Slept Over at New Girlfriends..

[Anonymous]

My girlfriend of 2 months invited me to stay over for the first time last night. We were closer to her place after dinner, so I said yes. We got caught in the rain, showered, and had sex. While throwing my wet clothes in the dryer, she gives me a shirt to wear with my boxers. I was a little taken back that she has men shirts in her home, but her explanation was she likes to sleep in oversized shirts, and men are naturally bigger. There were no other male things at her place, but I just find the shirt thing weird. She hasn’t given me any reason to not trust her, and she’s not the type to sleep around. I was also a little surprised that she had an open box of condoms at her place. I assume in anticipation of me staying over, but don’t know why they would be open. I’m worried that I might not be the only person she’s dating.

[Anonymous]

if you are sleeping with someone you ought to be able to have a discussion about whether you are exclusive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:if you are sleeping with someone you ought to be able to have a discussion about whether you are exclusive.

+1. If this is a concern, it's time for the DTR conversation.

[Anonymous]

Woman here. An ex of mine kept some athletic clothing at my place. Basketball shorts are comfy so after the break up, I requested to keep them and he was olay with it. No big deal. Also about the condoms, I'm assuming that she slept with men prior to you. Question, are you guys exclusive or just dating?

[Anonymous]

The shirt thing is pretty normal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Woman here. An ex of mine kept some athletic clothing at my place. Basketball shorts are comfy so after the break up, I requested to keep them and he was olay with it. No big deal. Also about the condoms, I'm assuming that she slept with men prior to you. Question, are you guys exclusive or just dating?

OP here. That may the case. She brought up being exclusive before sleeping together. She said she hadn’t been with anymore before me in about 6 months, and they used birth control, not condoms.

[Anonymous]

Are you 18?

[Anonymous]

Better than the time I was beginning to get hot and heavy with a woman til I pulled down her bedsheets and an empty condom wrapper was revealed. I wasn’t expecting a 30 year old virgin, but if she’d had sex with someone else more recently than she changed her bedsheets, I wanted nothing to do with her. I got out of there in less than two minutes.

[Anonymous]

Guy here.

1) Condoms expire every four years or so. I doubt you're her first in that many years, so she probably just kept them just in case. The whole "better to have them and not need them" thing.

2) I know plenty of women who sleep or lounge around in men's shirts. Did it belong to a previous guy? Possibly, but don't be so insecure. If she were keeping it for some sentimental reason, she wouldn't let you put your scent on it.

3) Women aren't sloppy when it comes to "multitasking." You would've never seen the shirt or the condoms if she really were sneaking around behind your back.

4) If you really want to know, ask her. Just be careful...never ask a question if you can't handle the answer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Woman here. An ex of mine kept some athletic clothing at my place. Basketball shorts are comfy so after the break up, I requested to keep them and he was olay with it. No big deal. Also about the condoms, I'm assuming that she slept with men prior to you. Question, are you guys exclusive or just dating?

OP here. That may the case. She brought up being exclusive before sleeping together. She said she hadn’t been with anymore before me in about 6 months, and they used birth control, not condoms.

Then you should both get STD testing done.

[Anonymous]

Oh honey I wear an oversized t-shirt to bed every night. Also as was mentioned above, it's entirely possible she has had those condoms for awhile. Not sure you're ready to be serious with this woman. You sound a little insecure. I mean, maybe she's doing other things to make you feel insecure but I wouldn't settle on these two things as anything you should be worried about. But then you know yourself and what you need so pay attention to that.

[Anonymous]

It’s probably an ex’s t-short, and I doubt that it’s been 6 months since she had sex. But there’s such a stigma around women and sex that we often feel like we need to lie about these things. Since you’re posting online about your “concerns”, you’re probably one of those guys that would flip out over the truth.

[Anonymous]

My only concern here is that if the box of condoms was open, had they expired?

Otherwise, totally normal.

[Anonymous]

Def wouldn’t worry about the shirts. I wore my husband’s XL when I was pregnant and too big for mine and never gave them up even now 4 months pp (and back down to 105 lbs).

[Anonymous]

Don’t worry, if you’re going to be this insecure over every little thing, she won’t be your girlfriend for long, and yiu wont have to worry about these things.