Make $200k, credit card debt, no savings

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I appreciate all the help from most of you.


This is going a little downhill and I just can't cope with the judgment. We've screwed up, spend too much, it's crazy, etc. I know that and need to change. No need to call me a hoarder or act like I'm stupid. We all have our issues, I'm sure you have yours it just might not be money.

You're not stupid, OP.

I don't know where the hoarder comment came from with the pp but you don't really need help.
The answer is right in front of you.
You're living beyond your means and spending frivolusly.

Too much on food, clothes, cigars, and possibly meds.
There are cheaper alternatives.
It sounds as if you're using these things to cope with other things, possibly emotional things.
I don't mean to play arm chair psych so if this doesn't apply, please ignore.

You can easily cut 600-$800 worth of things from your monthly budget and it doesn't even need to be a permanent change just until you get the debt under control.
Your income is fine, you're just splurging a lot.

[Anonymous]

OP, I'll add that in my experience, making these "easy" changes is instantly gratifying and motivating.

I shop too much and it leads to overspending so I vowed no extra purchases in January, and was able to do it - and had extra $$$ for savings for the first time in a while. I didn't suffer, it felt good, and I'm on track to do the same for February.

Find a friend to help keep you accountable, but you'll see the impacts so quickly that I'm feeling optimistic for you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here- I'm probably overly sensitive to all of this. It's hard to face that you've made such a mess of things.

OP, I don't think you are oversensitive. Some posters here get off on judging others. Ignore them. Congrats on taking the first steps towards better money management!

[Anonymous]

OP, you can do this!

Highly recommend the free Dave Ramsey podcast for ongoing motivation. Every day there is 3 hours of normal people calling and getting advice on getting out of debt and success stories of people who have done a 180 on their financial situation.

Good luck!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The credit cards have the 30-30% interest rate. The 401K loans and car loans are 5%.

Sell a car and replace it with a reliable beater. Maybe both. There is no place in your new financial life for paying on two car loans on cars that are in danger of going upside-down.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We need to get a grip! We have no excuses anymore. We make enough money and still life paycheck to paycheck. We spend around $1500 a week on anything other than regular bills like rent, utilizes, car payments, minimum on credit cards… To stay on the budget I put together that would pay $500 a month over the minimum on the credit cards, and $500 a month in savings, we would need to only spend $800 a week on the costs we have more control over. Is that even feasible? There are only two of us.

OP we need to know more. What are your bills exactly where is the money going each month? Are you eating out a lot? Drink a lot? "We spend around $1500 a week on anything other than regular bills" WHERE is that $1500 going each week? This isn't clear at all.

Here's a good idea of where our money goes each week.

250.00 Groceries
60.00 Gas
35.00 Subscriptions
200.00 Eating out
200.00 Clothes, jewelry
100.00 haircuts, skin care, etc
60.00 Dog walker
70.00 House cleaner (I have a bad back and cleaning is really hard for me- every two weeks at 140 each time)
150.00 Amazon- things for house, misc.
200.00 Medical- copays, prescriptions, supplements
100.00 Cigars- husband
25.00 Dog food
50.00 Dog- vet, meds, etc
1,500.00

So I see that we can spend less on just about everything if we grocery shop more carefully, eat at home, stop shopping for clothes and other things we really don't need.

Where are your housing and car payments in this? Where are your insurance costs (home, life, umbrella--which with a $200k HHI you do need)?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We need to get a grip! We have no excuses anymore. We make enough money and still life paycheck to paycheck. We spend around $1500 a week on anything other than regular bills like rent, utilizes, car payments, minimum on credit cards… To stay on the budget I put together that would pay $500 a month over the minimum on the credit cards, and $500 a month in savings, we would need to only spend $800 a week on the costs we have more control over. Is that even feasible? There are only two of us.

OP we need to know more. What are your bills exactly where is the money going each month? Are you eating out a lot? Drink a lot? "We spend around $1500 a week on anything other than regular bills" WHERE is that $1500 going each week? This isn't clear at all.

Here's a good idea of where our money goes each week.

250.00 Groceries
60.00 Gas
35.00 Subscriptions
200.00 Eating out
200.00 Clothes, jewelry
100.00 haircuts, skin care, etc
60.00 Dog walker
70.00 House cleaner (I have a bad back and cleaning is really hard for me- every two weeks at 140 each time)
150.00 Amazon- things for house, misc.
200.00 Medical- copays, prescriptions, supplements
100.00 Cigars- husband
25.00 Dog food
50.00 Dog- vet, meds, etc
1,500.00

So I see that we can spend less on just about everything if we grocery shop more carefully, eat at home, stop shopping for clothes and other things we really don't need.

This is rediculous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The credit cards have the 30-30% interest rate. The 401K loans and car loans are 5%.

Sell a car and replace it with a reliable beater. Maybe both. There is no place in your new financial life for paying on two car loans on cars that are in danger of going upside-down.

This is bad advice. Keep the cars. No more restaurants and budget your groceries. Can you do without the dog walker or cut back? The exercise will be good for you even with a bad back. If you don't exercise and stay mobile over 50, you will end up with even worse medical issues!

We dug ourselves out of 100k of debt after daycare with twins. It is you and your spouse. Also don't totally take divorce off the table. Take care of your credit cards and increae your 401k as much as ypu can. Also if you have a joint account create and allotment to go to a seperate account where you can pay everything you need to. I am happy your DH is talking to you about money but if he wants to ruin his finances, he can manage that fine without you. Sorry to be harsh about that but it sounds like you have been trying to manage a bad marriage for awhile (401k loan) and it is okay to get a divorce. You need to be happy!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The credit cards have the 30-30% interest rate. The 401K loans and car loans are 5%.

Sell a car and replace it with a reliable beater. Maybe both. There is no place in your new financial life for paying on two car loans on cars that are in danger of going upside-down.

This is bad advice. Keep the cars. No more restaurants and budget your groceries. Can you do without the dog walker or cut back? The exercise will be good for you even with a bad back. If you don't exercise and stay mobile over 50, you will end up with even worse medical issues!

We dug ourselves out of 100k of debt after daycare with twins. It is you and your spouse. Also don't totally take divorce off the table. Take care of your credit cards and increae your 401k as much as ypu can. Also if you have a joint account create and allotment to go to a seperate account where you can pay everything you need to. I am happy your DH is talking to you about money but if he wants to ruin his finances, he can manage that fine without you. Sorry to be harsh about that but it sounds like you have been trying to manage a bad marriage for awhile (401k loan) and it is okay to get a divorce. You need to be happy!

It's bad advice on the numbers, but it is good behavioral advice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP I'm sorry, maybe the tone of my post came off badly, I apologize to you. Genuinely. It was not of judgement but more confusion. I'm also sorry you felt judged by me. I didn't mean to make you feel that way. I was trying to help but maybe I didn't, it was not my intention.

This is sweet. The rare nice person on dcum. Good on you for apologizing.

[Anonymous]

I’m just impressed that your husband smokes $100 worth of cigars in a week. I imagine it’s like a few really expensive cigars a week than like a dozen cheaper cigars? I also imagine your bourbon costs are pretty high as well.

[Anonymous]

I think your driving motivation should be that you don't want to be a financial burden to your adult children so you need to get your debt down to zero and THEN start strategically planning for retirement. If your adult children are in relationships do not get sucked into paying for big weddings. If there is that kind of expectation, start managing expectations NOW! Don't do things like finance a wedding or a family vacation on credit cards because you don't want to admit your situation.

And the cigar habit is simply gross. How do you like with that!? Does the smell of cigars permeate everything you own? Your home?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m just impressed that your husband smokes $100 worth of cigars in a week. I imagine it’s like a few really expensive cigars a week than like a dozen cheaper cigars? I also imagine your bourbon costs are pretty high as well.

That's really unhealthy too maybe the medical care won't be so high if he quit smoking.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We need to get a grip! We have no excuses anymore. We make enough money and still life paycheck to paycheck. We spend around $1500 a week on anything other than regular bills like rent, utilizes, car payments, minimum on credit cards… To stay on the budget I put together that would pay $500 a month over the minimum on the credit cards, and $500 a month in savings, we would need to only spend $800 a week on the costs we have more control over. Is that even feasible? There are only two of us.

OP we need to know more. What are your bills exactly where is the money going each month? Are you eating out a lot? Drink a lot? "We spend around $1500 a week on anything other than regular bills" WHERE is that $1500 going each week? This isn't clear at all.

Here's a good idea of where our money goes each week.

250.00 Groceries
60.00 Gas
35.00 Subscriptions
200.00 Eating out
200.00 Clothes, jewelry
100.00 haircuts, skin care, etc
60.00 Dog walker
70.00 House cleaner (I have a bad back and cleaning is really hard for me- every two weeks at 140 each time)
150.00 Amazon- things for house, misc.
200.00 Medical- copays, prescriptions, supplements
100.00 Cigars- husband
25.00 Dog food
50.00 Dog- vet, meds, etc
1,500.00

So I see that we can spend less on just about everything if we grocery shop more carefully, eat at home, stop shopping for clothes and other things we really don't need.

$450 per week on food is excessive that is some people's budget for the entire month.
Stop eating out.

$250 per week on food is plenty.

$200 every week on clothes? No. Once a month.

$150 every week on Amazon? No.

$200 every week on medicals??? Um, every week? I guess.

The $400/month on cigars is an expense that can go. If you do that , perhaps the $800/month on "medical" might be lower

$400/month on haircuts?!??! for 2 people? Find a cheaper place and get it cut once a month at most for guys and 6-8 weeks for women. That should only be $150/month easily

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here-

Thank you all for your help. I’m too embarrassed to talk to people in person. And you all didn’t roast me! You’ve been so encouraging and helpful.

I’m getting therapy and I’ll fess up to the therapist about how bad this issue is.

We’re in our 50’s and having no savings at this age is horrible and I’m ashamed of that. All kids have moved out and on their own so it’s just two of us. We shouldn’t be spending more than we did with all the kids at home.

I have control of the finances but I have a hard time not spending money or telling my husband he needs to stop. Last night I let my husband know how much debt we have and how much we’re spending. He says he’s on board. Now I need to follow through.

I’m not sure about what to pay first- my job is very secure and my 401K has a really low interest rate, so that should probably be left until later. I think either the credit cards or taxes needs to be paid off first. And I’m upside down on both vehicles so they need some of the principal paid off. That’s what happens if you pay more than the minimum, right? Our interest rates are high- 30-36%. We have some with really low amounts but the fees are high. If I pay those off and close the accounts, does that affect my credit rating?

Thanks again!

At some point most men who are in their 50s like to drop mentions of their investments and 401Ks (or so I've noticed). It's surprising to me that your husband doesn't seem to be concerned with retirement plans, much less the significant but surmountable debt you guys have. OP, is it just avoidance on his part, do you think? Is he counting on some sort of inheritance? Has the mindset that his children must take care of him?