Advice on handling a suicide threat from teen son's friend
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Anonymous
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Like the rest of humanity, my 14yo texts semi-regularly w/his friends including one moved to a different school pyramid a couple of years ago. Kids still get together a couple of times a year but are not generally in day-to-day contact. The friend is a kind of difficult kid and I've heard several times that he doesn't have a lot of friends in his new school.
The friend has been texting to tell my son he's miserable and that he's tried suicide several times and wants to die. I'm guessing (hoping) this is just drama but I don't want to dismiss any chance that he could follow through. I have the mom's number so I'm going to ask her to call me (we're away now in a different time zone so it's a bit tricky.) Fwiw the parents are very caring but tbh it's a very weird household - high drama, no rules, some very questionable judgment. It's terrible to say, but I'm not sure if telling the mom will actually help. Does anyone have any advice on anything else that I can or should do to try to ensure that this kid gets the support he needs? |
Anonymous
| Tell them and quit judging. |
Anonymous
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21:58 , your post is UNBELIEVABLY rude and NOT helpful. OP this is a tough situation. Maybe tell a counselor at the kids' school in addition to his mother.
Is your child ok with you sharing this information? Not that, that should change what you do. I am just curious. Not telling is never the right decision. Not that you are leaning towards that -- just saying. |
Anonymous
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You can call the crisis hotline and they can help you and your son figure out some options on what to do and say to help his friend. 301.738.2255. Or 1.800.273.8255. You can also do an online chat if that is more comfortable. https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org
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Anonymous
| Call the parents now. Work around the time change. This is really important and you need to act now. |
Anonymous
OP was incredibly judge about the family. She flat out stated that she wasn’t sure it would help, that the family was high drama with no rules. She is absolutely judgmental and clearly dislikes the family. She needs to make the call to the parents. |
Anonymous
| This happened to us and we called the principal of the high school since they work year round. |
Anonymous
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OP here - there's really no need to berate me. Let me be clear: my kid is not Mr Popular, I'm not the perfect mom, but w/almost any other family I've interacted with, I wouldn't have felt the need to post here. I would be on the phone with the parents ASAP and not think twice about that as the obvious address for ensuring that the kid's crisis was handled.
In this case I'm genuinely concerned the parents will either blow this off or shame/bully the kid (as I've seen them do over physical appearance issues.) |
Anonymous
| You need to be blunt and tell her. |
Anonymous
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OP. It’s hard. My DCs closest friend from middle school has depression and it scares the living daylights out of me. I have had a lot of sleepless nights worrying about the emotional impact of the friendship. The best way I can describe what happens to my DD is it seems like whenever she gets together with this friend- it’s like a vampire sucks all the happiness out of her. It’s hard because you don’t want to teach your child to abandon a friend when they are struggling but you also worry that depression will be contagious.
You do want to talk with mom ASAP- because if kid were to act on what he’s saying- not only would this be intolerable grief for the family but this would be life changing for your son. The dirty secret about depression is that it doesn’t just impact the kid going through it but everyone else around. Good Luck! |
Anonymous
I am the PP from above that called the principal. You should call the school, they deal with this all the time. You are not equipped to handle this situation. Even if the family is not off putting it is hard to receive this type of information from "some mom". Don't worry about the other posters. Your instinct was to tell, you child was right to tell you, now tell a counselor or a principal. |
Anonymous
| Tell parents ASAP regardless of how well you think they will respond. |
Anonymous
THIS. Also, as mentioned have your son text the number of a suicide hotline. Do the right thing. Also check yourself with the superiority complex.  Yes, we know you are better parents and your kid is way more popular. Those poor weirdos have a suicidal kid. 
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Anonymous
| I was in a similar situation. Not only do you need to tell the parents, but involve the head of school and counselors. You must take this horrible weight from your child and demonstrate to them the appropriate response to get this young person help. I am not a counselor or expert in suicide prevention — and nor is my child. The best thing to do is get this to the right hands and demonstrate to your kid what they need to do when something like this comes up. Our children live stressful lives and being a teen is tough. When they are reaching out for help - demonstrate how to help them. |
Anonymous
+ 1,000,000 Essentially its not your business but it is your responsibility to let the boy's parents know. End of story. |