Taking a year off before med school - to do very little

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here - I haven't posted his grades and MCAT because I legit don't know them. He's pretty quiet/secretive about it all, and we've taken the approach with all of our kids once in college that they are grown adults and they know the GPAs they need whether the goal is med school, law school, Wall Street, or whatever else.

And since this is anon - I don't think he has what it takes, or else he'd be applying. I mean he went to a state flagship u (UNC)- so not exactly MIT here - and even then wasn't on dean's list every semester and deans list is only a 3.5. So there are definitely certain semesters below a 3.5. That can't bode well for med school. I mean it seems like people with way more perfect grades can barely get into one or two med schools.

As others have said, I'm not going to be the one to crush this dream. But if I'm being honest I really don't want him going to some bottom of the barrel med school because that's the only place he can get it, as I think it is then harder to get good residencies. But again his choice.

DH and I are leaving this at - we're not funding the gap year, but you're welcome to live here.

I think that sounds harsh, but I don't think you mean how you said it. I think it's fair if you don't want to cover his rent given how close you are (only 20 min away?) but applying to med school is very expensive. Without full support from you, I don't see how he can cover costs of applying. My kid (bio major from a different state U) applied to 50 schools, and I paid $5000+ in app fees. I think you should have him move back home but support him 100% and let him try.

Plenty of kids go to med school without rich parents. They only help my parents offered me after college (where I also took on loans) was the ability to sleep in my old bedroom for free. That was it.

+1

[Anonymous]

My DS is now an attending physician. He did take 1 gap year after graduation. He had taken the MCAT junior summer and was happy with his scores. Applying to med school is a slog. You complete initial applications, then potential schools send you “secondaries” which are more essay questions + more $$. Then… maybe you get some interviews which you have to schedule and travel to. My DS wasn’t sure he could do this well along with his senior year and he was an athlete, which he didn’t want to give up. So for him, the gap year was a good thing. For more information, take a look at student doctor.net. There is an application forum and you/your son can look at individual schools.

[Anonymous]

My neighbor’s kid graduated from a great school, with one low course grade. For 3-4 years now, kid has worked in medical field, and now has a related Masters degree. Each med school application cycle kid ends up on the waiting list.

So, counting on one year off may be optimistic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here - I haven't posted his grades and MCAT because I legit don't know them. He's pretty quiet/secretive about it all, and we've taken the approach with all of our kids once in college that they are grown adults and they know the GPAs they need whether the goal is med school, law school, Wall Street, or whatever else.

And since this is anon - I don't think he has what it takes, or else he'd be applying. I mean he went to a state flagship u (UNC)- so not exactly MIT here - and even then wasn't on dean's list every semester and deans list is only a 3.5. So there are definitely certain semesters below a 3.5. That can't bode well for med school. I mean it seems like people with way more perfect grades can barely get into one or two med schools.

As others have said, I'm not going to be the one to crush this dream. But if I'm being honest I really don't want him going to some bottom of the barrel med school because that's the only place he can get it, as I think it is then harder to get good residencies. But again his choice.

DH and I are leaving this at - we're not funding the gap year, but you're welcome to live here.

I think that sounds harsh, but I don't think you mean how you said it. I think it's fair if you don't want to cover his rent given how close you are (only 20 min away?) but applying to med school is very expensive. Without full support from you, I don't see how he can cover costs of applying. My kid (bio major from a different state U) applied to 50 schools, and I paid $5000+ in app fees. I think you should have him move back home but support him 100% and let him try.

Plenty of kids go to med school without rich parents. They only help my parents offered me after college (where I also took on loans) was the ability to sleep in my old bedroom for free. That was it.

A lot of kids pay for med school using loans once they are there. Not many have money for application fees, prep course, purchasing tickets for interviews, hotels…etc. Easily adds up to many thousands of dollars.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here - I haven't posted his grades and MCAT because I legit don't know them. He's pretty quiet/secretive about it all, and we've taken the approach with all of our kids once in college that they are grown adults and they know the GPAs they need whether the goal is med school, law school, Wall Street, or whatever else.

And since this is anon - I don't think he has what it takes, or else he'd be applying. I mean he went to a state flagship u (UNC)- so not exactly MIT here - and even then wasn't on dean's list every semester and deans list is only a 3.5. So there are definitely certain semesters below a 3.5. That can't bode well for med school. I mean it seems like people with way more perfect grades can barely get into one or two med schools.

As others have said, I'm not going to be the one to crush this dream. But if I'm being honest I really don't want him going to some bottom of the barrel med school because that's the only place he can get it, as I think it is then harder to get good residencies. But again his choice.

DH and I are leaving this at - we're not funding the gap year, but you're welcome to live here.

I think that sounds harsh, but I don't think you mean how you said it. I think it's fair if you don't want to cover his rent given how close you are (only 20 min away?) but applying to med school is very expensive. Without full support from you, I don't see how he can cover costs of applying. My kid (bio major from a different state U) applied to 50 schools, and I paid $5000+ in app fees. I think you should have him move back home but support him 100% and let him try.

Plenty of kids go to med school without rich parents. They only help my parents offered me after college (where I also took on loans) was the ability to sleep in my old bedroom for free. That was it.

A lot of kids pay for med school using loans once they are there. Not many have money for application fees, prep course, purchasing tickets for interviews, hotels…etc. Easily adds up to many thousands of dollars.

NYT wrote an article a few years back how it prevents kids from low income families from applying to med schools.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here - I haven't posted his grades and MCAT because I legit don't know them. He's pretty quiet/secretive about it all, and we've taken the approach with all of our kids once in college that they are grown adults and they know the GPAs they need whether the goal is med school, law school, Wall Street, or whatever else.

And since this is anon - I don't think he has what it takes, or else he'd be applying. I mean he went to a state flagship u (UNC)- so not exactly MIT here - and even then wasn't on dean's list every semester and deans list is only a 3.5. So there are definitely certain semesters below a 3.5. That can't bode well for med school. I mean it seems like people with way more perfect grades can barely get into one or two med schools.

As others have said, I'm not going to be the one to crush this dream. But if I'm being honest I really don't want him going to some bottom of the barrel med school because that's the only place he can get it, as I think it is then harder to get good residencies. But again his choice.

DH and I are leaving this at - we're not funding the gap year, but you're welcome to live here.

I think that sounds harsh, but I don't think you mean how you said it. I think it's fair if you don't want to cover his rent given how close you are (only 20 min away?) but applying to med school is very expensive. Without full support from you, I don't see how he can cover costs of applying. My kid (bio major from a different state U) applied to 50 schools, and I paid $5000+ in app fees. I think you should have him move back home but support him 100% and let him try.

Plenty of kids go to med school without rich parents. They only help my parents offered me after college (where I also took on loans) was the ability to sleep in my old bedroom for free. That was it.

A lot of kids pay for med school using loans once they are there. Not many have money for application fees, prep course, purchasing tickets for interviews, hotels…etc. Easily adds up to many thousands of dollars.

They use credit cards. And a lot of interviews are over Zoom now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here - I haven't posted his grades and MCAT because I legit don't know them. He's pretty quiet/secretive about it all, and we've taken the approach with all of our kids once in college that they are grown adults and they know the GPAs they need whether the goal is med school, law school, Wall Street, or whatever else.

And since this is anon - I don't think he has what it takes, or else he'd be applying. I mean he went to a state flagship u (UNC)- so not exactly MIT here - and even then wasn't on dean's list every semester and deans list is only a 3.5. So there are definitely certain semesters below a 3.5. That can't bode well for med school. I mean it seems like people with way more perfect grades can barely get into one or two med schools.

As others have said, I'm not going to be the one to crush this dream. But if I'm being honest I really don't want him going to some bottom of the barrel med school because that's the only place he can get it, as I think it is then harder to get good residencies. But again his choice.

DH and I are leaving this at - we're not funding the gap year, but you're welcome to live here.

I think that sounds harsh, but I don't think you mean how you said it. I think it's fair if you don't want to cover his rent given how close you are (only 20 min away?) but applying to med school is very expensive. Without full support from you, I don't see how he can cover costs of applying. My kid (bio major from a different state U) applied to 50 schools, and I paid $5000+ in app fees. I think you should have him move back home but support him 100% and let him try.

Plenty of kids go to med school without rich parents. They only help my parents offered me after college (where I also took on loans) was the ability to sleep in my old bedroom for free. That was it.

A lot of kids pay for med school using loans once they are there. Not many have money for application fees, prep course, purchasing tickets for interviews, hotels…etc. Easily adds up to many thousands of dollars.

NYT wrote an article a few years back how it prevents kids from low income families from applying to med schools.

Of course the NYT would write that! Have you not learned to read with a discerning eye?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here - I haven't posted his grades and MCAT because I legit don't know them. He's pretty quiet/secretive about it all, and we've taken the approach with all of our kids once in college that they are grown adults and they know the GPAs they need whether the goal is med school, law school, Wall Street, or whatever else.

And since this is anon - I don't think he has what it takes, or else he'd be applying. I mean he went to a state flagship u (UNC)- so not exactly MIT here - and even then wasn't on dean's list every semester and deans list is only a 3.5. So there are definitely certain semesters below a 3.5. That can't bode well for med school. I mean it seems like people with way more perfect grades can barely get into one or two med schools.

As others have said, I'm not going to be the one to crush this dream. But if I'm being honest I really don't want him going to some bottom of the barrel med school because that's the only place he can get it, as I think it is then harder to get good residencies. But again his choice.

DH and I are leaving this at - we're not funding the gap year, but you're welcome to live here.

I think that sounds harsh, but I don't think you mean how you said it. I think it's fair if you don't want to cover his rent given how close you are (only 20 min away?) but applying to med school is very expensive. Without full support from you, I don't see how he can cover costs of applying. My kid (bio major from a different state U) applied to 50 schools, and I paid $5000+ in app fees. I think you should have him move back home but support him 100% and let him try.

OP here - you're right I didn't mean it how I said it. The deal we've always had with DS (and both our other kids too) is we'll pay all application fees, no matter how many schools he wants to apply to plus reasonable travel - i.e. all interviews, if he wants do a final visit to a school before committing. Unlike undergrad we won't pay for a - hmm it'd be great to go to California for a week and while there sure I'll check out 2 schools. For grad schools, we will only pay if it's part of the application process or the decision process. If it's about just checking out schools before even applying, that's on him.

What we've now made clear to DS is not funding gap year = not paying his rent so he can live in an on campus apartment and not paying for his food costs there. So he can live here and eat free and commute 30 min to school if he ends up doing more shadowing or lab work at UNC (he already has a car we bought him - and we pay insurance on it though he'll pay gas). Or he can live at UNC or anywhere else but then he needs to make sure his EMT/lab jobs throw off enough money that he can make the rent + his exorbitant amounts of Uber eats since he thinks he shouldn't have to grocery shop or cook.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If he truly wants to go to med school, barring academic dishonesty issues, he will. There are people that want it so bad that they apply for multiple app cycles before they get an acceptance.

I’m not sure I agree with that. I know a couple kids who’ve given up after multiple failed admission cycles.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here - I haven't posted his grades and MCAT because I legit don't know them. He's pretty quiet/secretive about it all, and we've taken the approach with all of our kids once in college that they are grown adults and they know the GPAs they need whether the goal is med school, law school, Wall Street, or whatever else.

And since this is anon - I don't think he has what it takes, or else he'd be applying. I mean he went to a state flagship u (UNC)- so not exactly MIT here - and even then wasn't on dean's list every semester and deans list is only a 3.5. So there are definitely certain semesters below a 3.5. That can't bode well for med school. I mean it seems like people with way more perfect grades can barely get into one or two med schools.

As others have said, I'm not going to be the one to crush this dream. But if I'm being honest I really don't want him going to some bottom of the barrel med school because that's the only place he can get it, as I think it is then harder to get good residencies. But again his choice.

DH and I are leaving this at - we're not funding the gap year, but you're welcome to live here.

I think that sounds harsh, but I don't think you mean how you said it. I think it's fair if you don't want to cover his rent given how close you are (only 20 min away?) but applying to med school is very expensive. Without full support from you, I don't see how he can cover costs of applying. My kid (bio major from a different state U) applied to 50 schools, and I paid $5000+ in app fees. I think you should have him move back home but support him 100% and let him try.

Plenty of kids go to med school without rich parents. They only help my parents offered me after college (where I also took on loans) was the ability to sleep in my old bedroom for free. That was it.

A lot of kids pay for med school using loans once they are there. Not many have money for application fees, prep course, purchasing tickets for interviews, hotels…etc. Easily adds up to many thousands of dollars.

They use credit cards. And a lot of interviews are over Zoom now.

Nonsense. No way kids can pay using cc. Interviews are in person now. Zoom might be possible but if you competitors are meeting in person, you going to do zoom? Bad idea.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here - I haven't posted his grades and MCAT because I legit don't know them. He's pretty quiet/secretive about it all, and we've taken the approach with all of our kids once in college that they are grown adults and they know the GPAs they need whether the goal is med school, law school, Wall Street, or whatever else.

And since this is anon - I don't think he has what it takes, or else he'd be applying. I mean he went to a state flagship u (UNC)- so not exactly MIT here - and even then wasn't on dean's list every semester and deans list is only a 3.5. So there are definitely certain semesters below a 3.5. That can't bode well for med school. I mean it seems like people with way more perfect grades can barely get into one or two med schools.

As others have said, I'm not going to be the one to crush this dream. But if I'm being honest I really don't want him going to some bottom of the barrel med school because that's the only place he can get it, as I think it is then harder to get good residencies. But again his choice.

DH and I are leaving this at - we're not funding the gap year, but you're welcome to live here.

I think that sounds harsh, but I don't think you mean how you said it. I think it's fair if you don't want to cover his rent given how close you are (only 20 min away?) but applying to med school is very expensive. Without full support from you, I don't see how he can cover costs of applying. My kid (bio major from a different state U) applied to 50 schools, and I paid $5000+ in app fees. I think you should have him move back home but support him 100% and let him try.

OP here - you're right I didn't mean it how I said it. The deal we've always had with DS (and both our other kids too) is we'll pay all application fees, no matter how many schools he wants to apply to plus reasonable travel - i.e. all interviews, if he wants do a final visit to a school before committing. Unlike undergrad we won't pay for a - hmm it'd be great to go to California for a week and while there sure I'll check out 2 schools. For grad schools, we will only pay if it's part of the application process or the decision process. If it's about just checking out schools before even applying, that's on him.

What we've now made clear to DS is not funding gap year = not paying his rent so he can live in an on campus apartment and not paying for his food costs there. So he can live here and eat free and commute 30 min to school if he ends up doing more shadowing or lab work at UNC (he already has a car we bought him - and we pay insurance on it though he'll pay gas). Or he can live at UNC or anywhere else but then he needs to make sure his EMT/lab jobs throw off enough money that he can make the rent + his exorbitant amounts of Uber eats since he thinks he shouldn't have to grocery shop or cook.

That won't be necessary for med school. He will apply to schools that are generally within his stats. There is no need to visit medical schools for "fit" perspective. You go whichever school accepts you. Generally speaking, your approach is fair and I'd characterize it as you are supporting his gap year as long as his requests are reasonable. Good luck to your family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here - I haven't posted his grades and MCAT because I legit don't know them. He's pretty quiet/secretive about it all, and we've taken the approach with all of our kids once in college that they are grown adults and they know the GPAs they need whether the goal is med school, law school, Wall Street, or whatever else.

And since this is anon - I don't think he has what it takes, or else he'd be applying. I mean he went to a state flagship u (UNC)- so not exactly MIT here - and even then wasn't on dean's list every semester and deans list is only a 3.5. So there are definitely certain semesters below a 3.5. That can't bode well for med school. I mean it seems like people with way more perfect grades can barely get into one or two med schools.

As others have said, I'm not going to be the one to crush this dream. But if I'm being honest I really don't want him going to some bottom of the barrel med school because that's the only place he can get it, as I think it is then harder to get good residencies. But again his choice.

DH and I are leaving this at - we're not funding the gap year, but you're welcome to live here.

I think that sounds harsh, but I don't think you mean how you said it. I think it's fair if you don't want to cover his rent given how close you are (only 20 min away?) but applying to med school is very expensive. Without full support from you, I don't see how he can cover costs of applying. My kid (bio major from a different state U) applied to 50 schools, and I paid $5000+ in app fees. I think you should have him move back home but support him 100% and let him try.

Plenty of kids go to med school without rich parents. They only help my parents offered me after college (where I also took on loans) was the ability to sleep in my old bedroom for free. That was it.

A lot of kids pay for med school using loans once they are there. Not many have money for application fees, prep course, purchasing tickets for interviews, hotels…etc. Easily adds up to many thousands of dollars.

They use credit cards. And a lot of interviews are over Zoom now.

Nonsense. No way kids can pay using cc. Interviews are in person now. Zoom might be possible but if you competitors are meeting in person, you going to do zoom? Bad idea.

+1. Interviews are mostly in person with no zoom option. If you ask for zoom, it's quite possible they could allow it under the guise of pandemic concern/not wanting to fly, but let's be real here of course it will hurt your chances relative to other applicants who go in person - even though no one will ever admit that.

[Anonymous]

I don’t really understand why he won’t share with you his MCAT scores and GPA? And, he expects you to share your credit card for applications?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t really understand why he won’t share with you his MCAT scores and GPA? And, he expects you to share your credit card for applications?

My guess is that his GPA and MCAT scores are not as competitive as he would like. I also think that he may be thinking having additional EMT/research exp may compensate his less than excellent stats. Op, if he is really resisting showing you his GPA/MCAT scores, I'd not force the issue. However, what I'd demand from him is very specific plans for next cycle - including schedule/actions/who will provide LORs, which schools he wants to apply...etc. I'd give him a month to come up with a path forward. Reading your posts, I get the sense that you guys are clearly not on the same page and that's not good.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DS is now an attending physician. He did take 1 gap year after graduation. He had taken the MCAT junior summer and was happy with his scores. Applying to med school is a slog. You complete initial applications, then potential schools send you “secondaries” which are more essay questions + more $$. Then… maybe you get some interviews which you have to schedule and travel to. My DS wasn’t sure he could do this well along with his senior year and he was an athlete, which he didn’t want to give up. So for him, the gap year was a good thing. For more information, take a look at student doctor.net. There is an application forum and you/your son can look at individual schools.

NP here. Can you share what to do to get into a medical school. In addition to Good MCAT, good gpa, research, clinical experience, volunteer experience, what else did he do to standout? Did he attend a top undergrad school? My kid is in sophomore year. Looking for success stories. Sorry OP, do not mean to hijack your thread.