Gen Z are lonely and paying for activities to make friends

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They're going to the gym and taking art classes and meeting people along the way? How terrible!

Seriously though, why is the article written as if it's a bad thing that people are seeking connection through shared interests?

Joining a club for activities that require more than one person, like mahjong is one thing, but the article talks about how this generation is lonely, and that the way to meet people and not be lonely is to pay to join.

I know there have always been paid organizations out there for whatever, but it seems to be more prevalent today for young people. I don't recall so many young people joining fee based organizations because they were lonely when I was younger.

More people were probably involved in church/religious activities and having children younger when you were younger. The loss of religion as a core part of life has led to fewer built-in communities, and many of us have failed to create them for our children. I was raised in a religious family, but am an atheist so have not raised my children in a religious community. In retrospect, I realize much of the community I built around them was in paid activities - athletic leagues, music lessons/groups, art lessons. It shouldn't surprise me that my now adult children would create their own communities using the (perhaps not particularly great) tools they were given as children, while figuring out their own paths forward.

Additionally, my children are likely to be in their mid-30s (or older) before having children, not their late teens/early twenties of my parents and my generation. That's a lot more free time as an adult, and not the built in friends-due-to-children I had when I was younger. My children also went away to college and are settling/have settled nearer where they went to college than "home" so they don't have built in friends from HS or whatever, that my spouse does, who lives in the same area where he attended HS.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That's what the "greatest generation" did as well OP, they liked to join clubs and organizations. It's fine.

? they paid to join organizations as 24 year olds to make friends? Which organizations were those?

Junior League, country clubs, bowling leagues, etc. Incredibly common.

+1
Bridge clubs, dance clubs ,cotillion, you name it!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They're going to the gym and taking art classes and meeting people along the way? How terrible!

Seriously though, why is the article written as if it's a bad thing that people are seeking connection through shared interests?

Joining a club for activities that require more than one person, like mahjong is one thing, but the article talks about how this generation is lonely, and that the way to meet people and not be lonely is to pay to join.

I know there have always been paid organizations out there for whatever, but it seems to be more prevalent today for young people. I don't recall so many young people joining fee based organizations because they were lonely when I was younger.

More people were probably involved in church/religious activities and having children younger when you were younger. The loss of religion as a core part of life has led to fewer built-in communities, and many of us have failed to create them for our children. I was raised in a religious family, but am an atheist so have not raised my children in a religious community. In retrospect, I realize much of the community I built around them was in paid activities - athletic leagues, music lessons/groups, art lessons. It shouldn't surprise me that my now adult children would create their own communities using the (perhaps not particularly great) tools they were given as children, while figuring out their own paths forward.

Additionally, my children are likely to be in their mid-30s (or older) before having children, not their late teens/early twenties of my parents and my generation. That's a lot more free time as an adult, and not the built in friends-due-to-children I had when I was younger. My children also went away to college and are settling/have settled nearer where they went to college than "home" so they don't have built in friends from HS or whatever, that my spouse does, who lives in the same area where he attended HS.

OP here. I think the church part makes a lot of sense. I made good friends with kids in my church youth group. They are still some of my longest, closest friends.

I think also more and more young people move out of state for jobs, and so it's difficult to find friends in a new city. I know when I moved to a different city as a young adult I made friends through church and also work, but work friends can be tricky.

After we had kids, we moved to a new state, and the friends we made were parents of our kids' friends.

We are hoping to retire soon and will eventually move to a lcol. I don't know where that will be but more than likely, we won't know anyone, so we'll probably have to join some club, including some fee based club, to meet people.

I guess this is what happens with the transient nature of our lives these days.

[Anonymous]

LOL I just read the first two pages of the thread and I’m sure OP is now like “OK OK OK I get it my premise is flawed. Same crap; different toilet!”

[Anonymous]

I’m glad my best friends are from high school and earlier. Nobody ever has friends like when you were 12.

Kids don’t play outside anymore so it’s rare now.

[Anonymous]

People move around a lot, not staying in towns, states or countries, where they grow up and have built in networks. Most leave few times for college, jobs, cost of living and adventure.

[Anonymous]

time to update Bowling Alone

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:time to update Bowling Alone

Haha, I'm the one who first posted on Bowling Alone - ebbs and flows.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That's what the "greatest generation" did as well OP, they liked to join clubs and organizations. It's fine.

+1

My MIL would have zero friends, without her clubs and organizations, most of whom are through FIL - it is not only Generation Z that does this, OP.

are these fee based clubs? Because that's what the article is talking about - that people are paying to socialize.

What other choice do they have?

They could work in an office and develop people skills.

Oh FFS, is this what the thread is about?

Your. Coworkers. Are. Not. Your. Friends.

Can you meet people at work who become your friends? Sure. Is that the most common place people make friends, either now or historically? No.

I've met my closest friends through work. Plenty of people meet their partners at work. It's not an outlandish idea that attending school online and working alone is hindering the development of social skills.

[Anonymous]

What do you think retirees look for in choosing where to retire if one does — it is for activities centered around interests and making friends f new to an area.
Certainly a much healthier way than going to a local bar or using some blind online ap.

50 years ago, I actually met my husband while I was working in DC after going to GWU by going to mass a
there. He was assigned to Andrews AFB in the presidential wing. My roommate in college and afterwards also met her husband there, too, in the similar group of grad students and young professionals. We see them often now here in Central
Virginia.

Today, young adults might also consider. Looking up “interest meetup grouos” as yo go hiking, kayaking, biking, ice skating etc in DMC area. Best to go with a friend perhaps first time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That's what the "greatest generation" did as well OP, they liked to join clubs and organizations. It's fine.

? they paid to join organizations as 24 year olds to make friends? Which organizations were those?

NP. Of course they did. It just looked a little different, because lots of 24 year olds were already married. Upper class men joined Harvard/Yale/Etc clubs, others joined fraternal organization lodges (masons, etc). Women belonged to gardening clubs, junior league, groups that played bridge. UC couples/families belonged to country clubs. Don't underestimate faith communities either.

Not to mention the cultural clubs My grandparents were part of clubs that centered on Italians, Czechs (where they immigrated from). Those were paid clubs.

My 1st gen parents met in a German social club. This was in the late 40s. They were very common.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That's what the "greatest generation" did as well OP, they liked to join clubs and organizations. It's fine.

? they paid to join organizations as 24 year olds to make friends? Which organizations were those?

Bowling leagues

Seriously. Look it up.

ok, but bowling leagues aren't hugely popular. Not a lot of 18 to 24 yr olds were or are joining bowling leagues.

But, if people did join bowling leagues, it was because they wanted to bowl, not because they needed friends.

Nope. There’s a huge social aspect to it too —drinking and smoking, back in the day. Social clubs have been around for a really long time.

[Anonymous]

Gen Z has no social skills. I mean when I was in my 20s I met people constantly. So easy.

Male friends I had via organizing ski trips, beach rentals, always 50/50 men to women.

Women to date just go to a bar by yourself. I find by your self forces you to talk or make move right away or leave.

Go on vacation by yourself. I did that once and had a 20 person strong friend group by day 5.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
I’m glad my best friends are from high school and earlier. Nobody ever has friends like when you were 12.

Kids don’t play outside anymore so it’s rare now.

This isn’t true.

[Anonymous]

I'm generation X. In made friends through many clubs. In grad school when I had time i was in a volunteering club and made friends there. Once working so many people I knew joined adult soccer and softball clubs or book clubs. I was in a social club that did volunteer work too. This has been common for generations.