Gen Z are lonely and paying for activities to make friends

[Anonymous]

I’m a millennial and I’d love to pay to make friends and join a club. I’ve had friends my whole life. But after Covid, I just don’t have any anymore. I also have a 2 year old and two older kids. There weren’t baby groups for my Covid baby.

People are just really mean around here. You can rightly assume that none of them want to be your friend. Like the person shouting up thread that coworkers aren’t your friend. I’ve not found friends in my kids schools either. I just want to host dinner parties again and know people to invite. I’d love summer bbqs and Christmas parties.

[Anonymous]

I’m a millennial. When I moved to DC after college 15 years ago there were dozens of rec sports leagues (mostly kickball) you could pay to join to meet people. They still exist. None of this is new.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is great news. The death of organized social clubs hurt society.

Right? I think this is so great. I don’t get why people are complaining.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m a millennial and I’d love to pay to make friends and join a club. I’ve had friends my whole life. But after Covid, I just don’t have any anymore. I also have a 2 year old and two older kids. There weren’t baby groups for my Covid baby.

People are just really mean around here. You can rightly assume that none of them want to be your friend. Like the person shouting up thread that coworkers aren’t your friend. I’ve not found friends in my kids schools either. I just want to host dinner parties again and know people to invite. I’d love summer bbqs and Christmas parties.

+1, people are hostile here.

[Anonymous]

De Tocqueville wrote an entire essay about Americans joining clubs.

"Americans of all ages, all conditions, all minds constantly unite. Not only do they have commercial and industrial associations in which all take part, but they also have a thousand other kinds: religious, moral, grave, futile, very general and very particular, immense and very small; Americans use associations to give fêtes, to found seminaries, to build inns, to raise churches, to distribute books, to send missionaries to the antipodes; in this manner they create hospitals, prisons, schools."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m a millennial. When I moved to DC after college 15 years ago there were dozens of rec sports leagues (mostly kickball) you could pay to join to meet people. They still exist. None of this is new.

I am Gen X - these existed when I was in my 20's as well so yep they have been around for a long, long time

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That's what the "greatest generation" did as well OP, they liked to join clubs and organizations. It's fine.

? they paid to join organizations as 24 year olds to make friends? Which organizations were those?

Junior League, country clubs, bowling leagues, etc. Incredibly common.

+1

This is nothing new.

You make connections by having a reason for proximity.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This was exacerbated by covid, but I feel like parents of this generation (myself included) paid to keep the kids in activities and camps, and that's how many learned to socialized. It seems to have segued into young adulthood where these young adults are paying to join social clubs to make friends. I also think social media and smart phones have made it worse for young adults.

https://www.yahoo.com/news/gen-z-loneliness-bad-young-082301328.html

a thousand times

The whole second half of the article is about other ways Gen Z makes friends that are free or inexpensive.

Parents of Gen Z paid for activities and camps because we needed *childcare*. In fact, my older kid had so many activities you can plunk him down anywhere and he will just start talking to people and make friends. He just started college and when we spoke he told me "I was worried the first night because I didn't know anyone, but now I have lots of friends." That was a week later. It took him one week to find a group, and he's still adding on. He's also keeping in close touch with high school friend through *gasp* his cell phone and social media.

If there is any connection between social media and paying for activities I think it is that young people are getting exposed to new trends a lot faster now, social media is an easy way to link up with others with niche interests. My nephew, also Gen Z, became interested in making pottery and working with clay during the pandemic because of things he'd seen on social media. Within a year he was offering classes to neighborhood kids in a shed in his backyard. Now he's in art school. It totally change the trajectory of his life.

[Anonymous]

Co-workers are not friends is mean considering the large amount of people who move here for work.

I am not taking lifetime friendships but people here won’t even go to lunch, grab a cup of coffee with co-workers. Neighbors if they wave you are lucky

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m a millennial and I’d love to pay to make friends and join a club. I’ve had friends my whole life. But after Covid, I just don’t have any anymore. I also have a 2 year old and two older kids. There weren’t baby groups for my Covid baby.

People are just really mean around here. You can rightly assume that none of them want to be your friend. Like the person shouting up thread that coworkers aren’t your friend. I’ve not found friends in my kids schools either. I just want to host dinner parties again and know people to invite. I’d love summer bbqs and Christmas parties.

I second this.

OP - What other choice do we have? We were relocated for my husband’s job and unknowingly bought into a very unsocial neighborhood. The kids don’t play in the street and the neighbors don’t interact. I have really, really tried to “build a village” my kids and it’s taken a huge amount of effort. I just want my kids to have a sliver of a normal social life growing up. I’ve had friends my entire life but our current situation is isolating.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Co-workers are not friends is mean considering the large amount of people who move here for work.

I am not taking lifetime friendships but people here won’t even go to lunch, grab a cup of coffee with co-workers. Neighbors if they wave you are lucky

My coworkers and neighbors do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is great news. The death of organized social clubs hurt society.

Right? I think this is so great. I don’t get why people are complaining.

I don't either.
GenXer who is ready to join some clubs!

[Anonymous]

The big take-away is how lonely the younger generation is.

They seem to have stunted personalities from solely interacting on social media.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That's what the "greatest generation" did as well OP, they liked to join clubs and organizations. It's fine.

? they paid to join organizations as 24 year olds to make friends? Which organizations were those?

Bowling leagues

Seriously. Look it up.

ok, but bowling leagues aren't hugely popular. Not a lot of 18 to 24 yr olds were or are joining bowling leagues.

But, if people did join bowling leagues, it was because they wanted to bowl, not because they needed friends.

Some campuses have really active, fun bowling leagues.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The big take-away is how lonely the younger generation is.

They seem to have stunted personalities from solely interacting on social media.

COVID much?