Colleges with freshman in singles with suites - post here

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: I didn’t let my kid kid pick single as a choice. Part of the experience is living with others. And I say this as someone who did not get along with my freshman roommate so much that I ended up moving to another room. But I learned a lot in the process about what I could put up with and what I wouldn’t.

Unless there is a medical need, you should think about later years too. Will they be living solo in an apt as upperclassman too? Never need a roommate in life?

You know, you say this with an error of superiority, as if someone who never has roommates is defective. Well, I for one has basically never had roommates and I’m 55 years old. I had a husband for a while, and that was fine and we divorced over infidelity, but we got along fine as roommates.

As long as you can afford it throughout your lifetime, there’s no disadvantage to living alone if that’s what you prefer. Sharing a toilet does not make you more virtuous.

It’s actually you with the air of superiority. Most people cannot afford to pay for single dorm rooms. Most young people cannot afford apartment living in their own.

When young people travel, they usually stay in shared dorm style hostels. People move to large cities for work and look for roommates to offset the high cost of rent.

It doesn’t make someone ‘defective’ and that word was never used. It does lend to an experience that is very common in young people and yes I do believe it helps with their growth process.

They look for HOUSEMATES, not roommates.

You clearly have never been a young person living in NYC.

NYC has less than 3% of the population of the USA. Why are you applying living standards of a small minority of Americans to all college students?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Super immature of a kid for this to matter much at all. There are so many things that this should take priority over. Really odd.

I'm not OP, and my kid is only at the beginning of the college process, but DC has social anxiety--nothing especially debilitating as far as DC is concerned, but enough that it makes everyday life a little different for them than the typical, more social teen. Even more to the point, DC absolutely requires time alone to recharge after having to muster the energy required to socialize in classes, etc. While I'd love for DC to be more social, that's just not who they are, and I think a single will be better for them in this case. And since they'll probably spend a lot of time in that room, I certainly hope it's nice enough to feel like a bit of a sanctuary.

And really, can you imagine being a freshman--completely new to campus--and having a roommate who just really needs quiet and downtime while you're really hoping for a new friend? Not ideal for either party.

PP, do I think that's "odd?" Not really. Do I think you're a bit too judgy about a situation you don't know anything about? Definitely. (But that's the DCUM way, isn't it?) And did OP say this was the main priority? "It's not the only think my kid cares about, but it's important" doesn't sound like it to me.

The purpose of college is to expand yourself. Not to hide in your shell.

For someone with anxiety who is very introverted, forcing them to live with someone in a tiny room will not accomplish that. It will just make them hide in their shell more.
OTOH, give them a single in a suite with 3-5 other suitemates, and they will most likely come out of their shell on their schedule---because they have the needed time to recharge after social interactions, alone in their room.
Obviously you do not know any true introverts or introverts with anxiety.

Yes, I do.

I have a now adult daughter, who had / has pretty severe anxiety. Her college did not have singles, and she ended up with a born-again Christian lunatic. She was polite to her (because that’s how she was raised) but spent so much time out of her room that she ended up befriending another girl on her floor who had similar roommate issues. The two became good friends, ended up getting an off campus apartment (with others) together after freshman year, and fast forward 10 years they are still best friends and actually still live together with a couple of other women in a house that they rent together in DC.

They likely would have never even met had we coddled her into a single room when she went off to college. She would have just gone to class, then returned to her single room. That would’ve been a real tragedy.

It is no exaggeration to say that had she gotten a single room when she went off to college her adult life would be very different and probably a lot more sad than it is today.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Freshman in Alabama honors (engineering) — omg, gorgeous. 4-person suite, all had single rooms, two bathrooms, kitchen, TV lounge area. And all free with scholarship!

Housing sounds nice but Alabama, no thanks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Super immature of a kid for this to matter much at all. There are so many things that this should take priority over. Really odd.

I'm not OP, and my kid is only at the beginning of the college process, but DC has social anxiety--nothing especially debilitating as far as DC is concerned, but enough that it makes everyday life a little different for them than the typical, more social teen. Even more to the point, DC absolutely requires time alone to recharge after having to muster the energy required to socialize in classes, etc. While I'd love for DC to be more social, that's just not who they are, and I think a single will be better for them in this case. And since they'll probably spend a lot of time in that room, I certainly hope it's nice enough to feel like a bit of a sanctuary.

And really, can you imagine being a freshman--completely new to campus--and having a roommate who just really needs quiet and downtime while you're really hoping for a new friend? Not ideal for either party.

PP, do I think that's "odd?" Not really. Do I think you're a bit too judgy about a situation you don't know anything about? Definitely. (But that's the DCUM way, isn't it?) And did OP say this was the main priority? "It's not the only think my kid cares about, but it's important" doesn't sound like it to me.

I think we are the only country in the world that thinks that sharing a dorm room with a stranger is "expanding yourself." Trying kinky sex stuff is expanding yourself too, but it doesn't necessarily make you a better person.
The purpose of college is to expand yourself. Not to hide in your shell.

This is such a bullshit argument. Other countries do a whole lot of stuff that we don’t do here, and that doesn’t make their way right or ours wrong. In many countries, a woman lives with her parents until she’s married. Does that sound like a good idea to you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: I didn’t let my kid kid pick single as a choice. Part of the experience is living with others. And I say this as someone who did not get along with my freshman roommate so much that I ended up moving to another room. But I learned a lot in the process about what I could put up with and what I wouldn’t.

Unless there is a medical need, you should think about later years too. Will they be living solo in an apt as upperclassman too? Never need a roommate in life?

You know, you say this with an error of superiority, as if someone who never has roommates is defective. Well, I for one has basically never had roommates and I’m 55 years old. I had a husband for a while, and that was fine and we divorced over infidelity, but we got along fine as roommates.

As long as you can afford it throughout your lifetime, there’s no disadvantage to living alone if that’s what you prefer. Sharing a toilet does not make you more virtuous.

Amen. Even DH and I sleep in separate rooms.

Same. And I know at least 2 other couples who do. We have good marriages but like our space.

Us too.

I shared dorm rooms with five different people over the course of four years. Two were complete messy slobs. One smoked weed multiple times a day with the windows closed. One was an incredibly loud snorer. The other one played Jethro Tull albums. I don't feel that sharing a bedroom with any of them led to any kind of personal growth.

This anecdote only shows one thing: you’re pretty rigid and intolerant. It’s certainly not making you look good.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Williams College used to offer all singles to freshman.

Not when I went there, though that was many, many years ago. Some of the freshman dorms (Williams and Sage Halls) just aren't conducive to all singles, though Mission Park (which was not freshman housing when I was there) is only singles and has tons of rooms.

We just visited, were told 30% of lowerclassmen in singles, 70% of upperclassmen.

PP here. That sounds similar to my time. After freshman year (I was in a 3-person suite in Williams Hall in the double room), I had a single in Greylock for 3 years. Many of the rowhouses (mostly former fraternity houses) had doubles for upperclassmen. Otherwise, most upperclassmen had singles.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: I didn’t let my kid kid pick single as a choice. Part of the experience is living with others. And I say this as someone who did not get along with my freshman roommate so much that I ended up moving to another room. But I learned a lot in the process about what I could put up with and what I wouldn’t.

Unless there is a medical need, you should think about later years too. Will they be living solo in an apt as upperclassman too? Never need a roommate in life?

You know, you say this with an error of superiority, as if someone who never has roommates is defective. Well, I for one has basically never had roommates and I’m 55 years old. I had a husband for a while, and that was fine and we divorced over infidelity, but we got along fine as roommates.

As long as you can afford it throughout your lifetime, there’s no disadvantage to living alone if that’s what you prefer. Sharing a toilet does not make you more virtuous.

Amen. Even DH and I sleep in separate rooms.

Same. And I know at least 2 other couples who do. We have good marriages but like our space.

Us too.

I shared dorm rooms with five different people over the course of four years. Two were complete messy slobs. One smoked weed multiple times a day with the windows closed. One was an incredibly loud snorer. The other one played Jethro Tull albums. I don't feel that sharing a bedroom with any of them led to any kind of personal growth.

This anecdote only shows one thing: you’re pretty rigid and intolerant. It’s certainly not making you look good.

Well then perhaps I'd be a less rigid and more tolerant person today if singles were the dormitory standard at my university.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: I didn’t let my kid kid pick single as a choice. Part of the experience is living with others. And I say this as someone who did not get along with my freshman roommate so much that I ended up moving to another room. But I learned a lot in the process about what I could put up with and what I wouldn’t.

Unless there is a medical need, you should think about later years too. Will they be living solo in an apt as upperclassman too? Never need a roommate in life?

You know, you say this with an error of superiority, as if someone who never has roommates is defective. Well, I for one has basically never had roommates and I’m 55 years old. I had a husband for a while, and that was fine and we divorced over infidelity, but we got along fine as roommates.

As long as you can afford it throughout your lifetime, there’s no disadvantage to living alone if that’s what you prefer. Sharing a toilet does not make you more virtuous.

Amen. Even DH and I sleep in separate rooms.

Same. And I know at least 2 other couples who do. We have good marriages but like our space.

Us too.

I shared dorm rooms with five different people over the course of four years. Two were complete messy slobs. One smoked weed multiple times a day with the windows closed. One was an incredibly loud snorer. The other one played Jethro Tull albums. I don't feel that sharing a bedroom with any of them led to any kind of personal growth.

This anecdote only shows one thing: you’re pretty rigid and intolerant. It’s certainly not making you look good.

Well then perhaps I'd be a less rigid and more tolerant person today if singles were the dormitory standard at my university.

Doubtful

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wish more colleges did this. I had a freshman roommate who stayed up until 4 am every night (music and talking on the phone included), and the utter fatigue is a huge reason I dropped out. My body literally broke. Housing was no help with a new roommate.

I really doubt it was your freshman roommate’s fault you dropped out of college.

Try2 hours a sleep a night and get back to me. I sat out a semester, then re-enrolled and lived in an apartment alone. Sailed through an honors engineering program. Went on to an elite graduate school. Fatigue will break you.

I believe it. I said inhad a roommate from hell freshman year at williams and housing was no help. I ended up trying to sleep in the common room (but she’d also mess with me there) but mostly just slept on friends floors. I was getting no sleep and avoiding my room for as many hours as possible. Roommate would come in at all hours and blast music, burn things in the night, have sex at all hours on the bottom bunk, walk around topless, take my stuff, etc. It was awful and she should have been kicked out and i think would have now

Don’t fall for this trick. There are people who act like this in order to get their own room. I knew someone like this in college, only child, and she did this to her roommate. I lost respect for her and thought it must be awful for the roommate not to be able to spend any real time in a dorm room your parents paid for.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Super immature of a kid for this to matter much at all. There are so many things that this should take priority over. Really odd.

I'm not OP, and my kid is only at the beginning of the college process, but DC has social anxiety--nothing especially debilitating as far as DC is concerned, but enough that it makes everyday life a little different for them than the typical, more social teen. Even more to the point, DC absolutely requires time alone to recharge after having to muster the energy required to socialize in classes, etc. While I'd love for DC to be more social, that's just not who they are, and I think a single will be better for them in this case. And since they'll probably spend a lot of time in that room, I certainly hope it's nice enough to feel like a bit of a sanctuary.

And really, can you imagine being a freshman--completely new to campus--and having a roommate who just really needs quiet and downtime while you're really hoping for a new friend? Not ideal for either party.

PP, do I think that's "odd?" Not really. Do I think you're a bit too judgy about a situation you don't know anything about? Definitely. (But that's the DCUM way, isn't it?) And did OP say this was the main priority? "It's not the only think my kid cares about, but it's important" doesn't sound like it to me.

The purpose of college is to expand yourself. Not to hide in your shell.

For someone with anxiety who is very introverted, forcing them to live with someone in a tiny room will not accomplish that. It will just make them hide in their shell more.
OTOH, give them a single in a suite with 3-5 other suitemates, and they will most likely come out of their shell on their schedule---because they have the needed time to recharge after social interactions, alone in their room.
Obviously you do not know any true introverts or introverts with anxiety.

Yes, I do.

I have a now adult daughter, who had / has pretty severe anxiety. Her college did not have singles, and she ended up with a born-again Christian lunatic. She was polite to her (because that’s how she was raised) but spent so much time out of her room that she ended up befriending another girl on her floor who had similar roommate issues. The two became good friends, ended up getting an off campus apartment (with others) together after freshman year, and fast forward 10 years they are still best friends and actually still live together with a couple of other women in a house that they rent together in DC.

They likely would have never even met had we coddled her into a single room when she went off to college. She would have just gone to class, then returned to her single room. That would’ve been a real tragedy.

It is no exaggeration to say that had she gotten a single room when she went off to college her adult life would be very different and probably a lot more sad than it is today.

Someone who calls a stranger a "lunatic", especially based on second-hand information, did not raise her daughter properly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: I didn’t let my kid kid pick single as a choice. Part of the experience is living with others. And I say this as someone who did not get along with my freshman roommate so much that I ended up moving to another room. But I learned a lot in the process about what I could put up with and what I wouldn’t.

Unless there is a medical need, you should think about later years too. Will they be living solo in an apt as upperclassman too? Never need a roommate in life?

You know, you say this with an error of superiority, as if someone who never has roommates is defective. Well, I for one has basically never had roommates and I’m 55 years old. I had a husband for a while, and that was fine and we divorced over infidelity, but we got along fine as roommates.

As long as you can afford it throughout your lifetime, there’s no disadvantage to living alone if that’s what you prefer. Sharing a toilet does not make you more virtuous.

Amen. Even DH and I sleep in separate rooms.

Same. And I know at least 2 other couples who do. We have good marriages but like our space.

Us too.

I shared dorm rooms with five different people over the course of four years. Two were complete messy slobs. One smoked weed multiple times a day with the windows closed. One was an incredibly loud snorer. The other one played Jethro Tull albums. I don't feel that sharing a bedroom with any of them led to any kind of personal growth.

This anecdote only shows one thing: you’re pretty rigid and intolerant. It’s certainly not making you look good.

Wait, people are intolerant for not wanting to be around pot? I was in ROTC. A positive test would have derailed my entire future.

[Anonymous]

When I was in school anyone could get a single if they pled their case.

They are called "psycho singles", for a reason.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: I didn’t let my kid kid pick single as a choice. Part of the experience is living with others. And I say this as someone who did not get along with my freshman roommate so much that I ended up moving to another room. But I learned a lot in the process about what I could put up with and what I wouldn’t.

Unless there is a medical need, you should think about later years too. Will they be living solo in an apt as upperclassman too? Never need a roommate in life?

You know, you say this with an error of superiority, as if someone who never has roommates is defective. Well, I for one has basically never had roommates and I’m 55 years old. I had a husband for a while, and that was fine and we divorced over infidelity, but we got along fine as roommates.

As long as you can afford it throughout your lifetime, there’s no disadvantage to living alone if that’s what you prefer. Sharing a toilet does not make you more virtuous.

It’s actually you with the air of superiority. Most people cannot afford to pay for single dorm rooms. Most young people cannot afford apartment living in their own.

When young people travel, they usually stay in shared dorm style hostels. People move to large cities for work and look for roommates to offset the high cost of rent.

It doesn’t make someone ‘defective’ and that word was never used. It does lend to an experience that is very common in young people and yes I do believe it helps with their growth process.

They look for HOUSEMATES, not roommates.

+1

Outside of NYC (where sometimes you must have actual roommate sharing a bedroom to afford living), most people define roommate as someone you share the living space and bathroom with---but everyone has their own bedroom. That is very different than living in a 10x12 dorm room with another person and that is your only real living space (because heck the communal lounges are now "youth hostels" with 8-10 beds in them at many colleges.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Super immature of a kid for this to matter much at all. There are so many things that this should take priority over. Really odd.

Yeah I have to agree. Unless there is a medical condition, in which case you can probably get a single at most schools, this seems like such an odd thing to factor into where you go to school.

[Anonymous]

I looked up UNC-Charlotte based on the other thread and it looks like they have some buildings that Freshmen can live in that have suites for 1-4 people each with their own room. They also have buildings with traditional doubles.

As far as the rest of it goes - let's just accept that different kids have different needs. And people can have perfectly valid reasons for doing something differently than the way you would do it, and you are not entitled to know/understand/agree with those reasons.