Help!! Angry mean, etc

[Anonymous]

We have always been a very engaged and close family. But our tween has changed so much this year and we fear that this is it! She is so rude and disrespectful to us and her siblings. We have taken things away, we have spoken to her in a calm manner, we have used the love/logic approach... It is now affecting the entire family. My husband and I are having a difficult time. When we mention talking to someone she says “so you think something is wrong with me!”. She claims we don’t give her enough attention bc of the other kids but we do the best we can between work and family time. My husband and I are exhausted. We really prioritize our family life and we don’t understand why this is happening. I understand it’s hormone and puberty but this seems extreme. I don’t think it’s depression bc she’s very active, has a great group of friends and enjoys life. I don’t understand why she’s not empathetic towards any of us. How do we work on these insecurities? What is happening? It is really affecting everyone!! Help please!!

[Anonymous]

OP worried that her daily mean behavior toward siblings will affect them. She constantly insults them..

[Anonymous]

Very similar post very recently. See here. http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/744027.page

My 2 cents: Don't give her the power to ruin your family life. Be tolerant to a point and when she's way out of line you just simply send her to her room and carry on without her.

[Anonymous]

Read "Getting to Calm."

[Anonymous]

I don't doubt she is being impossible.

I wonder if she needs more space? You say you are "engaged and close", which is great, but maybe what she needs and what the others need is starting to diverge? She is at an age when kids change a lot and really fast.

But yeah, they are pretty hard to be around sometimes.

[Anonymous]

Are you sure she isn’t just being a teen?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Read "Getting to Calm."

And "Yes your teen is Crazy." I recall that book explains that you need to act like a stoic riot police officer in the face of the crazy. Don't take it personally, don't respond in kind. Just remain calm and implement boundaries. This too shall pass (mom of a lovely young girl who is now a charming but still occasionally mean 15 year old). I think 7th and 8th grade were the worst. Get's gradually better in HS. It's important to maintain a solid relationship with teens even when they are irritating as all get out because as they get older we've got big issues on the horizon.