Using a popular name anyway?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Use what you like. If you don't mind it being popular, that's all that matters.

I guess the kid doesn’t matter.

The kid will be fine. No child has been harmed by a popular name.

There are a number of women on these boards who feel very harmed by their popular names and who are about to tell you AAAAALLLLL about how being Jennifer #4 ruined their childhood.

However, to help OP and to counteract this inevitable response, I will say what I always say in these threads:

Even the most popular names these days are a fraction of the popularity of the names that were very popular in the 70s/80s/90s. A tiny, tiny fraction. There are no names now like Jennifer or Emily Amanda were back then. Here, look at the top 5 names from 1980 and from 2020

1980:
Jennifer (3.3% of all female babies born that year, 58,379 babies with that name)
Amanda (2.0%, 35,817)
Jessica (1.9%, 33,924)
Melissa (1.8%, 31,639)
Sarah (1.4%, 25,758)

2020:
Olivia (1.0%, 17,535)
Emma (.9%, 15,581)
Ava (.7%, 13,084)
Charlotte (.7%, 13,003)
Sophia (.7%, 12,976)

Or, to frame it differently, if Olivia were exactly as popular in 1980 as it was in 2020 (when it was the most popular girls name) it would have ranked... 14th. And Sophia, Charlotte, and Ava would not even crack the top 20. About as popular as names like Christina, Rachel, Amber, and Jaimie. Not total unknown names, but also not names I associate with ubiquity.

OP, you're fine. Go with the name you like and can agree on and that sounds good with your last name.

Names tend to cluster by demographic, so even those 0.9% names can be more like 5-8% of your child's grade or social group. They're not evenly distributed.

Uh, 5-8%? There is no name that popular in my geographic or demographic area. That's one in 20 kids. I can't think of a single name that popular. Can you?

Also, the most popular names in my area are not top 10 names, specifically because people avoid those names because they want a more unique name. I know three Josephines in my DC's age cohort, for instance. Two Beatrices. Everett is very popular. So is Max. I only know one Isabelle, and one Evelyn. No Olivias and Sophias. ''

OP will almost certainly be going against the grain in giving her child a name that is nationally popular. It is extremely unlikely to cause any issue for her child. Her kid might run into other kids with the same name. But that could happen even if she chose a less popular name.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Names tend to cluster by demographic, so even those 0.9% names can be more like 5-8% of your child's grade or social group. They're not evenly distributed.

Agree with this, which was why I mentioned my Facebook friends. That is social group/SES.

Do any of you get your college magazine and read through the alum births section? I swear it is the same 5-10 names over and over again for my university (I think our student body was around 3600 when I was there)

But are they all top 10 names? That's what's relevant for OP. My general observation is that highly educated people with relatively high SES (which I'm guessing is the general demographic of your LAC alma mater) do tend to give their kids similar names, but not names from the top 10. All the angst you see on this thread illustrates that well, and demonstrates why trying to game it is kind of silly. You will wind up gravitating towards the kinds of names that someone like you is sort of programmed to like based on your background, entertainment habits, social circle, etc. Lean into it. It's fine.

[Anonymous]

This area has more ethnic/cultural diversity, so you are less likely to run into as many kids with the "popular" names in general

[Anonymous]

My baby’s daycare class has no Olivia and no Sophie/Sophia and no Charlotte. Popular doesn’t mean ubiquitous in the 1980’s Jennifer way these days

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Names tend to cluster by demographic, so even those 0.9% names can be more like 5-8% of your child's grade or social group. They're not evenly distributed.

Agree with this, which was why I mentioned my Facebook friends. That is social group/SES.

Do any of you get your college magazine and read through the alum births section? I swear it is the same 5-10 names over and over again for my university (I think our student body was around 3600 when I was there)

But are they all top 10 names? That's what's relevant for OP. My general observation is that highly educated people with relatively high SES (which I'm guessing is the general demographic of your LAC alma mater) do tend to give their kids similar names, but not names from the top 10. All the angst you see on this thread illustrates that well, and demonstrates why trying to game it is kind of silly. You will wind up gravitating towards the kinds of names that someone like you is sort of programmed to like based on your background, entertainment habits, social circle, etc. Lean into it. It's fine.

DP. The girl will eventually turn 18, and her bubble will expand. Top 10 names are still relevant for the OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Names tend to cluster by demographic, so even those 0.9% names can be more like 5-8% of your child's grade or social group. They're not evenly distributed.

Agree with this, which was why I mentioned my Facebook friends. That is social group/SES.

Do any of you get your college magazine and read through the alum births section? I swear it is the same 5-10 names over and over again for my university (I think our student body was around 3600 when I was there)

But are they all top 10 names? That's what's relevant for OP. My general observation is that highly educated people with relatively high SES (which I'm guessing is the general demographic of your LAC alma mater) do tend to give their kids similar names, but not names from the top 10. All the angst you see on this thread illustrates that well, and demonstrates why trying to game it is kind of silly. You will wind up gravitating towards the kinds of names that someone like you is sort of programmed to like based on your background, entertainment habits, social circle, etc. Lean into it. It's fine.

If not all top 10, definitely top 20. All of them names I see talked about here all the time.

You are correct that names are trendy. They always have been.

We all have our own personal experiences with names. That influences our decisions about naming our own children.

[Anonymous]

Honestly as long as you aren't naming your child something moronic like Raelynn, I don't judge. The top 5 names are all lovely, though I prefer the spelling Eva with the same pronunciation as Ava (my family is German).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This area has more ethnic/cultural diversity, so you are less likely to run into as many kids with the "popular" names in general.

+1

People are answering the wrong question, anyway. OP asked "will giving my DD a top 5 name be really annoying/unpleasant for her."

I personally think the answer is no, because top names aren't as popular as they once were. So the biggest argument against using a popular name (it's ubiquitous, will result in lots of peers with that name) just really doesn't apply anymore. I know so few kids with top 10 names, and I have two kids under 5. Names are diverse now. You really can't go wrong.

The problem is that a lot of people are answer the question that wasn't asked, which is "would you give your child a top 5 name, and if not, why not?" Some people really don't want to use a popular name. They have their reasons. All perfectly good reasons! But that's not OP. OP really wants to give her baby a top 5 name, not because it's a top 5 but because she really likes the name and so does her husband and it has meaning for them. Those are all great reasons to pick a name.

Stop complicating the issue. No one is making PPs name their kids Charlotte or Sophia. And I guess I'm sorry that OP's name choice doesn't excite/interest/entertain them. But I don't think OP's goal here is to please people who like really unique names (obviously). It's to find a good name for her DD. Sounds like she's done, honestly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Names tend to cluster by demographic, so even those 0.9% names can be more like 5-8% of your child's grade or social group. They're not evenly distributed.

Agree with this, which was why I mentioned my Facebook friends. That is social group/SES.

Do any of you get your college magazine and read through the alum births section? I swear it is the same 5-10 names over and over again for my university (I think our student body was around 3600 when I was there)

But are they all top 10 names? That's what's relevant for OP. My general observation is that highly educated people with relatively high SES (which I'm guessing is the general demographic of your LAC alma mater) do tend to give their kids similar names, but not names from the top 10. All the angst you see on this thread illustrates that well, and demonstrates why trying to game it is kind of silly. You will wind up gravitating towards the kinds of names that someone like you is sort of programmed to like based on your background, entertainment habits, social circle, etc. Lean into it. It's fine.

DP. The girl will eventually turn 18, and her bubble will expand. Top 10 names are still relevant for the OP.

And, as has been explained, when you expand your bubble wider, these names are really not that common.

OP names her kid Sophia. She meets very few Sophias as a child because it's been deemed "too popular" by all the other parents in her peer group, and she gets to have a pretty uncommon, but lovely and classic, name as a child.

Then Sophia goes to college, graduates, gets a job. She encounters the broader world beyond her subgroup. Where Sophia, despite being a "top 5" name in 2020, is still actually not that common because, again, less than 1% of all female babies (meaning less than .5% of all babies total) get that name in any given year. So in any hundred people Sophia meets, on average, 1/2 person will have the name Sophia.

This is not a big deal. In a weird way, top 10 names get more evenly distributed through the population than other names because, being POPULAR, they can no longer become TRENDY. The trendy names are the ones currently ranked in the 300s that are about to jump up the charts. And it's hard to know which ones they are unless you are obsessed. OP has selected a remarkably safe name that is unlikely to ever cause any issues for her DD. Is it exciting? No. But names don't have to be exciting. She's naming a person, not a tech start-up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Names tend to cluster by demographic, so even those 0.9% names can be more like 5-8% of your child's grade or social group. They're not evenly distributed.

Agree with this, which was why I mentioned my Facebook friends. That is social group/SES.

Do any of you get your college magazine and read through the alum births section? I swear it is the same 5-10 names over and over again for my university (I think our student body was around 3600 when I was there)

But are they all top 10 names? That's what's relevant for OP. My general observation is that highly educated people with relatively high SES (which I'm guessing is the general demographic of your LAC alma mater) do tend to give their kids similar names, but not names from the top 10. All the angst you see on this thread illustrates that well, and demonstrates why trying to game it is kind of silly. You will wind up gravitating towards the kinds of names that someone like you is sort of programmed to like based on your background, entertainment habits, social circle, etc. Lean into it. It's fine.

DP. The girl will eventually turn 18, and her bubble will expand. Top 10 names are still relevant for the OP.

And, as has been explained, when you expand your bubble wider, these names are really not that common.

OP names her kid Sophia. She meets very few Sophias as a child because it's been deemed "too popular" by all the other parents in her peer group, and she gets to have a pretty uncommon, but lovely and classic, name as a child.

Then Sophia goes to college, graduates, gets a job. She encounters the broader world beyond her subgroup. Where Sophia, despite being a "top 5" name in 2020, is still actually not that common because, again, less than 1% of all female babies (meaning less than .5% of all babies total) get that name in any given year. So in any hundred people Sophia meets, on average, 1/2 person will have the name Sophia.

This is not a big deal. In a weird way, top 10 names get more evenly distributed through the population than other names because, being POPULAR, they can no longer become TRENDY. The trendy names are the ones currently ranked in the 300s that are about to jump up the charts. And it's hard to know which ones they are unless you are obsessed. OP has selected a remarkably safe name that is unlikely to ever cause any issues for her DD. Is it exciting? No. But names don't have to be exciting. She's naming a person, not a tech start-up.

Except that “Sophia” is not distributed as evenly as you think.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No one name is anywhere near as popular as Jennifer or Mary was once upon a time. In my elementary class with 22 girls, 4 were named Jennifer. That doesn't happen any more.

Ava and Madison/Maddie is the new Jennifer. I know at least five Avas under 18 and countless Maddies

[Anonymous]

As a person with what was an unusual name when I was born that's spelled like a name that's popular now, but isn't spelled how my name's pronounced, I say go for the common name with the common spelling. Uncommon can be a giant PITA.

[Anonymous]

My 4 kids have a top 5 or top 10 name, yet they’ve never had a kid with the same name in their class or on a sports team.

[Anonymous]

My husbands name is Matt. He LOVES having a super common name.

My name is weird and in the 800s when I was born. I hated it. Hated being the kid with the weird name. Got teased a ton.

If you think your basic name is a curse you are a snowflake.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No one name is anywhere near as popular as Jennifer or Mary was once upon a time. In my elementary class with 22 girls, 4 were named Jennifer. That doesn't happen any more.

Ava and Madison/Maddie is the new Jennifer. I know at least five Avas under 18 and countless Maddies

I don't think I've met any Avas or Madisons. The only Maddie I've met is a Madeleine and I've met one Eva.