Advice on handling a suicide threat from teen son's friend

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Tell them and quit judging.

+ 1,000,000

Essentially its not your business but it is your responsibility to let the boy's parents know. End of story.

Another + 1,000,000.

Call the parents and tell them. But also follow up with a screen capture of the son's text and email it. You need to act and act quickly. A child's life is at stake.

If you know the child's school, then call it and speak with the principal or guidance counselor. The principal will be working all summer, and the guidance counselors will probably be at the school now, too.

[Anonymous]

If the time difference I your only hang up text or email the parents. Have your son text the suicide hotline number.

If you do not do theses two things and something happens, you and your kid will feel guilty the rest of your lives.

[Anonymous]

I think it’s really bad advice to call in the principal or guidance counselor at the school- unless the parents don’t do something. I think you need to give the parents a chance first. Situations like this need to be handled carefully.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it’s really bad advice to call in the principal or guidance counselor at the school- unless the parents don’t do something. I think you need to give the parents a chance first. Situations like this need to be handled carefully.

Calling the principal is "handling it carefully". They are not CPS.

If you call, they will take it personally, period, that is what parents do, then they will feel uncomfortable around you or think you are over reacting, or ... you don't know what.

Principals are trained to deal with this.

[Anonymous]

It is never wrong to make this call to the parents. And make it quickly.

You don't have to talk long because you know very little - only what your kid said.

I personally wouldn't call the principal, but I'm scarred by the fact that my son's was a dick, so maybe that is what you are supposed to do.

If your son told you, then your son wants you to tell them, even if he pitches a fit.

Since you are not friends with this family, for all you know they are aware and doing all the right things but just not discussing it with you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It is never wrong to make this call to the parents. And make it quickly.

You don't have to talk long because you know very little - only what your kid said.

I personally wouldn't call the principal, but I'm scarred by the fact that my son's was a dick, so maybe that is what you are supposed to do.

If your son told you, then your son wants you to tell them, even if he pitches a fit.

Since you are not friends with this family, for all you know they are aware and doing all the right things but just not discussing it with you.

Do you have kids in high school? Calling the counseling office is what is recommended. Calling the parents is not recommended.

This is all covered in the handbook for most high school (I obviously have not read all of them).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is never wrong to make this call to the parents. And make it quickly.

You don't have to talk long because you know very little - only what your kid said.

I personally wouldn't call the principal, but I'm scarred by the fact that my son's was a dick, so maybe that is what you are supposed to do.

If your son told you, then your son wants you to tell them, even if he pitches a fit.

Since you are not friends with this family, for all you know they are aware and doing all the right things but just not discussing it with you.

Do you have kids in high school? Calling the counseling office is what is recommended. Calling the parents is not recommended.

This is all covered in the handbook for most high school (I obviously have not read all of them).

PP do you have friends? Seriously- call the parents first.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it’s really bad advice to call in the principal or guidance counselor at the school- unless the parents don’t do something. I think you need to give the parents a chance first. Situations like this need to be handled carefully.

This.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is never wrong to make this call to the parents. And make it quickly.

You don't have to talk long because you know very little - only what your kid said.

I personally wouldn't call the principal, but I'm scarred by the fact that my son's was a dick, so maybe that is what you are supposed to do.

If your son told you, then your son wants you to tell them, even if he pitches a fit.

Since you are not friends with this family, for all you know they are aware and doing all the right things but just not discussing it with you.

Do you have kids in high school? Calling the counseling office is what is recommended. Calling the parents is not recommended.

This is all covered in the handbook for most high school (I obviously have not read all of them).

Yes, I do. This hasn't come up for us. I'd still call the parents.

[Anonymous]

My son received multiple emails in one day from a girl at his school threatening suicide. We contacted the school, not the parents. The school contacted the parents and made sure the girl got the help she needed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was in a similar situation. Not only do you need to tell the parents, but involve the head of school and counselors. You must take this horrible weight from your child and demonstrate to them the appropriate response to get this young person help. I am not a counselor or expert in suicide prevention — and nor is my child. The best thing to do is get this to the right hands and demonstrate to your kid what they need to do when something like this comes up. Our children live stressful lives and being a teen is tough. When they are reaching out for help - demonstrate how to help them.

Good advice.

[Anonymous]

I would not tell school. Tell parents ASAP. I hope and pray he is okay. These stories make me so sad in this forum. I wish we could all help these kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:21:58 , your post is UNBELIEVABLY rude and NOT helpful. OP this is a tough situation. Maybe tell a counselor at the kids' school in addition to his mother.

Is your child ok with you sharing this information? Not that, that should change what you do. I am just curious.

Not telling is never the right decision. Not that you are leaning towards that -- just saying.

OP was incredibly judge about the family. She flat out stated that she wasn’t sure it would help, that the family was high drama with no rules. She is absolutely judgmental and clearly dislikes the family. She needs to make the call to the parents.

This is not a "judgment" and so what if it is. It's an observation of facts. I agree that she needs to call the parents, but in no way was this a rude comment. Some people are simply weird and they parent in very strange ways. This sounds like the case.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was in a similar situation. Not only do you need to tell the parents, but involve the head of school and counselors. You must take this horrible weight from your child and demonstrate to them the appropriate response to get this young person help. I am not a counselor or expert in suicide prevention — and nor is my child. The best thing to do is get this to the right hands and demonstrate to your kid what they need to do when something like this comes up. Our children live stressful lives and being a teen is tough. When they are reaching out for help - demonstrate how to help them.

Good advice.

This is actually terrible advice because your child does not remain anonymous, the parents could be crazy, etc.

You tell the principal and the counseling office and let the professionals handle it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was in a similar situation. Not only do you need to tell the parents, but involve the head of school and counselors. You must take this horrible weight from your child and demonstrate to them the appropriate response to get this young person help. I am not a counselor or expert in suicide prevention — and nor is my child. The best thing to do is get this to the right hands and demonstrate to your kid what they need to do when something like this comes up. Our children live stressful lives and being a teen is tough. When they are reaching out for help - demonstrate how to help them.

Good advice.

This is actually terrible advice because your child does not remain anonymous, the parents could be crazy, etc.

You tell the principal and the counseling office and let the professionals handle it.

I have no confidence in MoCo school "professionals". They way they're ignoring child predator employees is anything but professional.