I don’t like my family

[Anonymous]

And the sad part is, there’s nothing inherently wrong with them. No racism, family drama, rudeness, etc. I just don’t enjoy spending time with them. My entire extended family, like my parents, dad’s’ siblings (my aunts and uncles), dad’s siblings kids (my cousins) love to get together, do things like Nats games, barbecues, etc. and I dread these gatherings. Have since I was a teenager. They are all very close and are all like “omg aren’t we so LUCKY to be such a close, happy family?!” and I’ve just never felt part of it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:And the sad part is, there’s nothing inherently wrong with them. No racism, family drama, rudeness, etc. I just don’t enjoy spending time with them. My entire extended family, like my parents, dad’s’ siblings (my aunts and uncles), dad’s siblings kids (my cousins) love to get together, do things like Nats games, barbecues, etc. and I dread these gatherings. Have since I was a teenager. They are all very close and are all like “omg aren’t we so LUCKY to be such a close, happy family?!” and I’ve just never felt part of it.

Must be nice.

[Anonymous]

Meh, I understand.

I love my family, doesn't mean I want to spend time with them.

We share very few common interest, live completely different lives, and to be honest wouldn't care if I didn't attend family functions.

No drama, no friction, no issues, we just really don't feel the need to validate each others existence with group hugs and Face Book photos.

[Anonymous]

What do you dread about them?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Meh, I understand.

I love my family, doesn't mean I want to spend time with them.

We share very few common interest, live completely different lives, and to be honest wouldn't care if I didn't attend family functions.

No drama, no friction, no issues, we just really don't feel the need to validate each others existence with group hugs and Face Book photos.

You sound incredibly self-absorbed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Meh, I understand.

I love my family, doesn't mean I want to spend time with them.

We share very few common interest, live completely different lives, and to be honest wouldn't care if I didn't attend family functions.

No drama, no friction, no issues, we just really don't feel the need to validate each others existence with group hugs and Face Book photos.

You sound incredibly self-absorbed.

+1 or depressed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What do you dread about them?

They’re loud and I’m a quiet introvert. Some are really into drinking and I’m not. It’s hard to explain, I don’t know.

[Anonymous]

Do you enjoy spending time with anyone? Or do you prefer to be alone?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do you enjoy spending time with anyone? Or do you prefer to be alone?

I absolutely love spending time with my immediate family (my 2 kids and spouse). Spending time 1:1 with my sister is great. Spending time with my parents is decent. I do have friends I like to be with.

[Anonymous]

I don’t like my family, either.
My brother sodomized me when I was 11. My parents knew and did nothing.
My parents continually told me how stupid I was, would never amount to much, and quit talking and dreaming about going to college because I was worthless.
I left home at 18. I have spoken to my mother 3 times since 1992.
In my early 30’s I worked myself through college and then graduate school.
Families are often much crueler than strangers.

[Anonymous]

Your feelings are your feelings. Wherever they come from, they are valid. While treating people respectfully is a must, you don't have to force yourself to be or feel something that isn't true for you.

In the mean time, I would encourage you to explore in therapy what might have led to the ambivalence. In a healthy family, there is usually reciprocal love even when differences exist. Could there be covert resentment or barbs that are eroding the bond? Is there some reason why you don't have full trust and communication? It can be helpful to understand these things as they have a tendency to influence other relationships like boss-subordinate, friendships, and romantic attachments.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t like my family, either.
My brother sodomized me when I was 11. My parents knew and did nothing.
My parents continually told me how stupid I was, would never amount to much, and quit talking and dreaming about going to college because I was worthless.
I left home at 18. I have spoken to my mother 3 times since 1992.
In my early 30’s I worked myself through college and then graduate school.
Families are often much crueler than strangers.

I'm sorry your family abused you so severely. They didn't deserve the privilege of being your parents, your brother. Congratulations for your success. I hope you continue to enjoy success and happiness.

[Anonymous]

Same. I find my family VERY dull. Literally and figuratively - my parents house was full of only neutral colors when I was growing up. And their personalities matched that.

I also have nothing in common with my cousins. They're all super traditional and conservative people (not in terms of politics). They do whatever is popular and claim that's what they like.

I am not like them. They are good people. They are faithful to their spouses, they support their children, love their parents, etc. Just super dull to me.

[Anonymous]

My family is boring and so is my spouse's. We keep visits short.

[Anonymous]

Me either. Nothing in common, nothing to talk about. I wouldn’t choose to be friends with any of them. It’s ALWAYS awkward when we get together which I try to avoid at all costs.