Strategy questions

[Anonymous]

I'm still looking at options for my 5th grader, but have identified 2 schools that I think would be a great fit, so now I need to figure out how to plan the application process.

I had the tour at one of them today, and wondered what the etiquette is for thank you notes. Should I send one to the AD who gave us the tour? If so, should it be a quick "Thank you" or a more detailed "Loved your school, here's why I think it's the perfect fit for my kid." kind of thing?

Also, I'd love other people's strategy thoughts. Any thoughts on how to choose whether to have him take the SSAT or ISEE and what test prep strategies pay off? One school offers a choice of having your child tour with admissions director or shadow a student for the day? Any thoughts on how to choose? If you have a "first choice school" did you write a letter or otherwise let them know?

Finally, I'd love some suggestions on other places to look. Here's our list of requirements for my fantastic kid.

6th grade as an entry year (doesn't have to be the only entry year).

School culture: I want there to be warmth and mutual respect between students and adults, with adults accessible and used as resources. I'd like progressive ideals, but also have a child who loves formality and ritual. I'd also like a place that ensures that every child has a voice in the classroom, and teachers who will help my sometimes shy kid find that voice. I also want a place where diversity is celebrated.

Outdoor space/time: My son seems to gather energy from being out in the sunshine, and still loves some time to run around. So, schools like Burke where kids are inside all day are not for him.

A great drama program, including strong stagecraft. This is a passion of my son's. Also, other arts.

Academics: I think my son would benefit from some structured approaches to teaching things like notetaking and study skills, combined with hands on activities such as science experiments etc . . . I want rich content area instruction, with an emphasis on writing across all disciplines. I also want academics that are rigorous, but not to the point where kids have no time for other things -- I want my kid to be able to play a sport and build the set for the school play, and still get his homework done, and be able to stop working and eat dinner with mom. I don't see a need for kids to be doing college level work in high school (or at least not my particular kid), but I want the high school level work they do to be interesting and engaging with an opportunity to dig deep. I also have a kid who is not particularly motivated by competition.

No cut athletics.

Religion: I'm pretty agnostic, but right now my son thinks he might be Christian (fine with me!) so a school that includes religious instruction might be nice, but isn't mandatory.

I'd love the school to go through 12th, but can live with switching again after 8th if there's a perfect fit out there.

[Anonymous]

A quick observation: No cut athletics? That really limits you!

[Anonymous]

GDS

And don't write thank you notes for tours.

[Anonymous]

OP here.

I'm actually not finding the no-cut athletics to be an issue, the schools that I like culture wise (and some that I don't) generally have a no-cut policy anyway.

To be clear I don't care if there's an A team, and a B team (or even a C) or as one school put it Varsity, JV, and "3V", I just want my kid to have the opportunity to play.

[Anonymous]

GDS has cut sports, I believe. They have an A and B team for Middle School soccer. OP can ask AD.

[Anonymous]

Also, I thought AD's appreciated short thank you notes, a few lines, such as: We enjoyed the tour. We will be in touch with our application. Good luck.

[Anonymous]

OP - Then clarify the sports policy with AD's. Coaches play to win, your son could make a B team but get little or not playing time from what I've seen. (My son is in Middle School and has friends at a cross section of independents so I know the drill!) Truth be told, I wonder what level of understanding the ADs have about how the teams are handled! And it can change from year to year, depending on how many players go out for a team.

[Anonymous]

OP again.

Hmmm GDS. I had sort of grouped them in my mind with Sidwell, St. Alban's, and Maret -- all of which I think are too much academic pressure for my particular child. My child is bright and certainly academically capable, but he's also not particularly competitive, and I think would do better in a classroom with a more diverse range of academic abilities. He's also a kid who loves both the sports and the arts, not to mention spending time with his family, and I want a school that will allow that balance. I ruled out the schools in my list for that reason.

Do you think GDS warrants a second look?

[Anonymous]

I think GDS does warrent a second look. Based on what you're looking for, one of the K-8's might be the best fit for now - look at Sheridan, Norwood, Green Acres, WES, St. Pat's - some of these are pretty different from one another so you'll have to see what feels best to you, but at all of them you'll get the warmer, gentler, no-cut atmosphere. If you can wait one more year, it sounds like your son would be perfect for Field which starts in 7th (or it'd be a good place to look for high school if you went with a K-8).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP again.

Hmmm GDS. I had sort of grouped them in my mind with Sidwell, St. Alban's, and Maret -- all of which I think are too much academic pressure for my particular child. My child is bright and certainly academically capable, but he's also not particularly competitive, and I think would do better in a classroom with a more diverse range of academic abilities. He's also a kid who loves both the sports and the arts, not to mention spending time with his family, and I want a school that will allow that balance. I ruled out the schools in my list for that reason.

Do you think GDS warrants a second look?

Higher up the grade chain at GDS, the more competitive. I think some folks are taken in by the progressive, informal roots of GDS, not realizing that calling the head of school by first name doesn't make it any less of a grind than the others schools listed by OP.

[Anonymous]

Burgundy Farm. Don't know where you live, but there are people who commute from DC. It meets all of your criteria with the exception of formal religion instruction. There's more of a comparative religions out look. The 6th 7th and 8th grade classes do a production fo some sort each year. Group /team building is as important as the final production, but they do a pretty fine jobs. Kids who are especially interested in drama usually are coached and invited to & recognized at the Folger Shakespeare Festival in the spring. Etc. Etc. etc. Don't know what the openings are for next year, but with family moves and 6th being a slight expansion year chances are good for a good candidate. Also, strong connections with area schools for HS placement. Sports are open to all, though the tams have been remarkably successful. Yes, there are first and second teams, but I think no cuts, for most. Can't offer advice on the testing though, sorry.

[Anonymous]

Progressive ideals, mutual respect between kids and adults, drama/stagecraft program, lots of writing, hands-on science, and everybody plays athletics -- even the emphasis on note-taking skills and organization all said GDS to me. Basically, you just described their MS curriculum. My DC (who hates competition as a motivator) has thrived there and has plenty of time for family and fun. (Then again, DC stays up late and doesn't do a ton of programmed after-school/weekend extra-curriculars, so YMMV.)

There's a wider range of academic abilities than you might think, but it is a heavy workload. Competitiveness isn't necessary; curiosity works just as well (or better!) as a motivator there. And it's not a place where you have to be top at the top of the class to get a good education or to get admitted into a good college. So, abstractly, I wouldn't rule it out based on things you've said.

But I can certainly imagine kids for whom the academics are a dealbreaker (e.g. kids who will do the needful and do it reasonably well but don't particularly enjoy academics. Or kids who actively dislike being around highly competitive people (because there certainly are some --even though you don't have to be one to do well).)

[Anonymous]

You should look at Bullis - I think it has everything you are looking for with the exception of stagecraft building in the middle school. Middle schoolers can do Tech for the middle school musical, but stagecraft and set design don't start until high school. That said, if your child really has a passion for set design in middle school they would probably find an opportunity to tap into his interest. Goodl luck!

[Anonymous]

OP here,

Bullis is actually one of the 2 that seem to jump out at me. I was wondering if someone would suggest it. Do you have a child there? What have your experiences been?

[Anonymous]

A sincere note after the tour does make a difference if the school philosophy is the same as yours and the note expresses that. What that note really says is this is what I am looking for and I will choose you if you choose me. The yield is important to the AD. They do not really want to offer admission to a family that doesn't register and then have to go to the wait list.