+1 I couldn't spend much time with her. People like her are often very controlling. It goes hand in hand with her proselytizing. |
I'm 55. Most my age friends (give or take 10 years) are in miserable marriages and tied down to an old and stifling model. Some have worked it out by buying an apartment near the child with grandchildren and just spending most their time there. The ones that have freed themselves of the ball and chain are working or retired, volunteering, working out, playing golf and pickleball, going to the beach with friends on the weekends frequently, traveling and living a great life. |
| ^^ unless you're escaping abuse, divorce is not a sign of success, for anyone else. |
I'm not the one you're responding to, but generally, when you make a claim, you should cite the source. I know this isn't academia or anything but can you imagine giving a presentation, making a claim, and then when asked "where did you get your information" you scream "GOOGLE!!!" How hard is it to include the link? When you are the one making the claim, you are the one to provide the source. Pretty basic stuff. |
I think ppl can define divorce however they wish, signed, someone who's been happily married for 35 years |
Oh, but being a married bitty such as yourself is suuuuuppppeeerrr successful. Just keep telling yourself that, dear. |
I'm 50 and I don't feel like that's the case for people I know! Maybe I just don't see it? What is miserable about these marriages? Is it just being sick of the person already? |
Yes it is, it means you have your own agency, you can afford it and want to have a full life for the next 40 years. |
Just one example is that men are very needy. A group of us are going to Spain for 10 days and Colorado for a long ski weekend. All but 1 married friend isn’t allowed to go because their H’s are all pouty that they would feel left out. Nothing is going on when we are gone, so my friends will sit at home watching football so their H doesn’t feel left out. We also golf and hike on weekends but they can go maybe once a month because their H feel left out. But truthfully they are the same people that could never meet for dinner because they husbands never figured out how to put the kids to bed. |
Is it really the men being needy or is it that the women are involved with their families? It can be hard for one parent to be gone on a school night. There's a lot to do with pick ups, kids activities, dinner, homework, bath time, etc. And if they want to remain married, then being gone on one day every weekend would make that difficult. IME it's different with single moms vs. married moms. The single moms I know socialize much more than the married moms. You also don't know whether they really want to go but feel they can't, or whether they don't really want to go and are making excuses. I go on the trips that I want to go on, and make excuses for the ones that I don't. I'm also very protective of family time and truly don't want to miss that every weekend, even if a grown ups outing sounds fun. They probably don't want to waste their vacation time on friend vacations either. They may need that vacation time for their families. |
School night? hon we are in our 50's our kids are 20's and 30's. Even if you have kids are in school and your spouse thinks it's too much to do something on your own 1x a week, well I can't help you. They don't need vacation time and yea, if they didn't want to go they would tell us, it's not like everybody does ever event. They are bummed and hurt that we are doing stuff and they are not. Our introvert friends just say, I'd rather read a book thanks. How old are you? |