Anyone move for better schools and regret it?

[Anonymous]

We moved from a GS5 to GS10. Old neighborhood was 30% FARMS/ESOL. New school is virtually no FARMS and 5%ESOL. 1% Black. 2% Hispanic. We live in a beautiful lonely house. The kids and I had so many friends previously. Now there is no one on our block. Some old people wave and say hello occasionally. I want to move back to my old neighborhood.

[Anonymous]

Yeah. Not so much I would move back but two years in and neighbors are nice but it is not the same as our old neighborhood.

[Anonymous]

We moved from a GS3 to a GS9. There are lots of kids in the neighborhood, new families moving in every year. The kids at our school are well-behaved, polite. It is a center school so the AAP kids are academically-focused. We have no regrets about moving.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We moved from a GS5 to GS10. Old neighborhood was 30% FARMS/ESOL. New school is virtually no FARMS and 5%ESOL. 1% Black. 2% Hispanic. We live in a beautiful lonely house. The kids and I had so many friends previously. Now there is no one on our block. Some old people wave and say hello occasionally. I want to move back to my old neighborhood.

Don't be disheartened OP. You made the move keeping the kids schools in mind. It may take a little time, but you will surely make friends in the neighborhood, atleast some.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We moved from a GS5 to GS10. Old neighborhood was 30% FARMS/ESOL. New school is virtually no FARMS and 5%ESOL. 1% Black. 2% Hispanic. We live in a beautiful lonely house. The kids and I had so many friends previously. Now there is no one on our block. Some old people wave and say hello occasionally. I want to move back to my old neighborhood.

Then move back.

[Anonymous]

OP, I felt exactly the same when we moved 2 yrs ago (similar demographics). I still miss our old neighborhood and go there all the time for my errands and various activities. I'm making the new place work, but I secretly (or not so secretly) plan to move back there in 6 yrs when the kids are out of HS. I'm willing to play the long game. The old area is just a whole lot easier to get around and we have a history with the families/kids there that we will never have here b/c our kids are now older and there aren't opportunities for us to be involved like we were when they were little.

On the positive side (the side that allows me to stick it out for awhile), we did accomplish what we set out to do (reduce DH's commute and get better schools/learning atmosphere for our kids). At our former pyramid, I had multiple parents tell me that in the regular classes (ie. non-honors/non-AP), there are kids who are so disruptive that either the teachers can't teach the 5 kids who want to learn or the teachers quit and then the sub quits, etc. It's all well and good to plan for your kid to take all honors, but my High Schooler is not committed enough to take honors in some subjects, and in other subjects (ie. foreign language, PE, other electives) there isn't an "honors" class to take. So, s/he is going to be with the general population. Being in a school where the "general population" is not running off the teachers or disrupting the class is one of the big positives for moving into this pyramid. DC has not reported any behavioral problems in class for the past two years.

I think my kids could still have received a good education in the lower pyramid, but it would have come with some crap and disruption that they won't have so much of in this pyramid.

I was reading a Carolyn Hax column where someone mentioned "regret theory" -- the idea that you have to assume every decision would result in some regret and the goal is to pick the option that will have the least regret. That made some sense to me -- reminding me that we would have had regrets if we stayed where we were and we heard reports from our kids about what was happening in class or the hallways. Nothing is perfect. And since we are here now, we might as well make the best of it. We can make a different decision later if we want to, but for now, we are here.

[Anonymous]

We moved to a better school pyramid (although not "because" of the better school pyramid) and there hasn't been one day that I've regretted it. But my commute improved as well, and I did want to avoid IB-feeder schools.

[Anonymous]

Wow, I cannot stop reading OP's post and thinking they are listing fewer black/Hispanic children is a great reason to move.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I felt exactly the same when we moved 2 yrs ago (similar demographics). I still miss our old neighborhood and go there all the time for my errands and various activities. I'm making the new place work, but I secretly (or not so secretly) plan to move back there in 6 yrs when the kids are out of HS. I'm willing to play the long game. The old area is just a whole lot easier to get around and we have a history with the families/kids there that we will never have here b/c our kids are now older and there aren't opportunities for us to be involved like we were when they were little.

On the positive side (the side that allows me to stick it out for awhile), we did accomplish what we set out to do (reduce DH's commute and get better schools/learning atmosphere for our kids). At our former pyramid, I had multiple parents tell me that in the regular classes (ie. non-honors/non-AP), there are kids who are so disruptive that either the teachers can't teach the 5 kids who want to learn or the teachers quit and then the sub quits, etc. It's all well and good to plan for your kid to take all honors, but my High Schooler is not committed enough to take honors in some subjects, and in other subjects (ie. foreign language, PE, other electives) there isn't an "honors" class to take. So, s/he is going to be with the general population. Being in a school where the "general population" is not running off the teachers or disrupting the class is one of the big positives for moving into this pyramid. DC has not reported any behavioral problems in class for the past two years.

I think my kids could still have received a good education in the lower pyramid, but it would have come with some crap and disruption that they won't have so much of in this pyramid.

I was reading a Carolyn Hax column where someone mentioned "regret theory" -- the idea that you have to assume every decision would result in some regret and the goal is to pick the option that will have the least regret. That made some sense to me -- reminding me that we would have had regrets if we stayed where we were and we heard reports from our kids about what was happening in class or the hallways. Nothing is perfect. And since we are here now, we might as well make the best of it. We can make a different decision later if we want to, but for now, we are here.

+1

This sums it up well, OP. Everyone has been in your shoes, at one time or another. And you know what the people in the top schools will tell you, if they are honest? That they are "here for the schools, like everyone else!" How refreshing is that? There are a few self assigned gate keepers that have only their property values in mind (maybe they know they got lucky at one time or another; or their house is their only asset, who knows) and try to play "nothing to see here", but it ends up being funny.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We moved from a GS5 to GS10. Old neighborhood was 30% FARMS/ESOL. New school is virtually no FARMS and 5%ESOL. 1% Black. 2% Hispanic. We live in a beautiful lonely house. The kids and I had so many friends previously. Now there is no one on our block. Some old people wave and say hello occasionally. I want to move back to my old neighborhood.

Then move back.

You are proving OP right, you know.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow, I cannot stop reading OP's post and thinking they are listing fewer black/Hispanic children is a great reason to move.

Because too many people associate "better" schools with whiter schools in their thinking, and contribute to segregation.
https://www.citylab.com/equity/2018/01/when-white-parents-wont-integrate-public-schools/551612/
http://educationpost.org/for-too-many-parents-good-schools-still-mean-white-schools/

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I felt exactly the same when we moved 2 yrs ago (similar demographics). I still miss our old neighborhood and go there all the time for my errands and various activities. I'm making the new place work, but I secretly (or not so secretly) plan to move back there in 6 yrs when the kids are out of HS. I'm willing to play the long game. The old area is just a whole lot easier to get around and we have a history with the families/kids there that we will never have here b/c our kids are now older and there aren't opportunities for us to be involved like we were when they were little.

On the positive side (the side that allows me to stick it out for awhile), we did accomplish what we set out to do (reduce DH's commute and get better schools/learning atmosphere for our kids). At our former pyramid, I had multiple parents tell me that in the regular classes (ie. non-honors/non-AP), there are kids who are so disruptive that either the teachers can't teach the 5 kids who want to learn or the teachers quit and then the sub quits, etc. It's all well and good to plan for your kid to take all honors, but my High Schooler is not committed enough to take honors in some subjects, and in other subjects (ie. foreign language, PE, other electives) there isn't an "honors" class to take. So, s/he is going to be with the general population. Being in a school where the "general population" is not running off the teachers or disrupting the class is one of the big positives for moving into this pyramid. DC has not reported any behavioral problems in class for the past two years.

I think my kids could still have received a good education in the lower pyramid, but it would have come with some crap and disruption that they won't have so much of in this pyramid.

I was reading a Carolyn Hax column where someone mentioned "regret theory" -- the idea that you have to assume every decision would result in some regret and the goal is to pick the option that will have the least regret. That made some sense to me -- reminding me that we would have had regrets if we stayed where we were and we heard reports from our kids about what was happening in class or the hallways. Nothing is perfect. And since we are here now, we might as well make the best of it. We can make a different decision later if we want to, but for now, we are here.

+1

This sums it up well, OP. Everyone has been in your shoes, at one time or another. And you know what the people in the top schools will tell you, if they are honest? That they are "here for the schools, like everyone else!" How refreshing is that? There are a few self assigned gate keepers that have only their property values in mind (maybe they know they got lucky at one time or another; or their house is their only asset, who knows) and try to play "nothing to see here", but it ends up being funny.

PP’s post made sense. It’s not really clear what you are trying to say.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow, I cannot stop reading OP's post and thinking they are listing fewer black/Hispanic children is a great reason to move.

Because too many people associate "better" schools with whiter schools in their thinking, and contribute to segregation.
https://www.citylab.com/equity/2018/01/when-white-parents-wont-integrate-public-schools/551612/
http://educationpost.org/for-too-many-parents-good-schools-still-mean-white-schools/

Oh yes, of course.

Usually the racism I read on DCUM is way more dog-whistley, not this blatant "the fewer brown children, the better" racism from OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I felt exactly the same when we moved 2 yrs ago (similar demographics). I still miss our old neighborhood and go there all the time for my errands and various activities. I'm making the new place work, but I secretly (or not so secretly) plan to move back there in 6 yrs when the kids are out of HS. I'm willing to play the long game. The old area is just a whole lot easier to get around and we have a history with the families/kids there that we will never have here b/c our kids are now older and there aren't opportunities for us to be involved like we were when they were little.

On the positive side (the side that allows me to stick it out for awhile), we did accomplish what we set out to do (reduce DH's commute and get better schools/learning atmosphere for our kids). At our former pyramid, I had multiple parents tell me that in the regular classes (ie. non-honors/non-AP), there are kids who are so disruptive that either the teachers can't teach the 5 kids who want to learn or the teachers quit and then the sub quits, etc. It's all well and good to plan for your kid to take all honors, but my High Schooler is not committed enough to take honors in some subjects, and in other subjects (ie. foreign language, PE, other electives) there isn't an "honors" class to take. So, s/he is going to be with the general population. Being in a school where the "general population" is not running off the teachers or disrupting the class is one of the big positives for moving into this pyramid. DC has not reported any behavioral problems in class for the past two years.

I think my kids could still have received a good education in the lower pyramid, but it would have come with some crap and disruption that they won't have so much of in this pyramid.

I was reading a Carolyn Hax column where someone mentioned "regret theory" -- the idea that you have to assume every decision would result in some regret and the goal is to pick the option that will have the least regret. That made some sense to me -- reminding me that we would have had regrets if we stayed where we were and we heard reports from our kids about what was happening in class or the hallways. Nothing is perfect. And since we are here now, we might as well make the best of it. We can make a different decision later if we want to, but for now, we are here.

+1

This sums it up well, OP. Everyone has been in your shoes, at one time or another. And you know what the people in the top schools will tell you, if they are honest? That they are "here for the schools, like everyone else!" How refreshing is that? There are a few self assigned gate keepers that have only their property values in mind (maybe they know they got lucky at one time or another; or their house is their only asset, who knows) and try to play "nothing to see here", but it ends up being funny.

PP’s post made sense. It’s not really clear what you are trying to say.

This (second) PP here. Agreed. It did make sense. Other PPs don't want to hear about something that may or may not be wrong in the jurisdiction where they own property.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We moved from a GS5 to GS10. Old neighborhood was 30% FARMS/ESOL. New school is virtually no FARMS and 5%ESOL. 1% Black. 2% Hispanic. We live in a beautiful lonely house. The kids and I had so many friends previously. Now there is no one on our block. Some old people wave and say hello occasionally. I want to move back to my old neighborhood.

Then move back.

You are proving OP right, you know.

So? If she's happier there and liked the school, she should just move back.