My son won’t move out

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:People living off antiquated social norms are so exhausting.

Move out for the sake of moving out? Unless there is family disagreements, how lucky for them to have time together.

Why do people want their kids to learn the hard way? Teach your kids to be adults.

You learn to be an adult…by being an adult.

[Anonymous]

OP, it is time for your son to enlist in the military. He needs life skills, and you have not entrenched them in him. He is a college grad so could enter as an officer.

[Anonymous]

My brother hung around my parents' house for a year after high school and even had the gall to think he could smoke pot in his room. When our dad told my brother he needed to start paying rent he found a roomate situation immediately.

OP, team DH here.

[Anonymous]

I lived in roommates/group house situations til I was 30. so rent was fairly cheap and i Had a built-in social life. I worked my full time job and also a part-time job. By 30 I had saved enough money to put a down payment on a starter house. Amazing surprise, my parents paid the closing costs and some new appliances for me.

*Responsibility* gets rewarded.

[Anonymous]

My SIL lived at home with her parents into her early 40s. That allowed her to save enough money to buy her dream house. I'm not sure what the financial arrangement was but she did buy food and some other things. Her parents were glad to have her at home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Jesus college students are old now no graduated at 21 and that was normal. A handful of friends had turned 22. Turning 27 and graduated 2.5 years ago? He’s almost 30. Tell him to go.

I would say that's still normal. However, not everyone who's older when they graduate college is lazy. For instance, my parents purposely sent me to Kindergarten a year late. Now in college, lazy students take longer than 4 years to graduate, while hard-working students take less than 4 years to graduate. I worked hard to graduated in 3.5 years, but because I had already been held back through no fault of my own, I was already 22 when I graduated. Had I not been held back but still graduated college in a semester, I would've graduated at 21 just like you did. Had I been raised by your parents, I probably would've graduated college at 21, and had you been raised by my parents, you probably would've graduated college at 22. Just something for you to consider.

Nobody here is splitting hairs between 21yo graduates and 22yo graduates. Calm down. I was 22 when I graduated as well, simply because of when my birthday fell in my elementary school system growing up. That’s not who we’re talking about. We’re talking about people still living off of mommy and daddy’s dime at age 25-30 and beyond. It is absurd.

How do you know that such people want to live that way? How do you know they're frequently applying for jobs that would allow them to live on their own? The truth is that there are many employers out there who just don't understand how important it is to be self-supporting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Jesus college students are old now no graduated at 21 and that was normal. A handful of friends had turned 22. Turning 27 and graduated 2.5 years ago? He’s almost 30. Tell him to go.

How do you know he doesn't want to go? Wanting something isn't enough to get it. I would've moved out the moment I turned 18 if I had had a job like the one I have now. But you can't just choose to have a decent-paying job. You have to impress the employers enough for them to want to hire you.

[Anonymous]

I mean does he not date? No way annoying is going to take a loser seriously who lives with his parents…. At age 27!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I mean does he not date? No way annoying is going to take a loser seriously who lives with his parents…. At age 27!!

He's only a loser if he lives with his parents for the rest of their lives. The important thing is that he moves out, not when he moved out. After all, age is just a number.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"You have 30 days to get out, I don't care where you go, as you are an adult, but you can't stay here."

That's it. Don't enable him more.

For the third time, not how it works.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Doing the math, it sounds like your son is 24. I urge you to let him live with you for another 5 years. Not only would you be doing him a great favor, but you'd be doing me a great favor as well. You see, I'd wanted to live on my own since I was 19. But everybody who I asked to help me with that said I would have to get my undergrad degree before I could get a stable enough job. When I finally had my degree at 22, I was glad that it looked like I was apparently about to live on my own, albeit later than I had been hoping. But that still wasn't good enough. Everyone then told me I would have to get a Master's Degree. The only problem is, I didn't have a way to pay for grad school on my own, and everyone I talked to said that their parents didn't help them through grad school. Not wanting to suffer the humiliation of being the only student in college history to have their graduate education paid for by their parents, I kept snatching at job after job, hoping I could just forget about my education and start living on my own anyway. I wasn't offered a job that allowed me to do this until I was 28. As of now, I am probably the oldest person in history to move out of my parents' house into my own house. If, however, your son doesn't until he's 29, he'll have broken my record, and I will no longer bear the humiliation of being the oldest person to have lived at home. Wouldn't it make you feel good knowing you were helping a complete stranger?

Same P. Sorry, I just saw that your son was 26. In that case, you only need to let him live with you another 3 years in order to take my humiliation off my shoulders.

You need therapy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, it is time for your son to enlist in the military. He needs life skills, and you have not entrenched them in him. He is a college grad so could enter as an officer.

LOL. Absolutely not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I lived in roommates/group house situations til I was 30. so rent was fairly cheap and i Had a built-in social life. I worked my full time job and also a part-time job. By 30 I had saved enough money to put a down payment on a starter house. Amazing surprise, my parents paid the closing costs and some new appliances for me.

*Responsibility* gets rewarded.

+100

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I mean does he not date? No way annoying is going to take a loser seriously who lives with his parents…. At age 27!!

He's only a loser if he lives with his parents for the rest of their lives. The important thing is that he moves out, not when he moved out. After all, age is just a number.

LOL. Not to the prospective partner. If you’re 26 and live at home, I’m not dating you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I mean does he not date? No way annoying is going to take a loser seriously who lives with his parents…. At age 27!!

He's only a loser if he lives with his parents for the rest of their lives. The important thing is that he moves out, not when he moved out. After all, age is just a number.

LOL. Not to the prospective partner. If you’re 26 and live at home, I’m not dating you.

But what about if they're living on their own now, but were living at home at 26. You would seriously hold the past against them like that?