ridiculous attitude is EXACTLY the problem. In your own simpering post you are conflating yelling at your kids (and I assume spanking your kids) with kids living through WAR or being PUNCHED IN THE HEAD and subsequently DISMEMBERED!

These things are NOT THE SAME. They are not even CLOSE. Being a “former prosecutor” doesn’t actually make you an expert on ANY of what you are blathering on about, you absolute ninny. I’m sure you’ve helped a few kids who needed help, but I’m also willing to bet that you’ve harmed some kids who didn’t need you messing with their families because you think life is a Disney movie.

Stop 1) wasting CPS’s time with calls of “abuse” over (however much you dislike it) completely normal parental behavior and 2) ACTUALLY traumatizing kids who are completely safe and fine by having them removed (even temporarily) from their loving families because YOU don’t like it when kids get yelled at.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is a category of abuse called neglect. If the husband’s punishments include not just yelling but things like deprivation of food, denying warm clothing on a cold day (ie if you lose that coat I am not buying you another), locking a kid in their room, taking all the covers off the bed for a week, turning off electricity in the house, turning off heat etc. then that’s why she called. We had parents who never hit us but were masters of neglect. I suspect this may be the story

Sorry but “if you lose that coat I am not buying you another” is not neglect. It’s natural consequences.

It’s absolutely neglect.

You’re an idiot. Probably a mandated reporter, too, so everyone watch out! Parenting your kids is neglect these days if some power tripping doofus decides it is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:While details would be helpful, I'd fire your therapist

Sounds like ditching the husband would be more appropriate if he’s committing reportable acts.

Therapist has a right and duty to report, but she broke patient confidence. I would never again trust him/her.

Any responsible therapist is going to break patience confidence after hearing evidence of CHILD ABUSE!

OP if you like your therapist you might as well stay with them, they are a responsible MANDATED REPORTER and they may be able to help you get your head out of you anus, stop being codependent and start protecting your child(ren) from CHILD ABUSE.

From what the OP had described, there was no abuse.

The OP is lying to us - if the therapist reported to CPS it was because OP disclosed something that meets the mandated reporter’s obligation, i.e., child abuse.

I know a thing or two about this, I am a former prosecutor who filed hundreds of petitions to remove children or formally intervene with their families and I put plenty of child abusers in prison, too.

HALF OF ALL CHILDREN ON THIS PLANET HAVE EXPERIENCED VIOLENCE.

HALF OF ALL CHILDREN.

Sure, some of them live in places where there is ongoing conflict or war and that’s the violence they have experienced.

But far more of them have experienced violence at the hands of ‘mommy’ and ‘daddy.’ And yes, an adult screaming at a child on a regular basis as their routine parenting is ABUSE.

Emotional abuse is every bit as damaging - and longer lasting - than most physical abuse. Beyond that, most parents who cannot control themselves and resort to routinely screaming at their kids have also used physical force that is unacceptable and anyone who is that emotionally unstable has the potential to snap and hit a child with extreme force.

I don’t tolerate excusing this kind of ‘parenting’ which is not parenting at all.

I’ve been sick with a bad respiratory infection the last two weeks and I spent much of my time laid up watching the trial of Adam Montgomery, who lost his shit and punched his 5 year old daughter in the head for wetting her pants. She died, and he carried her body around for months before dismembering her and throwing her away like garbage.

I cannot fathom screaming at a child. It’s traumatizing to a child to be screamed at by the people upon whom they rely for basic survival. You think a child being screamed at doesn’t wonder what else that ‘parent’ might do?

Anyone who excuses this kind of sick breeder behavior needs their head examined. Shame on all of you who do it and think it’s okay.

You had me until the screaming part.

All moms scream at their kids at one point or another, literally all of us. We do it because we repeat the same things nicely, quietly, over and over but our kids ignore us until we scream it. Boom! As soon as I scream something my kids listen. I don’t scream until I’ve repeated the same thing at least twenty times. “Johnny, it’s time to go practice piano.” Johnny’s watching tv or playing video games. “Come on Johnny, my love, it’s time for piano…..” It’d be the next morning before little Johnny stopped playing x-box and started playing the piano if I didn’t scream.

We all succumb to it eventually. It’s true for almost every nice mom I know. And if it’s not the mom. It’s the dad. Because kids like to ignore us when they don’t feel like listening.

I don’t believe that you have any experience with kids at all. You’re a liar and a judgmental dumb one at that. “Breeder behavior,” you’re kidding, right? You mean “parenting?”

I have literally never screamed, yelled or even raised my voice at my children. My youngest is 14. I agree with pp that it is abusive. From a parenting perspective, when you argue with or raise your voice to your child, you diminish your authority. Plus, you have poor emotional regulation. I know teens are difficult, but that's when you need authority and a good record with them. I can't imagine yelling at a young child. Pp, you need to revise your statement because there are parents who absolutely do not yell at their kids.

I second this. I have never, ever, not once yelled at my kids or even raised my voice. It is entirely unnecessary to be a good parent. Shame on you for not having better skills.

Either your children are incredibly naturally well-behaved, or they are absolute nightmares to those around them. Unfortunately, in the former case, they have a good chance of being practically non-functional with anxiety as adults.

I second THIS. It’s amazing that some people can manage to raise multiple kids without realizing at some point that all kids are different. With different personalities, needs, desires, and responses. I have three kids and I have literally never yelled or raised my voice with TWO of them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:While details would be helpful, I'd fire your therapist

Sounds like ditching the husband would be more appropriate if he’s committing reportable acts.

Therapist has a right and duty to report, but she broke patient confidence. I would never again trust him/her.

Any responsible therapist is going to break patience confidence after hearing evidence of CHILD ABUSE!

OP if you like your therapist you might as well stay with them, they are a responsible MANDATED REPORTER and they may be able to help you get your head out of you anus, stop being codependent and start protecting your child(ren) from CHILD ABUSE.

From what the OP had described, there was no abuse.

The OP is lying to us - if the therapist reported to CPS it was because OP disclosed something that meets the mandated reporter’s obligation, i.e., child abuse.

I know a thing or two about this, I am a former prosecutor who filed hundreds of petitions to remove children or formally intervene with their families and I put plenty of child abusers in prison, too.

HALF OF ALL CHILDREN ON THIS PLANET HAVE EXPERIENCED VIOLENCE.

HALF OF ALL CHILDREN.

Sure, some of them live in places where there is ongoing conflict or war and that’s the violence they have experienced.

But far more of them have experienced violence at the hands of ‘mommy’ and ‘daddy.’ And yes, an adult screaming at a child on a regular basis as their routine parenting is ABUSE.

Emotional abuse is every bit as damaging - and longer lasting - than most physical abuse. Beyond that, most parents who cannot control themselves and resort to routinely screaming at their kids have also used physical force that is unacceptable and anyone who is that emotionally unstable has the potential to snap and hit a child with extreme force.

I don’t tolerate excusing this kind of ‘parenting’ which is not parenting at all.

I’ve been sick with a bad respiratory infection the last two weeks and I spent much of my time laid up watching the trial of Adam Montgomery, who lost his shit and punched his 5 year old daughter in the head for wetting her pants. She died, and he carried her body around for months before dismembering her and throwing her away like garbage.

I cannot fathom screaming at a child. It’s traumatizing to a child to be screamed at by the people upon whom they rely for basic survival. You think a child being screamed at doesn’t wonder what else that ‘parent’ might do?

Anyone who excuses this kind of sick breeder behavior needs their head examined. Shame on all of you who do it and think it’s okay.

You had me until the screaming part.

All moms scream at their kids at one point or another, literally all of us. We do it because we repeat the same things nicely, quietly, over and over but our kids ignore us until we scream it. Boom! As soon as I scream something my kids listen. I don’t scream until I’ve repeated the same thing at least twenty times. “Johnny, it’s time to go practice piano.” Johnny’s watching tv or playing video games. “Come on Johnny, my love, it’s time for piano…..” It’d be the next morning before little Johnny stopped playing x-box and started playing the piano if I didn’t scream.

We all succumb to it eventually. It’s true for almost every nice mom I know. And if it’s not the mom. It’s the dad. Because kids like to ignore us when they don’t feel like listening.

I don’t believe that you have any experience with kids at all. You’re a liar and a judgmental dumb one at that. “Breeder behavior,” you’re kidding, right? You mean “parenting?”

I have literally never screamed, yelled or even raised my voice at my children. My youngest is 14. I agree with pp that it is abusive. From a parenting perspective, when you argue with or raise your voice to your child, you diminish your authority. Plus, you have poor emotional regulation. I know teens are difficult, but that's when you need authority and a good record with them. I can't imagine yelling at a young child. Pp, you need to revise your statement because there are parents who absolutely do not yell at their kids.

Thank you for this very funny comment. I literally laughed outloud. Not all kids are the same, you know that, right? You have perfect and compliant children, I get that. Not everyone does. Think a little beyond your smugness.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:While details would be helpful, I'd fire your therapist

Sounds like ditching the husband would be more appropriate if he’s committing reportable acts.

Therapist has a right and duty to report, but she broke patient confidence. I would never again trust him/her.

Any responsible therapist is going to break patience confidence after hearing evidence of CHILD ABUSE!

OP if you like your therapist you might as well stay with them, they are a responsible MANDATED REPORTER and they may be able to help you get your head out of you anus, stop being codependent and start protecting your child(ren) from CHILD ABUSE.

From what the OP had described, there was no abuse.

The OP is lying to us - if the therapist reported to CPS it was because OP disclosed something that meets the mandated reporter’s obligation, i.e., child abuse.

I know a thing or two about this, I am a former prosecutor who filed hundreds of petitions to remove children or formally intervene with their families and I put plenty of child abusers in prison, too.

HALF OF ALL CHILDREN ON THIS PLANET HAVE EXPERIENCED VIOLENCE.

HALF OF ALL CHILDREN.

Sure, some of them live in places where there is ongoing conflict or war and that’s the violence they have experienced.

But far more of them have experienced violence at the hands of ‘mommy’ and ‘daddy.’ And yes, an adult screaming at a child on a regular basis as their routine parenting is ABUSE.

Emotional abuse is every bit as damaging - and longer lasting - than most physical abuse. Beyond that, most parents who cannot control themselves and resort to routinely screaming at their kids have also used physical force that is unacceptable and anyone who is that emotionally unstable has the potential to snap and hit a child with extreme force.

I don’t tolerate excusing this kind of ‘parenting’ which is not parenting at all.

I’ve been sick with a bad respiratory infection the last two weeks and I spent much of my time laid up watching the trial of Adam Montgomery, who lost his shit and punched his 5 year old daughter in the head for wetting her pants. She died, and he carried her body around for months before dismembering her and throwing her away like garbage.

I cannot fathom screaming at a child. It’s traumatizing to a child to be screamed at by the people upon whom they rely for basic survival. You think a child being screamed at doesn’t wonder what else that ‘parent’ might do?

Anyone who excuses this kind of sick breeder behavior needs their head examined. Shame on all of you who do it and think it’s okay.

You had me until the screaming part.

All moms scream at their kids at one point or another, literally all of us. We do it because we repeat the same things nicely, quietly, over and over but our kids ignore us until we scream it. Boom! As soon as I scream something my kids listen. I don’t scream until I’ve repeated the same thing at least twenty times. “Johnny, it’s time to go practice piano.” Johnny’s watching tv or playing video games. “Come on Johnny, my love, it’s time for piano…..” It’d be the next morning before little Johnny stopped playing x-box and started playing the piano if I didn’t scream.

We all succumb to it eventually. It’s true for almost every nice mom I know. And if it’s not the mom. It’s the dad. Because kids like to ignore us when they don’t feel like listening.

I don’t believe that you have any experience with kids at all. You’re a liar and a judgmental dumb one at that. “Breeder behavior,” you’re kidding, right? You mean “parenting?”

I have literally never screamed, yelled or even raised my voice at my children. My youngest is 14. I agree with pp that it is abusive. From a parenting perspective, when you argue with or raise your voice to your child, you diminish your authority. Plus, you have poor emotional regulation. I know teens are difficult, but that's when you need authority and a good record with them. I can't imagine yelling at a young child. Pp, you need to revise your statement because there are parents who absolutely do not yell at their kids.

Thank you for this very funny comment. I literally laughed outloud. Not all kids are the same, you know that, right? You have perfect and compliant children, I get that. Not everyone does. Think a little beyond your smugness.

She was responding to a post that said "all moms scream at our kids, literally all of us". Maybe you should calm down about smugness. If you are not able to manage your children's behavior without "screaming" at them, I agree that the problem is with you, not your children. Not everyone struggles with that level of emotional regulation problem, including the PP.

As for the OP, I doubt she is posting exactly what she told her therapist. None of what she described, with that level of detail, is reportable. What is pretty common, however, is women married to men with anger management problems minimizing the problem to try to protect themselves and their children. On the one hand, I sympathize with OP going to therapy to get help and now fearing that the problem has been made worse. On the other hand, if the abuse described was serious enough to be reported, it sounds like the OP is not correctly assessing how much of a threat her husband actually is.

[Anonymous]

Move on. CPS is not going to get involved with this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: here - I won't give specific details but I will say that he does have a temper and gets angry and yells. I've been speaking to a therapist about marital and parenting problems hoping to get advice on how to improve things. What's frustrating is I'm not sure its helping and now I'm in a tough spot. My husband and I do not agree on how to discipline our child. He feels his way works but I feel like it's a bit severe. Now CPS is getting involved and I'm terrified.

Well, you're going to lose either your kids or your husband. If these are reportable incidents you are complicit in not protecting your child, which makes you a child abuser too, by neglect.

+1
OP only cares about her kids now that CPS may be involved?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Move on. CPS is not going to get involved with this.

+1. People have been watching too many movies if they think CPS is going to show up at your door with police officers and take your kids away because a therapist called them to report yelling.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:While details would be helpful, I'd fire your therapist

Sounds like ditching the husband would be more appropriate if he’s committing reportable acts.

Therapist has a right and duty to report, but she broke patient confidence. I would never again trust him/her.

Any responsible therapist is going to break patience confidence after hearing evidence of CHILD ABUSE!

OP if you like your therapist you might as well stay with them, they are a responsible MANDATED REPORTER and they may be able to help you get your head out of you anus, stop being codependent and start protecting your child(ren) from CHILD ABUSE.

From what the OP had described, there was no abuse.

The OP is lying to us - if the therapist reported to CPS it was because OP disclosed something that meets the mandated reporter’s obligation, i.e., child abuse.

I know a thing or two about this, I am a former prosecutor who filed hundreds of petitions to remove children or formally intervene with their families and I put plenty of child abusers in prison, too.

HALF OF ALL CHILDREN ON THIS PLANET HAVE EXPERIENCED VIOLENCE.

HALF OF ALL CHILDREN.

Sure, some of them live in places where there is ongoing conflict or war and that’s the violence they have experienced.

But far more of them have experienced violence at the hands of ‘mommy’ and ‘daddy.’ And yes, an adult screaming at a child on a regular basis as their routine parenting is ABUSE.

Emotional abuse is every bit as damaging - and longer lasting - than most physical abuse. Beyond that, most parents who cannot control themselves and resort to routinely screaming at their kids have also used physical force that is unacceptable and anyone who is that emotionally unstable has the potential to snap and hit a child with extreme force.

I don’t tolerate excusing this kind of ‘parenting’ which is not parenting at all.

I’ve been sick with a bad respiratory infection the last two weeks and I spent much of my time laid up watching the trial of Adam Montgomery, who lost his shit and punched his 5 year old daughter in the head for wetting her pants. She died, and he carried her body around for months before dismembering her and throwing her away like garbage.

I cannot fathom screaming at a child. It’s traumatizing to a child to be screamed at by the people upon whom they rely for basic survival. You think a child being screamed at doesn’t wonder what else that ‘parent’ might do?

Anyone who excuses this kind of sick breeder behavior needs their head examined. Shame on all of you who do it and think it’s okay.

You had me until the screaming part.

All moms scream at their kids at one point or another, literally all of us. We do it because we repeat the same things nicely, quietly, over and over but our kids ignore us until we scream it. Boom! As soon as I scream something my kids listen. I don’t scream until I’ve repeated the same thing at least twenty times. “Johnny, it’s time to go practice piano.” Johnny’s watching tv or playing video games. “Come on Johnny, my love, it’s time for piano…..” It’d be the next morning before little Johnny stopped playing x-box and started playing the piano if I didn’t scream.

We all succumb to it eventually. It’s true for almost every nice mom I know. And if it’s not the mom. It’s the dad. Because kids like to ignore us when they don’t feel like listening.

I don’t believe that you have any experience with kids at all. You’re a liar and a judgmental dumb one at that. “Breeder behavior,” you’re kidding, right? You mean “parenting?”

I have literally never screamed, yelled or even raised my voice at my children. My youngest is 14. I agree with pp that it is abusive. From a parenting perspective, when you argue with or raise your voice to your child, you diminish your authority. Plus, you have poor emotional regulation. I know teens are difficult, but that's when you need authority and a good record with them. I can't imagine yelling at a young child. Pp, you need to revise your statement because there are parents who absolutely do not yell at their kids.

Thank you for this very funny comment. I literally laughed outloud. Not all kids are the same, you know that, right? You have perfect and compliant children, I get that. Not everyone does. Think a little beyond your smugness.

She was responding to a post that said "all moms scream at our kids, literally all of us". Maybe you should calm down about smugness. If you are not able to manage your children's behavior without "screaming" at them, I agree that the problem is with you, not your children. Not everyone struggles with that level of emotional regulation problem, including the PP.

As for the OP, I doubt she is posting exactly what she told her therapist. None of what she described, with that level of detail, is reportable. What is pretty common, however, is women married to men with anger management problems minimizing the problem to try to protect themselves and their children. On the one hand, I sympathize with OP going to therapy to get help and now fearing that the problem has been made worse. On the other hand, if the abuse described was serious enough to be reported, it sounds like the OP is not correctly assessing how much of a threat her husband actually is.

Oh come off it. I was responding to the smug poster who claimed she never even raised her voice to her kids. It wasn't about defending "screaming" as a child management tactic. If she and her offspring are so compliant and conflict free-yay them. It's either genetics, or meds-of which DCUM is enormously in favor of.

[Anonymous]

Not all yelling is the same. There is definitely yelling that is abusive - ie belittling insulting demeaning threatening . "You are stupid." "you can't do anything right" "i'm going to kill your dog if you don't behave."

And then there is yelling that is not abusive - ie.e screaming "stop" when your child is about to run in the street. or even yelling "stop throwing your food!" "Hurry up" etc.

So it is entirely possible that OPs husband is being abusive depending on the content of the yelling.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is a category of abuse called neglect. If the husband’s punishments include not just yelling but things like deprivation of food, denying warm clothing on a cold day (ie if you lose that coat I am not buying you another), locking a kid in their room, taking all the covers off the bed for a week, turning off electricity in the house, turning off heat etc. then that’s why she called. We had parents who never hit us but were masters of neglect. I suspect this may be the story

Sorry but “if you lose that coat I am not buying you another” is not neglect. It’s natural consequences.

I think this is a good example of when context matters. In some areas of this country cold can get to the point where it's dangerous.

Not buying your kid a coat, and having them spend their own money from the thrift store, or wear a hand me down that's out of style or stained or a little ripped -- a natural consequence that seems very reasonable

Not buying your kid a coat, and sending them walking to school in a Tshirt in frostbite weather -- a natural consequence that can lead to death.

Sometimes, not protecting kids from natural consequences is absolutely neglect.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:While details would be helpful, I'd fire your therapist

Sounds like ditching the husband would be more appropriate if he’s committing reportable acts.

Therapist has a right and duty to report, but she broke patient confidence. I would never again trust him/her.

Any responsible therapist is going to break patience confidence after hearing evidence of CHILD ABUSE!

OP if you like your therapist you might as well stay with them, they are a responsible MANDATED REPORTER and they may be able to help you get your head out of you anus, stop being codependent and start protecting your child(ren) from CHILD ABUSE.

From what the OP had described, there was no abuse.

The OP is lying to us - if the therapist reported to CPS it was because OP disclosed something that meets the mandated reporter’s obligation, i.e., child abuse.

I know a thing or two about this, I am a former prosecutor who filed hundreds of petitions to remove children or formally intervene with their families and I put plenty of child abusers in prison, too.

HALF OF ALL CHILDREN ON THIS PLANET HAVE EXPERIENCED VIOLENCE.

HALF OF ALL CHILDREN.

Sure, some of them live in places where there is ongoing conflict or war and that’s the violence they have experienced.

But far more of them have experienced violence at the hands of ‘mommy’ and ‘daddy.’ And yes, an adult screaming at a child on a regular basis as their routine parenting is ABUSE.

Emotional abuse is every bit as damaging - and longer lasting - than most physical abuse. Beyond that, most parents who cannot control themselves and resort to routinely screaming at their kids have also used physical force that is unacceptable and anyone who is that emotionally unstable has the potential to snap and hit a child with extreme force.

I don’t tolerate excusing this kind of ‘parenting’ which is not parenting at all.

I’ve been sick with a bad respiratory infection the last two weeks and I spent much of my time laid up watching the trial of Adam Montgomery, who lost his shit and punched his 5 year old daughter in the head for wetting her pants. She died, and he carried her body around for months before dismembering her and throwing her away like garbage.

I cannot fathom screaming at a child. It’s traumatizing to a child to be screamed at by the people upon whom they rely for basic survival. You think a child being screamed at doesn’t wonder what else that ‘parent’ might do?

Anyone who excuses this kind of sick breeder behavior needs their head examined. Shame on all of you who do it and think it’s okay.

You had me until the screaming part.

All moms scream at their kids at one point or another, literally all of us. We do it because we repeat the same things nicely, quietly, over and over but our kids ignore us until we scream it. Boom! As soon as I scream something my kids listen. I don’t scream until I’ve repeated the same thing at least twenty times. “Johnny, it’s time to go practice piano.” Johnny’s watching tv or playing video games. “Come on Johnny, my love, it’s time for piano…..” It’d be the next morning before little Johnny stopped playing x-box and started playing the piano if I didn’t scream.

We all succumb to it eventually. It’s true for almost every nice mom I know. And if it’s not the mom. It’s the dad. Because kids like to ignore us when they don’t feel like listening.

I don’t believe that you have any experience with kids at all. You’re a liar and a judgmental dumb one at that. “Breeder behavior,” you’re kidding, right? You mean “parenting?”

I have literally never screamed, yelled or even raised my voice at my children. My youngest is 14. I agree with pp that it is abusive. From a parenting perspective, when you argue with or raise your voice to your child, you diminish your authority. Plus, you have poor emotional regulation. I know teens are difficult, but that's when you need authority and a good record with them. I can't imagine yelling at a young child. Pp, you need to revise your statement because there are parents who absolutely do not yell at their kids.

Thank you for this very funny comment. I literally laughed outloud. Not all kids are the same, you know that, right? You have perfect and compliant children, I get that. Not everyone does. Think a little beyond your smugness.

She was responding to a post that said "all moms scream at our kids, literally all of us". Maybe you should calm down about smugness. If you are not able to manage your children's behavior without "screaming" at them, I agree that the problem is with you, not your children. Not everyone struggles with that level of emotional regulation problem, including the PP.

As for the OP, I doubt she is posting exactly what she told her therapist. None of what she described, with that level of detail, is reportable. What is pretty common, however, is women married to men with anger management problems minimizing the problem to try to protect themselves and their children. On the one hand, I sympathize with OP going to therapy to get help and now fearing that the problem has been made worse. On the other hand, if the abuse described was serious enough to be reported, it sounds like the OP is not correctly assessing how much of a threat her husband actually is.

Oh come off it. I was responding to the smug poster who claimed she never even raised her voice to her kids. It wasn't about defending "screaming" as a child management tactic. If she and her offspring are so compliant and conflict free-yay them. It's either genetics, or meds-of which DCUM is enormously in favor of.

Oh goodness. NP here. I don't yell and my kids are HARD. They both have ADHD and one has mild ASD. It is an enormous effort not to yell. It's 100% not about the kids making it easy for me not to yell. Managing my own emotions so that I don't yell is the hardest thing I've ever done. Also the poster who said that we scream because we ask nicely many many times and then we hit our limit and scream is describing a very common but ineffective parenting tactic. It's a parenting choice, not an inevitability. Of course, it's abusive, just not effective. Frequent screaming to the point where a kids' fight or flight mode is constantly activated is abusive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:While details would be helpful, I'd fire your therapist

Sounds like ditching the husband would be more appropriate if he’s committing reportable acts.

Therapist has a right and duty to report, but she broke patient confidence. I would never again trust him/her.

Any responsible therapist is going to break patience confidence after hearing evidence of CHILD ABUSE!

OP if you like your therapist you might as well stay with them, they are a responsible MANDATED REPORTER and they may be able to help you get your head out of you anus, stop being codependent and start protecting your child(ren) from CHILD ABUSE.

From what the OP had described, there was no abuse.

The OP is lying to us - if the therapist reported to CPS it was because OP disclosed something that meets the mandated reporter’s obligation, i.e., child abuse.

I know a thing or two about this, I am a former prosecutor who filed hundreds of petitions to remove children or formally intervene with their families and I put plenty of child abusers in prison, too.

HALF OF ALL CHILDREN ON THIS PLANET HAVE EXPERIENCED VIOLENCE.

HALF OF ALL CHILDREN.

Sure, some of them live in places where there is ongoing conflict or war and that’s the violence they have experienced.

But far more of them have experienced violence at the hands of ‘mommy’ and ‘daddy.’ And yes, an adult screaming at a child on a regular basis as their routine parenting is ABUSE.

Emotional abuse is every bit as damaging - and longer lasting - than most physical abuse. Beyond that, most parents who cannot control themselves and resort to routinely screaming at their kids have also used physical force that is unacceptable and anyone who is that emotionally unstable has the potential to snap and hit a child with extreme force.

I don’t tolerate excusing this kind of ‘parenting’ which is not parenting at all.

I’ve been sick with a bad respiratory infection the last two weeks and I spent much of my time laid up watching the trial of Adam Montgomery, who lost his shit and punched his 5 year old daughter in the head for wetting her pants. She died, and he carried her body around for months before dismembering her and throwing her away like garbage.

I cannot fathom screaming at a child. It’s traumatizing to a child to be screamed at by the people upon whom they rely for basic survival. You think a child being screamed at doesn’t wonder what else that ‘parent’ might do?

Anyone who excuses this kind of sick breeder behavior needs their head examined. Shame on all of you who do it and think it’s okay.

You had me until the screaming part.

All moms scream at their kids at one point or another, literally all of us. We do it because we repeat the same things nicely, quietly, over and over but our kids ignore us until we scream it. Boom! As soon as I scream something my kids listen. I don’t scream until I’ve repeated the same thing at least twenty times. “Johnny, it’s time to go practice piano.” Johnny’s watching tv or playing video games. “Come on Johnny, my love, it’s time for piano…..” It’d be the next morning before little Johnny stopped playing x-box and started playing the piano if I didn’t scream.

We all succumb to it eventually. It’s true for almost every nice mom I know. And if it’s not the mom. It’s the dad. Because kids like to ignore us when they don’t feel like listening.

I don’t believe that you have any experience with kids at all. You’re a liar and a judgmental dumb one at that. “Breeder behavior,” you’re kidding, right? You mean “parenting?”

I have literally never screamed, yelled or even raised my voice at my children. My youngest is 14. I agree with pp that it is abusive. From a parenting perspective, when you argue with or raise your voice to your child, you diminish your authority. Plus, you have poor emotional regulation. I know teens are difficult, but that's when you need authority and a good record with them. I can't imagine yelling at a young child. Pp, you need to revise your statement because there are parents who absolutely do not yell at their kids.

Thank you for this very funny comment. I literally laughed outloud. Not all kids are the same, you know that, right? You have perfect and compliant children, I get that. Not everyone does. Think a little beyond your smugness.

She was responding to a post that said "all moms scream at our kids, literally all of us". Maybe you should calm down about smugness. If you are not able to manage your children's behavior without "screaming" at them, I agree that the problem is with you, not your children. Not everyone struggles with that level of emotional regulation problem, including the PP.

As for the OP, I doubt she is posting exactly what she told her therapist. None of what she described, with that level of detail, is reportable. What is pretty common, however, is women married to men with anger management problems minimizing the problem to try to protect themselves and their children. On the one hand, I sympathize with OP going to therapy to get help and now fearing that the problem has been made worse. On the other hand, if the abuse described was serious enough to be reported, it sounds like the OP is not correctly assessing how much of a threat her husband actually is.

Oh come off it. I was responding to the smug poster who claimed she never even raised her voice to her kids. It wasn't about defending "screaming" as a child management tactic. If she and her offspring are so compliant and conflict free-yay them. It's either genetics, or meds-of which DCUM is enormously in favor of.

Oh goodness. NP here. I don't yell and my kids are HARD. They both have ADHD and one has mild ASD. It is an enormous effort not to yell. It's 100% not about the kids making it easy for me not to yell. Managing my own emotions so that I don't yell is the hardest thing I've ever done. Also the poster who said that we scream because we ask nicely many many times and then we hit our limit and scream is describing a very common but ineffective parenting tactic. It's a parenting choice, not an inevitability. Of course, it's abusive, just not effective. Frequent screaming to the point where a kids' fight or flight mode is constantly activated is abusive.

First state whether or not you drug your kids before you lecture everyone on parenting behaviors YOU consider “abusive”…

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:While details would be helpful, I'd fire your therapist

Sounds like ditching the husband would be more appropriate if he’s committing reportable acts.

Therapist has a right and duty to report, but she broke patient confidence. I would never again trust him/her.

Any responsible therapist is going to break patience confidence after hearing evidence of CHILD ABUSE!

OP if you like your therapist you might as well stay with them, they are a responsible MANDATED REPORTER and they may be able to help you get your head out of you anus, stop being codependent and start protecting your child(ren) from CHILD ABUSE.

From what the OP had described, there was no abuse.

The OP is lying to us - if the therapist reported to CPS it was because OP disclosed something that meets the mandated reporter’s obligation, i.e., child abuse.

I know a thing or two about this, I am a former prosecutor who filed hundreds of petitions to remove children or formally intervene with their families and I put plenty of child abusers in prison, too.

HALF OF ALL CHILDREN ON THIS PLANET HAVE EXPERIENCED VIOLENCE.

HALF OF ALL CHILDREN.

Sure, some of them live in places where there is ongoing conflict or war and that’s the violence they have experienced.

But far more of them have experienced violence at the hands of ‘mommy’ and ‘daddy.’ And yes, an adult screaming at a child on a regular basis as their routine parenting is ABUSE.

Emotional abuse is every bit as damaging - and longer lasting - than most physical abuse. Beyond that, most parents who cannot control themselves and resort to routinely screaming at their kids have also used physical force that is unacceptable and anyone who is that emotionally unstable has the potential to snap and hit a child with extreme force.

I don’t tolerate excusing this kind of ‘parenting’ which is not parenting at all.

I’ve been sick with a bad respiratory infection the last two weeks and I spent much of my time laid up watching the trial of Adam Montgomery, who lost his shit and punched his 5 year old daughter in the head for wetting her pants. She died, and he carried her body around for months before dismembering her and throwing her away like garbage.

I cannot fathom screaming at a child. It’s traumatizing to a child to be screamed at by the people upon whom they rely for basic survival. You think a child being screamed at doesn’t wonder what else that ‘parent’ might do?

Anyone who excuses this kind of sick breeder behavior needs their head examined. Shame on all of you who do it and think it’s okay.

You had me until the screaming part.

All moms scream at their kids at one point or another, literally all of us. We do it because we repeat the same things nicely, quietly, over and over but our kids ignore us until we scream it. Boom! As soon as I scream something my kids listen. I don’t scream until I’ve repeated the same thing at least twenty times. “Johnny, it’s time to go practice piano.” Johnny’s watching tv or playing video games. “Come on Johnny, my love, it’s time for piano…..” It’d be the next morning before little Johnny stopped playing x-box and started playing the piano if I didn’t scream.

We all succumb to it eventually. It’s true for almost every nice mom I know. And if it’s not the mom. It’s the dad. Because kids like to ignore us when they don’t feel like listening.

I don’t believe that you have any experience with kids at all. You’re a liar and a judgmental dumb one at that. “Breeder behavior,” you’re kidding, right? You mean “parenting?”

I have literally never screamed, yelled or even raised my voice at my children. My youngest is 14. I agree with pp that it is abusive. From a parenting perspective, when you argue with or raise your voice to your child, you diminish your authority. Plus, you have poor emotional regulation. I know teens are difficult, but that's when you need authority and a good record with them. I can't imagine yelling at a young child. Pp, you need to revise your statement because there are parents who absolutely do not yell at their kids.

Thank you for this very funny comment. I literally laughed outloud. Not all kids are the same, you know that, right? You have perfect and compliant children, I get that. Not everyone does. Think a little beyond your smugness.

She was responding to a post that said "all moms scream at our kids, literally all of us". Maybe you should calm down about smugness. If you are not able to manage your children's behavior without "screaming" at them, I agree that the problem is with you, not your children. Not everyone struggles with that level of emotional regulation problem, including the PP.

As for the OP, I doubt she is posting exactly what she told her therapist. None of what she described, with that level of detail, is reportable. What is pretty common, however, is women married to men with anger management problems minimizing the problem to try to protect themselves and their children. On the one hand, I sympathize with OP going to therapy to get help and now fearing that the problem has been made worse. On the other hand, if the abuse described was serious enough to be reported, it sounds like the OP is not correctly assessing how much of a threat her husband actually is.

Oh come off it. I was responding to the smug poster who claimed she never even raised her voice to her kids. It wasn't about defending "screaming" as a child management tactic. If she and her offspring are so compliant and conflict free-yay them. It's either genetics, or meds-of which DCUM is enormously in favor of.

Oh goodness. NP here. I don't yell and my kids are HARD. They both have ADHD and one has mild ASD. It is an enormous effort not to yell. It's 100% not about the kids making it easy for me not to yell. Managing my own emotions so that I don't yell is the hardest thing I've ever done. Also the poster who said that we scream because we ask nicely many many times and then we hit our limit and scream is describing a very common but ineffective parenting tactic. It's a parenting choice, not an inevitability. Of course, it's abusive, just not effective. Frequent screaming to the point where a kids' fight or flight mode is constantly activated is abusive.

First state whether or not you drug your kids before you lecture everyone on parenting behaviors YOU consider “abusive”…

“Drug” like with sedatives? Or are you heading for an “ADHD meds are abuse” angle here?

Boring