If you know you’ll be inheriting a significant amount

[Anonymous]

It makes much more sense to edit life when you need that much care and leave what you’ve spent your life accruing to your children. That’s my plan.

[Anonymous]

My parents created trusts for me and my siblings a few years ago and put $3M into each. With decent returns over the next 20-25 years each trust will be worth around $10-15M. Anything they don’t spend while alive and their real estate portfolio will be split between me and my siblings. My parents also contribute the max to our kids 529s annually and give us around $30K a year for birthdays and holidays. We may get something from DH’s parents, but I’m not counting on it.

DH and I have three kids, but we are both high earners ($700K HHI) and expect to keep growing in our careers since we are mid-30s. We have a healthy investment account that we contribute to annually and we max out our 401Ks. We spend a lot of money on nanny/preschool for our three kids but when we come up for air in about five years those costs should go way down and our income should have increased quite a bit too. Although I expect we’ll be paying for some afternoon childcare help through at least elementary school and we plan to send kids to private starting in 6th.

I want to think that living within our means and saving as much as we can is good for our kids to see but I also envy people who have access to their trusts or get payouts throughout their lifetime. Having access to my trust at 55 or 60 will be great and with the money we will have saved we can take care of our grandkids college needs, travel, help our kids out as needed, and leave a lot to our kids but it would also be nice to feel like we had more choices now- less pressure to keep climbing and to coast more at least when our kids are young.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My parents created trusts for me and my siblings a few years ago and put $3M into each. With decent returns over the next 20-25 years each trust will be worth around $10-15M. Anything they don’t spend while alive and their real estate portfolio will be split between me and my siblings. My parents also contribute the max to our kids 529s annually and give us around $30K a year for birthdays and holidays. We may get something from DH’s parents, but I’m not counting on it.

DH and I have three kids, but we are both high earners ($700K HHI) and expect to keep growing in our careers since we are mid-30s. We have a healthy investment account that we contribute to annually and we max out our 401Ks. We spend a lot of money on nanny/preschool for our three kids but when we come up for air in about five years those costs should go way down and our income should have increased quite a bit too. Although I expect we’ll be paying for some afternoon childcare help through at least elementary school and we plan to send kids to private starting in 6th.

I want to think that living within our means and saving as much as we can is good for our kids to see but I also envy people who have access to their trusts or get payouts throughout their lifetime. Having access to my trust at 55 or 60 will be great and with the money we will have saved we can take care of our grandkids college needs, travel, help our kids out as needed, and leave a lot to our kids but it would also be nice to feel like we had more choices now- less pressure to keep climbing and to coast more at least when our kids are young.

You earn $700K a year and have plenty. How much more do you NEED now when it sounds like you have a spending issue through your lifestyle choices.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If your parents really had all that much, they would have taken advantage of this era of trumps estate tax exemption to gift to you. Since they havent, to me that means they have something in the five to ten million range. Hate to break it to you, but they could go through most or all of that. My parents' elder care costs 300k per year. Your parents could live another ten to twnety years.

Dont count on it until it is in your bank account.

How can one possibly spend $300K per year on eldercare? And even if it somehow were possible, it would likely entail a level of luxury and self-indulgence that most parents would not engage in in lieu of giving money to their kids and grandkids.

You don’t know what you’re talking about. Do the damn math. I could show you receipts from the elder care company.

Most people don’t have the money to spend $300k per year on elder care. You may as well go around saying elder care is a mandatory 5 million a year. The average person come up with other solutions. It’s why so much of what you expect to inherit depends on spending levels. Are your parents the type who spend $300k a year on something? Did they send kids to private schools, drive luxury cars, expensive travel etc? If so, expect nothing. Are your parents the type who save, save save and refuse to spend an inordinate amount on something just because other people do?

My in-laws have a higher net worth but are big spenders. I expect to inherit $0. They will find a way to spend $300k a year on elder care and swear it’s necessary.

No, my parents are not big spenders. At all. hHeir house is paid off and if they were able and self sufficient they could easily have lived off 50k per year and been comfortable.

We, the children and POAs, are the ones choosing to spend their money on good elder care rather than saving it for our own inheritance. Since the money is there, we are spending it on THEM. Not saving it for ourselves. I guess some people whose parents have millions would instead let their parents sit in wet diapers and not be turned or changed enough so they inherit more. Our parents raised us better than that.

There are two of them. It's easy to spend 150k per person on at home 24-7 elder care. Through an agency you tend to pay 25 to 35 dollars per hour. Do the math. During the day we need two people because my parents are so disabled. We are all mostly busy with careers - which were made possible by the fact our parents sent us through college and grad school. So yeah, we are not going to stingy with their care and leave them alone in their house to sit in wet diapers or fall.

Nope. You’re just big spenders. You’re spending obscene amounts of money unnecessarily.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If your parents really had all that much, they would have taken advantage of this era of trumps estate tax exemption to gift to you. Since they havent, to me that means they have something in the five to ten million range. Hate to break it to you, but they could go through most or all of that. My parents' elder care costs 300k per year. Your parents could live another ten to twnety years.

Dont count on it until it is in your bank account.

It’s a good reality check. My parents’ care and assisted living costs $20,000 per month

That is just dumb.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My parents created trusts for me and my siblings a few years ago and put $3M into each. With decent returns over the next 20-25 years each trust will be worth around $10-15M. Anything they don’t spend while alive and their real estate portfolio will be split between me and my siblings. My parents also contribute the max to our kids 529s annually and give us around $30K a year for birthdays and holidays. We may get something from DH’s parents, but I’m not counting on it.

DH and I have three kids, but we are both high earners ($700K HHI) and expect to keep growing in our careers since we are mid-30s. We have a healthy investment account that we contribute to annually and we max out our 401Ks. We spend a lot of money on nanny/preschool for our three kids but when we come up for air in about five years those costs should go way down and our income should have increased quite a bit too. Although I expect we’ll be paying for some afternoon childcare help through at least elementary school and we plan to send kids to private starting in 6th.

I want to think that living within our means and saving as much as we can is good for our kids to see but I also envy people who have access to their trusts or get payouts throughout their lifetime. Having access to my trust at 55 or 60 will be great and with the money we will have saved we can take care of our grandkids college needs, travel, help our kids out as needed, and leave a lot to our kids but it would also be nice to feel like we had more choices now- less pressure to keep climbing and to coast more at least when our kids are young.

Is this meant to be a joke or troll post?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If your parents really had all that much, they would have taken advantage of this era of trumps estate tax exemption to gift to you. Since they havent, to me that means they have something in the five to ten million range. Hate to break it to you, but they could go through most or all of that. My parents' elder care costs 300k per year. Your parents could live another ten to twnety years.

Dont count on it until it is in your bank account.

It’s a good reality check. My parents’ care and assisted living costs $20,000 per month

That is just dumb.

Exactly. IIRC, the median net worth for 65-year-olds is less than $250K (and this INCLUDES home equity). There’s no way that anybody but the most privileged of the most privileged could even consider spending a quarter million dollars a year on elder care. And while I’m sure you can get slightly better care if you spend more money, there is no epidemic of the elderly spending their days in godforsaken environs.

This is like saying that one has to spend $5 million for a house to be able to live comfortably. Utter nonsense.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If your parents really had all that much, they would have taken advantage of this era of trumps estate tax exemption to gift to you. Since they havent, to me that means they have something in the five to ten million range. Hate to break it to you, but they could go through most or all of that. My parents' elder care costs 300k per year. Your parents could live another ten to twnety years.

Dont count on it until it is in your bank account.

It’s a good reality check. My parents’ care and assisted living costs $20,000 per month

That is just dumb.

Exactly. IIRC, the median net worth for 65-year-olds is less than $250K (and this INCLUDES home equity). There’s no way that anybody but the most privileged of the most privileged could even consider spending a quarter million dollars a year on elder care. And while I’m sure you can get slightly better care if you spend more money, there is no epidemic of the elderly spending their days in godforsaken environs.

This is like saying that one has to spend $5 million for a house to be able to live comfortably. Utter nonsense.

While I agree most people can’t afford $250k a year on elder care and that less (but still) expensive options can be had, there absolutely IS an epidemic of elderly spending their last year in pretty dim conditions.

My grandfather with dementia had the money for memory care but not also a personal aide. My mom would stop by regularly to find him in a wet diaper having skipped a meal because he did know he was supposed to go and no one came to get him. She tried a new place and it was the same. She still worked full time but stopped by before and after work to check on him. And he was one of the lucky ones.

[Anonymous]

I don’t really consider $1m that significant. Care costs about $200k a year. It can go fast. Anyway, I’m not expecting anything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think there is a big difference between knowing you will inherit a significant amount and being in your 40s with parents in your 70s who have $5-10M. To me, a significant amount is closer to knowing you'll inherit $15+M because it's pretty difficult to spend that kind of money down completely if you are over 70 in relatively poor health. If I knew my parents were worth $100M with 3 kids, I probably would make some changes, especially with regards to my savings rate (currently 28%). On the other hand, teaching my kids that savings and living within your means is extremely important is a top priority. In OP's case, expecting to inherit $2-3M which is what I'm guessing from the post probably would not change my behavior.

All that said, the scariest stories are those from parents who remarry after the death of one spouse and then all the plans can go to hell in a second. There are no guarantees in life and you should take care of yourself. Remember most people inherit after their best working years so why would you wait for money?

I am in my 40s with parents in their 70s with probably $10-$20 million and good end-of-life-care insurance, and also some sort of generation-skipping trust of unknown amount from a great-uncle of mine. I am not counting on inheriting a penny as far as my planning goes. For one, I hope my parents live for a long time. For another, I don't see any harm in saving whatever we're able to now. I suppose there could be some tax consequences down the line to worry about if we inherit far more money than we know what to do with, but giving money to charity is an easy way to reduce taxes due, if so. Seems crazy to live far beyond my means now just because I expect to receive money I did absolutely nothing to earn at some unknown point in the future.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think there is a big difference between knowing you will inherit a significant amount and being in your 40s with parents in your 70s who have $5-10M. To me, a significant amount is closer to knowing you'll inherit $15+M because it's pretty difficult to spend that kind of money down completely if you are over 70 in relatively poor health. If I knew my parents were worth $100M with 3 kids, I probably would make some changes, especially with regards to my savings rate (currently 28%). On the other hand, teaching my kids that savings and living within your means is extremely important is a top priority. In OP's case, expecting to inherit $2-3M which is what I'm guessing from the post probably would not change my behavior.

All that said, the scariest stories are those from parents who remarry after the death of one spouse and then all the plans can go to hell in a second. There are no guarantees in life and you should take care of yourself. Remember most people inherit after their best working years so why would you wait for money?

I am in my 40s with parents in their 70s with probably $10-$20 million and good end-of-life-care insurance, and also some sort of generation-skipping trust of unknown amount from a great-uncle of mine. I am not counting on inheriting a penny as far as my planning goes. For one, I hope my parents live for a long time. For another, I don't see any harm in saving whatever we're able to now. I suppose there could be some tax consequences down the line to worry about if we inherit far more money than we know what to do with, but giving money to charity is an easy way to reduce taxes due, if so. Seems crazy to live far beyond my means now just because I expect to receive money I did absolutely nothing to earn at some unknown point in the future.

Weird that $20 million puts one in like the top 0.5% of all Americans, yet tons of people on DCUM claim to have that. Unless, as is probably the case, you are full of it or don’t have any clue how much your parents actually have.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think there is a big difference between knowing you will inherit a significant amount and being in your 40s with parents in your 70s who have $5-10M. To me, a significant amount is closer to knowing you'll inherit $15+M because it's pretty difficult to spend that kind of money down completely if you are over 70 in relatively poor health. If I knew my parents were worth $100M with 3 kids, I probably would make some changes, especially with regards to my savings rate (currently 28%). On the other hand, teaching my kids that savings and living within your means is extremely important is a top priority. In OP's case, expecting to inherit $2-3M which is what I'm guessing from the post probably would not change my behavior.

All that said, the scariest stories are those from parents who remarry after the death of one spouse and then all the plans can go to hell in a second. There are no guarantees in life and you should take care of yourself. Remember most people inherit after their best working years so why would you wait for money?

I am in my 40s with parents in their 70s with probably $10-$20 million and good end-of-life-care insurance, and also some sort of generation-skipping trust of unknown amount from a great-uncle of mine. I am not counting on inheriting a penny as far as my planning goes. For one, I hope my parents live for a long time. For another, I don't see any harm in saving whatever we're able to now. I suppose there could be some tax consequences down the line to worry about if we inherit far more money than we know what to do with, but giving money to charity is an easy way to reduce taxes due, if so. Seems crazy to live far beyond my means now just because I expect to receive money I did absolutely nothing to earn at some unknown point in the future.

Weird that $20 million puts one in like the top 0.5% of all Americans, yet tons of people on DCUM claim to have that. Unless, as is probably the case, you are full of it or don’t have any clue how much your parents actually have.

That's because 0.49% of those richies live in the DCUM area

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My parents created trusts for me and my siblings a few years ago and put $3M into each. With decent returns over the next 20-25 years each trust will be worth around $10-15M. Anything they don’t spend while alive and their real estate portfolio will be split between me and my siblings. My parents also contribute the max to our kids 529s annually and give us around $30K a year for birthdays and holidays. We may get something from DH’s parents, but I’m not counting on it.

DH and I have three kids, but we are both high earners ($700K HHI) and expect to keep growing in our careers since we are mid-30s. We have a healthy investment account that we contribute to annually and we max out our 401Ks. We spend a lot of money on nanny/preschool for our three kids but when we come up for air in about five years those costs should go way down and our income should have increased quite a bit too. Although I expect we’ll be paying for some afternoon childcare help through at least elementary school and we plan to send kids to private starting in 6th.

I want to think that living within our means and saving as much as we can is good for our kids to see but I also envy people who have access to their trusts or get payouts throughout their lifetime. Having access to my trust at 55 or 60 will be great and with the money we will have saved we can take care of our grandkids college needs, travel, help our kids out as needed, and leave a lot to our kids but it would also be nice to feel like we had more choices now- less pressure to keep climbing and to coast more at least when our kids are young.

You are far better off spending earned marital assets rather than money from the trust, since the trust is likely fairly protected from your spouse being able to access it in case of divorce.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If your parents really had all that much, they would have taken advantage of this era of trumps estate tax exemption to gift to you. Since they havent, to me that means they have something in the five to ten million range. Hate to break it to you, but they could go through most or all of that. My parents' elder care costs 300k per year. Your parents could live another ten to twnety years.

Dont count on it until it is in your bank account.

How can one possibly spend $300K per year on eldercare? And even if it somehow were possible, it would likely entail a level of luxury and self-indulgence that most parents would not engage in in lieu of giving money to their kids and grandkids.

You don’t know what you’re talking about. Do the damn math. I could show you receipts from the elder care company.

Most people don’t have the money to spend $300k per year on elder care. You may as well go around saying elder care is a mandatory 5 million a year. The average person come up with other solutions. It’s why so much of what you expect to inherit depends on spending levels. Are your parents the type who spend $300k a year on something? Did they send kids to private schools, drive luxury cars, expensive travel etc? If so, expect nothing. Are your parents the type who save, save save and refuse to spend an inordinate amount on something just because other people do?

My in-laws have a higher net worth but are big spenders. I expect to inherit $0. They will find a way to spend $300k a year on elder care and swear it’s necessary.

No, my parents are not big spenders. At all. hHeir house is paid off and if they were able and self sufficient they could easily have lived off 50k per year and been comfortable.

We, the children and POAs, are the ones choosing to spend their money on good elder care rather than saving it for our own inheritance. Since the money is there, we are spending it on THEM. Not saving it for ourselves. I guess some people whose parents have millions would instead let their parents sit in wet diapers and not be turned or changed enough so they inherit more. Our parents raised us better than that.

There are two of them. It's easy to spend 150k per person on at home 24-7 elder care. Through an agency you tend to pay 25 to 35 dollars per hour. Do the math. During the day we need two people because my parents are so disabled. We are all mostly busy with careers - which were made possible by the fact our parents sent us through college and grad school. So yeah, we are not going to stingy with their care and leave them alone in their house to sit in wet diapers or fall.

Nope. You’re just big spenders. You’re spending obscene amounts of money unnecessarily.

You don't know what the f*** you are talking about. Have YOU ever had to take care of two parents at home using documented, on the books caregivers with the parents both physically disabled and have Parkinsons's and AZ?

Stop being an ass to me. Taking care of disabled people with dementia is hell.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think there is a big difference between knowing you will inherit a significant amount and being in your 40s with parents in your 70s who have $5-10M. To me, a significant amount is closer to knowing you'll inherit $15+M because it's pretty difficult to spend that kind of money down completely if you are over 70 in relatively poor health. If I knew my parents were worth $100M with 3 kids, I probably would make some changes, especially with regards to my savings rate (currently 28%). On the other hand, teaching my kids that savings and living within your means is extremely important is a top priority. In OP's case, expecting to inherit $2-3M which is what I'm guessing from the post probably would not change my behavior.

All that said, the scariest stories are those from parents who remarry after the death of one spouse and then all the plans can go to hell in a second. There are no guarantees in life and you should take care of yourself. Remember most people inherit after their best working years so why would you wait for money?

I am in my 40s with parents in their 70s with probably $10-$20 million and good end-of-life-care insurance, and also some sort of generation-skipping trust of unknown amount from a great-uncle of mine. I am not counting on inheriting a penny as far as my planning goes. For one, I hope my parents live for a long time. For another, I don't see any harm in saving whatever we're able to now. I suppose there could be some tax consequences down the line to worry about if we inherit far more money than we know what to do with, but giving money to charity is an easy way to reduce taxes due, if so. Seems crazy to live far beyond my means now just because I expect to receive money I did absolutely nothing to earn at some unknown point in the future.

Weird that $20 million puts one in like the top 0.5% of all Americans, yet tons of people on DCUM claim to have that. Unless, as is probably the case, you are full of it or don’t have any clue how much your parents actually have.

I know all kinds of people with this kind of money. Most of them are spending it on the kids while alive in the form of private school tuition, funded 529s and lavish vacations. And will still leave a big inheritance. My in-laws will absolutely have that much but don’t believe in giving anything now. The even joke that they will be above the estate tax limit but the taxes are our problem cause they will be dead.