Therapist filed report with CPS, should I inform husband?

[Anonymous]

I'm surprised the therapist didn't tell OP that she would have to make a report to CPS at the end of their session.

[Anonymous]

Either OP is crazy, the therapist is crazy, or we are all crazy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There is a category of abuse called neglect. If the husband’s punishments include not just yelling but things like deprivation of food, denying warm clothing on a cold day (ie if you lose that coat I am not buying you another), locking a kid in their room, taking all the covers off the bed for a week, turning off electricity in the house, turning off heat etc. then that’s why she called. We had parents who never hit us but were masters of neglect. I suspect this may be the story

Sorry but “if you lose that coat I am not buying you another” is not neglect. It’s natural consequences.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:While details would be helpful, I'd fire your therapist

Sounds like ditching the husband would be more appropriate if he’s committing reportable acts.

Therapist has a right and duty to report, but she broke patient confidence. I would never again trust him/her.

Wrong they are mandatory reporters whatever OP told them is fair game in that instance

Team kids over these two dumbass crappy parents.

Yelling at your kid is not reportable. Op isn’t describing incest or violence. Therapist is out of line.

Everything is reportable. By not everything requires that a mandated reporter report. There is no way OP is telling us anything close to what she told the therapist. But honestly if he it’s that bad why didn’t OP take care of her kids. She’s got problems too. Family definitely needs a lawyer. Don’t see how that can happen without letting husband know.

Seriously what? No, everything is not reportable. -mandated reporter

[Anonymous]

Something is missing in this post. “DH yells” is not sufficient to mandate a CPS visit. Did you tell the therapist he hit your child?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:While details would be helpful, I'd fire your therapist

Sounds like ditching the husband would be more appropriate if he’s committing reportable acts.

Therapist has a right and duty to report, but she broke patient confidence. I would never again trust him/her.

Wrong they are mandatory reporters whatever OP told them is fair game in that instance

Team kids over these two dumbass crappy parents.

Yelling at your kid is not reportable. Op isn’t describing incest or violence. Therapist is out of line.

I frankly don't believe that OP gave us the full story and I'm guessing there is some physical abuse or neglect involved. I think she's in denial and trying desperately to minimize that her kids are living in an abusive home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:While details would be helpful, I'd fire your therapist

Sounds like ditching the husband would be more appropriate if he’s committing reportable acts.

Therapist has a right and duty to report, but she broke patient confidence. I would never again trust him/her.

Wrong they are mandatory reporters whatever OP told them is fair game in that instance

Team kids over these two dumbass crappy parents.

Of course they are mandatory reporters, but OP needs a new therapist, end of story.

The next therapist will do the same.

Confidentiality does not apply in this scenario.

[Anonymous]

Although if OP had told all thus to a priest, it might have been privileged and had no mandatory disclosure. Crazy, right?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Only OP knows what happened. CPS is often overzealous, especially when racial or cultural prejudices are in play.

OP needs to decide if DH is abusive or if therapist was on a power trip or ignorant.

Therapist has forced you to choose a side: DH or CPS.

Call a lawyer, and tell to people you really trust to figure out if you need to intervene between DH and the kids, or defend DH against persecution.

If DH is pushing boundaries he can come back from, be open and honest with him about that.

If a power tripping nanny state is attacking your family, you need to hold strong.

If DH is threatening your kids with violence, he needs to be temporarily separated from them before they get hurt and he goes to jail.

We can't know the facts. OP needs to figure it out, quickly.

I see slightly more nuance. My DH has grabbed our kid in ways I feel are too rough but not abusive per se. I have told my therapist about it, and I would not blame my therapist if they reported to CPS. I also would not defend my DH to CPS if it came to that. I absolutely do not think he deserves to lose access to his kids but I’m not going to lie about anything. I’d just tell the truth: “he grabbed DS’s arm to get him to sit down. I disagree with that physicality and intervened to make it stop. DH otherwise is a loving dad and has a good relationship. He’s never harmed DS.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is a category of abuse called neglect. If the husband’s punishments include not just yelling but things like deprivation of food, denying warm clothing on a cold day (ie if you lose that coat I am not buying you another), locking a kid in their room, taking all the covers off the bed for a week, turning off electricity in the house, turning off heat etc. then that’s why she called. We had parents who never hit us but were masters of neglect. I suspect this may be the story

Sorry but “if you lose that coat I am not buying you another” is not neglect. It’s natural consequences.

It’s absolutely neglect.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:While details would be helpful, I'd fire your therapist

Sounds like ditching the husband would be more appropriate if he’s committing reportable acts.

Therapist has a right and duty to report, but she broke patient confidence. I would never again trust him/her.

Any responsible therapist is going to break patience confidence after hearing evidence of CHILD ABUSE!

OP if you like your therapist you might as well stay with them, they are a responsible MANDATED REPORTER and they may be able to help you get your head out of you anus, stop being codependent and start protecting your child(ren) from CHILD ABUSE.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is yelling seriously CPS-worthy?

No. CPS isn't going to do anything with the report. In the unlikely event they do, the OP should not cooperate. They'll drop it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:While details would be helpful, I'd fire your therapist

Sounds like ditching the husband would be more appropriate if he’s committing reportable acts.

Therapist has a right and duty to report, but she broke patient confidence. I would never again trust him/her.

Any responsible therapist is going to break patience confidence after hearing evidence of CHILD ABUSE!

OP if you like your therapist you might as well stay with them, they are a responsible MANDATED REPORTER and they may be able to help you get your head out of you anus, stop being codependent and start protecting your child(ren) from CHILD ABUSE.

From what the OP had described, there was no abuse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP is lying. None of the stuff she claims she told the therapist would flag a reporting. There is more to this.

You haven't met many psychologists before, have you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Only OP knows what happened. CPS is often overzealous, especially when racial or cultural prejudices are in play.

OP needs to decide if DH is abusive or if therapist was on a power trip or ignorant.

Therapist has forced you to choose a side: DH or CPS.

Call a lawyer, and tell to people you really trust to figure out if you need to intervene between DH and the kids, or defend DH against persecution.

If DH is pushing boundaries he can come back from, be open and honest with him about that.

If a power tripping nanny state is attacking your family, you need to hold strong.

If DH is threatening your kids with violence, he needs to be temporarily separated from them before they get hurt and he goes to jail.

We can't know the facts. OP needs to figure it out, quickly.

I see slightly more nuance. My DH has grabbed our kid in ways I feel are too rough but not abusive per se. I have told my therapist about it, and I would not blame my therapist if they reported to CPS. I also would not defend my DH to CPS if it came to that. I absolutely do not think he deserves to lose access to his kids but I’m not going to lie about anything. I’d just tell the truth: “he grabbed DS’s arm to get him to sit down. I disagree with that physicality and intervened to make it stop. DH otherwise is a loving dad and has a good relationship. He’s never harmed DS.”

Grabbing an arm is not cps worthy.