Cousin admitted she smoked her entire pregnancy.

[Anonymous]

And frankly I'm really upset about it. She lied and said she quit, brought up multiple times how hard quitting was etc but yay she did it! Fast forward to the baby is here and she started up again. I told her I was surprised she'd smoke again so soon with a newborn and how hard it was to quit. She said that well she never actually quit and still smoked 2-3 a day and he's fine (as if she's rubbing it in my face he wasn't born with a third arm). I was really taken aback and got off the phone shortly thereafter.

What do you even do with this disturbing information? I don't even want to talk to her again but it's her baby and her life. I'm just really disappointed she lied multiple times to me about it and also disgusted she'd do that. Poor baby. How would you proceed?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:And frankly I'm really upset about it. She lied and said she quit, brought up multiple times how hard quitting was etc but yay she did it! Fast forward to the baby is here and she started up again. I told her I was surprised she'd smoke again so soon with a newborn and how hard it was to quit. She said that well she never actually quit and still smoked 2-3 a day and he's fine (as if she's rubbing it in my face he wasn't born with a third arm). I was really taken aback and got off the phone shortly thereafter.

What do you even do with this disturbing information? I don't even want to talk to her again but it's her baby and her life. I'm just really disappointed she lied multiple times to me about it and also disgusted she'd do that. Poor baby. How would you proceed?

Two cigs a day or two packs a day?


You are not the pregnancy police. Odds are her baby will be fine will no ill effects.

[Anonymous]

It totally sucks but there’s nothing you can do. And I say this as someone whose mother died of lung cancer likely caused by her mother smoking during pregnancy and while she was a child.

[Anonymous]

My grandma smoked throughout her pregnancy (before they knew it was bad) and my dad still became a rocket scientist, so....a) it’s not ideal for sure, but by itself it won’t doom him to a terrible life and b) even if it did, there is unfortunately nothing you can do about it.

[Anonymous]

Agree with PP, you're not the pregnancy police. It's not a great thing to do and certainly not a choice I would make but it isn't your business.

[Anonymous]

My mom admitted to me she smoked while pregnant with me, but said she cut way back. Sometimes I’m angry, but I also understand how hard it is to quit and how much pressure she was under and I forgive her.

Also I turned it pretty ok.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My mom admitted to me she smoked while pregnant with me, but said she cut way back. Sometimes I’m angry, but I also understand how hard it is to quit and how much pressure she was under and I forgive her.

Also I turned it pretty ok.

Except for not being able to catch typos.

[Anonymous]

My MIL smoked through all 3 of her pregnancies and her children grew up to be a dr, lawyer and phd.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My MIL smoked through all 3 of her pregnancies and her children grew up to be a dr, lawyer and phd.

My mother did the same for all 3 of us.

OP I don't think you realize how common smoking during pregnancy was back in the 70's and even in the 80's. While it's not ideal, it is also in no way a death sentence or even a debilitating issue most of the time.

[Anonymous]

You can't control other people. You can pas judgement on them if you wish but thats rather exhausting is it not?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My MIL smoked through all 3 of her pregnancies and her children grew up to be a dr, lawyer and phd.

My mother did the same for all 3 of us.

OP I don't think you realize how common smoking during pregnancy was back in the 70's and even in the 80's. While it's not ideal, it is also in no way a death sentence or even a debilitating issue most of the time.

Some women were encouraged to smoke to prevent excessive weight gain. It's bad, but it's not the end of the world. She probably lied because she didn't want to face criticism and judgment. It sounds like she cut back, at least, if she only smoked 2-3 times a day, but it's hard to quit and she failed. There's really nothing for you to "do" with this information. She made a mistake, but there's nothing to be done about it now. Be supportive and encouraging of her trying to quit again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:And frankly I'm really upset about it. She lied and said she quit, brought up multiple times how hard quitting was etc but yay she did it! Fast forward to the baby is here and she started up again. I told her I was surprised she'd smoke again so soon with a newborn and how hard it was to quit. She said that well she never actually quit and still smoked 2-3 a day and he's fine (as if she's rubbing it in my face he wasn't born with a third arm). I was really taken aback and got off the phone shortly thereafter.

What do you even do with this disturbing information? I don't even want to talk to her again but it's her baby and her life. I'm just really disappointed she lied multiple times to me about it and also disgusted she'd do that. Poor baby. How would you proceed?

Two cigs a day or two packs a day?


You are not the pregnancy police. Odds are her baby will be fine will no ill effects.

Again the same posters come out to prioritize not "policing" women over the health of the unborn babies

[Anonymous]

Not too many years ago, smoking during pregnancy wasn't a big deal at all. Is it ideal? Of course not. Would I do it? Never. But I don't think it's catastrophic to smoke a couple of cigarettes a day.

Still, smoking is a disgusting habit.

[Anonymous]

Gross.

Still, not my baby, not my problem.

[Anonymous]

MYOB.