Friendly shopping experience for soft butch adolescent?

[Anonymous]

DD wants to wear a blazer, button down dress shirt, and bow tie to a family wedding this summer. Can you advise me of shops in DC and MD where she would have a positive experience? She’s 4’11” and wears a size 1-3 in juniors. She has an A cup and does not bind. Curvy rear. And yes, insistent that she is a she and not trans. She has not worn a dress in over a year and I can get her to this wedding only if she feels comfortably dressed. I’m nervous to order online because I have no idea what the equivalent sizes are in the men’s section. Except shoes. She’s worn boy’s shoes for almost two years. I would classify her style as soft butch.

[Anonymous]

Order a bunch from Nordstrom - free shipping a returns.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Order a bunch from Nordstrom - free shipping a returns.

I appreciate that, but I have no clue about sizes. For her size are we looking in boys? Is there a petite version of male clothing?

[Anonymous]

What about Brooks Brothers in the boys/teen section? It’s 2018 and we’re in DC. I can’t imagine there would be any issue in terms of your daughter being treated positively.

My 13 year old daughter is very similar to yours. She likes getting boys dress shirts at Target. We haven’t had a more formal event to go to such as a wedding. If we did, I’d take
my own advice and try Brooks Brothers on Connecticut Ave.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What about Brooks Brothers in the boys/teen section? It’s 2018 and we’re in DC. I can’t imagine there would be any issue in terms of your daughter being treated positively.

My 13 year old daughter is very similar to yours. She likes getting boys dress shirts at Target. We haven’t had a more formal event to go to such as a wedding. If we did, I’d take
my own advice and try Brooks Brothers on Connecticut Ave.

Thank you! This is all new to me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DD wants to wear a blazer, button down dress shirt, and bow tie to a family wedding this summer. Can you advise me of shops in DC and MD where she would have a positive experience? She’s 4’11” and wears a size 1-3 in juniors. She has an A cup and does not bind. Curvy rear. And yes, insistent that she is a she and not trans. She has not worn a dress in over a year and I can get her to this wedding only if she feels comfortably dressed. I’m nervous to order online because I have no idea what the equivalent sizes are in the men’s section. Except shoes. She’s worn boy’s shoes for almost two years. I would classify her style as soft butch.

Why don’t you get a free personal shopping consultation at Nordstrom? There’s a good bit of communication ahead of the appointment (so you can explain everything as well as share measurements) and they have stuff pulled out when you get there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DD wants to wear a blazer, button down dress shirt, and bow tie to a family wedding this summer. Can you advise me of shops in DC and MD where she would have a positive experience? She’s 4’11” and wears a size 1-3 in juniors. She has an A cup and does not bind. Curvy rear. And yes, insistent that she is a she and not trans. She has not worn a dress in over a year and I can get her to this wedding only if she feels comfortably dressed. I’m nervous to order online because I have no idea what the equivalent sizes are in the men’s section. Except shoes. She’s worn boy’s shoes for almost two years. I would classify her style as soft butch.

Why don’t you get a free personal shopping consultation at Nordstrom? There’s a good bit of communication ahead of the appointment (so you can explain everything as well as share measurements) and they have stuff pulled out when you get there.

That’s a great idea. They won’t mind that we’re only going to buy 1 of each?

[Anonymous]

In reality — men’s clothing may be easier as it’s sold in waist and inseam as opposed to women’s standard sizes...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In reality — men’s clothing may be easier as it’s sold in waist and inseam as opposed to women’s standard sizes...

That’s good to know. Thank you. I can probably google sizes for her measurements.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DD wants to wear a blazer, button down dress shirt, and bow tie to a family wedding this summer. Can you advise me of shops in DC and MD where she would have a positive experience? She’s 4’11” and wears a size 1-3 in juniors. She has an A cup and does not bind. Curvy rear. And yes, insistent that she is a she and not trans. She has not worn a dress in over a year and I can get her to this wedding only if she feels comfortably dressed. I’m nervous to order online because I have no idea what the equivalent sizes are in the men’s section. Except shoes. She’s worn boy’s shoes for almost two years. I would classify her style as soft butch.

Why don’t you get a free personal shopping consultation at Nordstrom? There’s a good bit of communication ahead of the appointment (so you can explain everything as well as share measurements) and they have stuff pulled out when you get there.

That’s a great idea. They won’t mind that we’re only going to buy 1 of each?

Definitely do this. I used a personal shopper for my hard to shop for 13 yr old DD (although she's willing to wear a dress, just is extremely picky + modest, and needed something appropriate for a formal event) and it was a great experience. I gave the shopper her very specific requirements, she'd pulled a bunch of things to try on and then found more based on DD's feedback. We only bought one thing and were done in about a half hour.

[Anonymous]

No additional suggestions, but I LOVE that you are letting her be herself and supporting her in her clothing choices! Go you!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No additional suggestions, but I LOVE that you are letting her be herself and supporting her in her clothing choices! Go you!

Thanks. We’re fortunate to have a child who has been patient with us as we learned about gender expression. Also lucky to live in a community that isn’t intolerant. Sometimes I really wish she had a lesbian fairy godmother to help navigate some things we’re clueless about.

[Anonymous]

Why don't you just go to some stores and buy a blazer in boys size 12 to 14 and have her try them on at home? Thats what I just did for my son who is 4' 10" who hates to shop.

[Anonymous]

Op I am in a similar situation but my child is younger, she knows she is a girl and doesnt identify differently but only wants to wear boy clothing and do boy activities.
We are doing family pictures this weekend and I was torn whether to force the dress issue and I decided last week not to, so she is going to wear nice boy stuff.

[Anonymous]

OP, would a jumpsuit be acceptable to her?