Question for "no shoes" households

[Anonymous]

I love how the shoes-on people call the others "rude" because they might have ugly feet or socks, but then straight up call shoe-off people "nutso" "psycho" and talk about wanting to "track dog poop into your house".

Asking someone to remove their shoes when they come to your home is not rude, but talking about literally stepping in dog poop to dirty up someone elses home sure as F is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I love how the shoes-on people call the others "rude" because they might have ugly feet or socks, but then straight up call shoe-off people "nutso" "psycho" and talk about wanting to "track dog poop into your house".

Asking someone to remove their shoes when they come to your home is not rude, but talking about literally stepping in dog poop to dirty up someone elses home sure as F is.

That poster is weird and does not speak for the rest of us.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Indian American here - so grew up with plenty of formal gatherings (if women draped in silk and gold and gems is formal) with no shoes.

No shoe house now - but my midwestern husband wears his shoes in the house sometimes, it only annoys me because of the grit that gets dragged in on the treads of his shoes.

If we have people over, I don’t care - all hardwood and throw rugs, but 90% of the adults who come over take their shoes off without prompting - 100% of the kids. Most of our friends have no shoe houses and the only common factor is their age (younger GenX-older Millennials). We often bring indoor slippers to wear at house parties!

The only time I’ve been strict about it as an adult was when we had a crawling baby/new walker.

It’s looks so much better to be barefoot while wearing a long saree or lengha than it is to be barefoot and wearing a little black dress.

When a woman is wearing Indian clothes you can hardly even see a her feet in the first place. Formal western dresses that are short look ridiculous if you are barefoot or wear socks (shudder).

So you’re comparing apples to oranges!

But the OP didn’t specify it was a “Western” (European?) Formal event.

I’m sure that’s what you and 98% of the posters assumed, but if we’re going to continue with the apples and oranges, the question was about fruit, not apples.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't care about your outfit. No shoes means no exceptions.

Or what? Off to the gulag?

Or you can gtfo.

[Anonymous]

So to summarize what I read in this thread: it appears that the majority of responses from people who have no shoes households, say they don't mandate that their guests remove their shoes, although it is preferred. Also in these no shoes houses, it appears that guests voluntarily remove their shoes as soon as they notice it's a no shoes house so there's no issue. The exception being a formal gathering.

We are in no shoes house. And my attitude seems to match the majority in that I don't ask guest to take off their shoes. However, the majority of my guests take off their shoe as soon as they enter my house, this includes the friends of my kids who come over. They also remove their shoes as soon as they walk in the door, which leads me to believe that they are also from no shoes houses.

I do not entertain "formally" very frequently, but when I do, I do not ask anybody to remove shoes, and in these instances, typically guests don't take them off either.

So, in my limited experience. Informal, gatherings of friends coming to visit for a drink or to just visit ... shoes come off. Formal gatherings where people are dressed up for a party, shoes on. And reading this thread, that seems to be the most common situation. Unless culturally it is not applicable within that culture.

For what it's worth, I am a white anglo saxon born here in the USA.

[Anonymous]

Would it be weird if someone wanted to keep their shoes on to give them booties or have them wipe the soles of their shoes if they wanted to keep them on? If I were hosting a large formal party I would have everyone keep them on but for every day visitor, I just don’t have the time or money to clean carpets, and area rugs after each visit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Would it be weird if someone wanted to keep their shoes on to give them booties or have them wipe the soles of their shoes if they wanted to keep them on? If I were hosting a large formal party I would have everyone keep them on but for every day visitor, I just don’t have the time or money to clean carpets, and area rugs after each visit.

Put a door mat where people come in. Most people will wipe their shoes naturally if there’s a mat there.

But also in my experience for casual gatherings is that as soon as guests see me without shoes they take theirs off at the door.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't care about your outfit. No shoes means no exceptions.

Even someone with a lift in their shoe, or similar?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t host formal events in my house bc I’m that grossed out by shoes everywhere. I once did host many years ago and some woman had a nail coming out of her heel on an old shoe that left dings in every plank of hardwood that she stepped on. I was renting then but would be pretty pissed of that happened on my floors. Only informal gatherings for me and shoes off!

Do you work outside of the house? What about going shopping or other indoor activities, going to the movies, etc?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't care about your outfit. No shoes means no exceptions.

So if an amputee who wears a prosthetic leg told you that they couldn't take their shoe off without removing their prosthesis and they would have to take their pants or hose off in order to remove their prosthesis, you'd tell them no exceptions?

You need to get out in the world more and meet more people so you realize how silly such absolutes are.

[Anonymous]

I grew up with shoes on in the house, but as an adult I’ve transitioned to no-shoes. I’m not anal about it, but I think it’s a nice habit. I’m delighted when my kids’ friends automatically kick their shoes off. These kids are so used to it nowadays!

[Anonymous]

What do people do about guests in wheelchairs?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t host formal events in my house bc I’m that grossed out by shoes everywhere. I once did host many years ago and some woman had a nail coming out of her heel on an old shoe that left dings in every plank of hardwood that she stepped on. I was renting then but would be pretty pissed of that happened on my floors. Only informal gatherings for me and shoes off!

Do you work outside of the house? What about going shopping or other indoor activities, going to the movies, etc?

I have no idea what these questions have to do w my feelings about shoes in the home.

I do all of these activities outside the home while wearing shoes and then I come home and remove them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What do people do about guests in wheelchairs?

I have an indoor wheelchair.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t host formal events in my house bc I’m that grossed out by shoes everywhere. I once did host many years ago and some woman had a nail coming out of her heel on an old shoe that left dings in every plank of hardwood that she stepped on. I was renting then but would be pretty pissed of that happened on my floors. Only informal gatherings for me and shoes off!

This deserves psychiatric attention. Not normal.