If you kid is studying at Williams/Amherst/Pomona/Swarthmore/Wellesley/Bowdoin now,

[Anonymous]

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I like to shove a stick up the a$$ of every poster who says they worked harder at their “big 3” than they did at an elite college. Do they really think that public school kids at elite colleges just waltzed in after not doing shit in high school? Those kids worked equally hard if not harder, taking a dozen AP classes or more in order to stand out among the hundreds of kids in their class. They didn’t have the benefit of a (ridiculously named) “Big 3” to back up their applications so they hard to work harder.

Just STFU already. You’re not special. You’re privileged. There’s a difference. [/quote]

But if they don’t maintain their Big 3 branding, then it will all be for nothing. The more they publicly talk about how intense it is…share notes, groan… the more the brand cements itself in the public sphere…and the AO’s will (hopefully) sweep their kids in…

[/quote]

[b]But being at big 3 doesn’t mean you’re an intellectual powerhouse[/b]. More often than not it means your parents donated a ton of money and ran the auction in preschool or your K-8 before you got in. Money talks at the Big 3 and it doesn’t work as well for college unless your parents are going to give 7 figures. [/quote]

Who said being Big 3 is an intellectual powerhouse? What people are saying is that the Big 3 gives a sh*tload of work - and even more so for the kids in high rigor math/science classes. As a result, most Big 3 kids find college isn't a large leap in work....and some even find it to be easier. This is not some badge of superiority, they are just stating their experience.

Just like some public parents are saying their kids had lighter HS workload than college - I know there are public school kids who worked crazy hard. It doesn't mean the parent whose child had a different public experience is bragging or feels superior...

[Anonymous]

OP here. Thanks for the helpful discussions. One thing DD mentioned was she needed big chunks of time to do writing assignments but she got pulled in too many directions - social activities, practices (she plays a club sport), attending classes and interesting seminars, a campus job, mock trial, laundry room lines, shopping for personal items, finding the best food between cafeterias everyday, haha, etc etc., so she ended up sacrificing sleeping hours to finish assignments. I think she definitely needs to improve on time management, she probably wasn’t aware that I helped her with some of it from k to 12.

Despite all these she told me last night she got all A’s at midterm. Some classes are average B or B+. I am very proud of her. This thread made me realize when starting college it’s not just school is overwhelming, in fact she was well prepared academically, it’s everything together makes it daunting.

Thanks again for the input here. I’ll read again some of the posts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I like to shove a stick up the a$$ of every poster who says they worked harder at their “big 3” than they did at an elite college. Do they really think that public school kids at elite colleges just waltzed in after not doing shit in high school? Those kids worked equally hard if not harder, taking a dozen AP classes or more in order to stand out among the hundreds of kids in their class. They didn’t have the benefit of a (ridiculously named) “Big 3” to back up their applications so they hard to work harder.

Just STFU already. You’re not special. You’re privileged. There’s a difference.

Where did any Big 3 parent say anything about public school kids? We are just sharing our own experience, nobody disrespected you or public schools.

You can’t be serious. The “disrespect” is having to identify that you attended a Big 3 in the first place. As in “I went to a Big 3 and worked harder there than I do in my elite college.” Why the need to identify your high school at all? My point is simply that, Big 3 or otherwise, you have to work your a$$ off to get into these top colleges. So it’s probably a given that the students in them worked very hard in high school.

Does anyone seriously think that a Big 3 student has to work harder than a public school (or other private school) student to get into the SAME college? Of course not. If anything, it’s the other way around. So why the need to mention your high school at all, other than to show that you think you’re hot shit?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I like to shove a stick up the a$$ of every poster who says they worked harder at their “big 3” than they did at an elite college. Do they really think that public school kids at elite colleges just waltzed in after not doing shit in high school? Those kids worked equally hard if not harder, taking a dozen AP classes or more in order to stand out among the hundreds of kids in their class. They didn’t have the benefit of a (ridiculously named) “Big 3” to back up their applications so they hard to work harder.

Just STFU already. You’re not special. You’re privileged. There’s a difference.

Chip, meet shoulder.

No chip. Just setting the record straight. It’s just so ridiculous.

Sorry, but my kids are in nearly all APs or IBs at two different MoCo high schools. They do maybe two hours of homework a night and are getting straight As. It's not the same. And I saw how much harder the public school kids had to struggle to adjust to college, like OP's daughter. Many of them were shocked by the workload and weren't as prepared. Freshman year of college was hard for them, rather than being a relief and less stressful than high school.

What colleges do they go to? Are they both attending top 5 liberal arts colleges?

[Anonymous]

I still think part of the college experience is learning to prioritize. We could never have read everything a prof assigned. Not enough hours existed. Just like in life, you can’t do it all so have to learn how to prioritize by trial and error.

[Anonymous]

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I like to shove a stick up the a$$ of every poster who says they worked harder at their “big 3” than they did at an elite college. Do they really think that public school kids at elite colleges just waltzed in after not doing shit in high school? Those kids worked equally hard if not harder, taking a dozen AP classes or more in order to stand out among the hundreds of kids in their class. They didn’t have the benefit of a (ridiculously named) “Big 3” to back up their applications so they hard to work harder.

Just STFU already. You’re not special. You’re privileged. There’s a difference. [/quote]

But if they don’t maintain their Big 3 branding, then it will all be for nothing. The more they publicly talk about how intense it is…share notes, groan… the more the brand cements itself in the public sphere…and the AO’s will (hopefully) sweep their kids in…

[/quote]

[b]But being at big 3 doesn’t mean you’re an intellectual powerhouse[/b]. More often than not it means your parents donated a ton of money and ran the auction in preschool or your K-8 before you got in. Money talks at the Big 3 and it doesn’t work as well for college unless your parents are going to give 7 figures. [/quote]

Who said being Big 3 is an intellectual powerhouse? What people are saying is that the Big 3 gives a sh*tload of work - and even more so for the kids in high rigor math/science classes. As a result, most Big 3 kids find college isn't a large leap in work....and some even find it to be easier. This is not some badge of superiority, they are just stating their experience.

Just like some public parents are saying their kids had lighter HS workload than college - I know there are public school kids who worked crazy hard. It doesn't mean the parent whose child had a different public experience is bragging or feels superior...[/quote]

Eh - there are plenty of “Big 3” students not shooting anywhere near ivies or top LACs that chill and do sports and party.

[Anonymous]

Kid attended one of these colleges and did study abroad at the "holy grail" difficult Swarthmore. He never had more than a few hours of work a day but did feel everyone was highly exaggerative, particularly at Swarthmore, about how much work they got done or how much reading they do. He's a double major in Physics and History so not exactly the easiest majors either. He'd always say that the biggest lamenters about the rigor were people you'd see scrolling on websites during class and laughing with friends during "study" sessions. Though, he did have a history course his freshman year that would blaze through a textbook in less than 2 classes, he's learned how to properly read for college and is a lazer-focused writer.

You shouldn't need to study 8 hours everyday, unless you're way overloading or generally a pretty poor student.

[Anonymous]

I haven't had time to read the full thread. Has anyone yet mentioned course balancing when selecting classes? I don't think I would ever advise a freshman to enroll in four history/econ classes in a single semester. That is rough. And I like reading!

Maybe next term, she can pair three heavies with a light-reading class, or a studio class? She should reach out to her advisor ASAP. Of course she will need to work hard at a SLAC, but it shouldn't be misery.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I haven't had time to read the full thread. Has anyone yet mentioned course balancing when selecting classes? I don't think I would ever advise a freshman to enroll in four history/econ classes in a single semester. That is rough. And I like reading!

Maybe next term, she can pair three heavies with a light-reading class, or a studio class? She should reach out to her advisor ASAP. Of course she will need to work hard at a SLAC, but it shouldn't be misery.

This is very important! If you are in a semester of only philosophy/history seminars, you'll be banging your head by the end utterly tired of words...everywhere. Same with STEM, where the stress of final exams can realy crack a student down in their first semester. You need to start with balance, because it is difficult to adjust to college work which is more high-impact few assignments compared to high school's low-impact many assignments model.

[Anonymous]

It really depends on your kid’s outside activities. If they’re only taking courses and studying, even the hardest classes and schools are manageable. However, if you throw in a demanding activity, like a varsity or even club sport, life can be demanding. My kid rows, and he spends 40 hours/week on morning practices, afternoon workouts, and weekend competitions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It really depends on your kid’s outside activities. If they’re only taking courses and studying, even the hardest classes and schools are manageable. However, if you throw in a demanding activity, like a varsity or even club sport, life can be demanding. My kid rows, and he spends 40 hours/week on morning practices, afternoon workouts, and weekend competitions.

These colleges are pretty demanding. I'm not sure you could get through them without willingness to spend many hours staring into a book. DC goes to Williams and spent the first semester miserable (had no outside activities), and the things his professors were expecting was more than my ivy grad school had expected of me. I had never seen a syllabus with 15+ required books and lengthy ones as a "survey" into history. It was puzzling helping him and feeling lost with words at the rigor the school was expecting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I like to shove a stick up the a$$ of every poster who says they worked harder at their “big 3” than they did at an elite college. Do they really think that public school kids at elite colleges just waltzed in after not doing shit in high school? Those kids worked equally hard if not harder, taking a dozen AP classes or more in order to stand out among the hundreds of kids in their class. They didn’t have the benefit of a (ridiculously named) “Big 3” to back up their applications so they hard to work harder.

Just STFU already. You’re not special. You’re privileged. There’s a difference.

Where did any Big 3 parent say anything about public school kids? We are just sharing our own experience, nobody disrespected you or public schools.

You can’t be serious. The “disrespect” is having to identify that you attended a Big 3 in the first place. As in “I went to a Big 3 and worked harder there than I do in my elite college.” Why the need to identify your high school at all? My point is simply that, Big 3 or otherwise, you have to work your a$$ off to get into these top colleges. So it’s probably a given that the students in them worked very hard in high school.

Does anyone seriously think that a Big 3 student has to work harder than a public school (or other private school) student to get into the SAME college? Of course not. If anything, it’s the other way around. So why the need to mention your high school at all, other than to show that you think you’re hot shit?

+ well said! So toxic

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I went to a big three private high school and then one of those colleges. The big three was way harder in terms of workload and time management.

I worked hard in college. I probably studied, I don't know, maybe eight hours a day, more during exams. But time management was not an issue because I only had four classes and I was neither work study nor an athlete. So I had PLENTY of time to get work done. And I got WAY more sleep than in high school.

I feel like there is something miss here from what you are saying. Did your daughter go to a high school where she only had a couple hours of homework a night? Or did her high school not prepare her well for college level week? Or is she an athlete or have a work study job? She should have plenty of time to get her work done and still sleep 7 to 8 hours a night.

Similar experience. It's about time management. Way more free time in college than in high school. OP's daughter needs to figure this out. If she's only getting 6-7 hours a sleep it's because she's staying up late catching up when she has plenty of time during the day between classes, after the last class and before dinner, or library after dinner. Sunday afternoons and evenings were always standard studying days at college. It's good preparation for life as a consultant or analyst after graduation.

From what I remember, I typically rose at 9, just had coffee for breakfast, headed to library and prepped for first class, then classes/lunch/library studies through late afternoon. Maybe some chilling till dinner with friends. After dinner back to library, then gym and the occasional campus club event. Bed by 1.

Repeat through Thursday. Friday afternoon after last class typically didn't study but hung out and socialized. Same with Saturdays. Sunday was definitely a study day but leisurely.

I tended to study solo in a quiet corner of the library but plenty studied in groups and made it a social thing too. Not always advisable and that may be the other problem if OP's daughter's "studying" is really talking with friends in the library.

I went to an Ivy and maybe averaged 2 hours of homework per night.

These schools sound fairly miserable.

That said, I do wonder with the online ratings of courses/teachers/workloads if it is easier to carve out a better lifestyle these days.

This is why I think the Ivys are BS. I went to a SLAC and my language classes alone had 2 hours of homework a night (1 hour of exercises and 1 hour of language lab or discussion every day). Most reading-type classes had a book a week and a paper every week or every other week, and STEM classes went through a chapter each class so several hours of work in between each class and a unit exam covering a several chapters probably every three weeks. At least 5-6 hours of studying and writing a day, including weekends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What are their experiences like? I have one at one of these schools and she has been extremely busy with assignments and stuff. She was a self-driven, top student in high school with excellent academic records. She hasn't decided on her major yet. This semester she selected a course in philosophy, economics, environmental studies, and a seminar course. What she didn't expect is the amount of reading and writing required for each class. She sleeps maybe 6 hours a night or less during the week. She studies on weekends. She reads while doing laundry. She made quite a few friends, likes many of her teachers, enjoys campus events and a campus job. Her grades are fine, but she has to work so very, very hard I have to watch out for burnout. What are your kids' experience like? Any thoughts or advice? Thanks.

I think if you were to s private high school these SLAC are no big deal and actually easier.

[Anonymous]

Went to a