Am I the only one with a well-behaved teenager?

[Anonymous]

Reading this forum, I feel like I’m the only one with a well-behaved teenager? Our daughter is 16 years old and we’ve never been protective parents per say; meaning we’ve always let her have a lot of independence. We stopped monitoring her devices when she turned 12, let her lock her door, and do things by herself. Now she gets good grades, hangs out with an amazing group of friends, cooks, cleans, comes home when we ask her, and never goes out on school nights. Reading this forum I feel like I’m going crazy, there’s so many helicopter moms and dads who don’t give their child any privacy and monitor everything they do. Then these are the same parents who go and post about how their kids hate them, are out of control, don’t know how to take care of themselves, etc. when their parenting is the reason their kids are like that????

My husband and I moved to this area from Germany, and it always astonishes us, and our close group of friends (also immigrants from Germany), that many American parents act as if their kid is 5 when in reality they’re 17. In conclusion, I kind of wanted to just put this out there and see what other’s have to say. Partially this stems from the fact that my 16yo daughter, always comes homes and rants about the kids in her school who can’t do their own laundry or are out all weekend doing drugs, whenever I ask about them, she always says they come from American families with helicopter parents.

And before we get the comments that our kid is lying to us and secretly sneaks out, does drugs, etc... she has takes medications which would heavily interact with any of those substances, I’m assuming that since she takes it everyday and hasn’t been hospitalized; she’s not lying.

[Anonymous]

Most of the teenagers I know are great, responsible young adults.

They don't know how to sweep, mop, dust or mow lawns in this area.

I will give you that one.

[Anonymous]

My 15 yo DS is a great kid!

[Anonymous]

My kids are good, but not perfect. My boys age 17 & 15 have had bumps in the road. Still I’m not jinxing anything with a big pat on the back. Things can certainly change in the blink cup of an eye.

[Anonymous]

So far, we are 3 for 3 and I think the youngest may be the best behaved of all. Not sure how we got so lucky as both of us are from large families with mixed results among siblings.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kids are good, but not perfect. My boys age 17 & 15 have had bumps in the road. Still I’m not jinxing anything with a big pat on the back. Things can certainly change in the blink cup of an eye.

Not sure how the word cup got in there.

[Anonymous]

I have a 17 year old who was horribly out of control and an extremely well behaved 16 year old. Which one did my parenting “cause?”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a 17 year old who was horribly out of control and an extremely well behaved 16 year old. Which one did my parenting “cause?”

Probably the first.

[Anonymous]

Mine is pretty good. A work in progress, but if you met him, you'd think he was pretty great, mature, responsible, and kind. He is all those things, except when he isn't.

If I post, though, it is because I'm looking to solve a problem where others may have more experience.

[Anonymous]

I think it’s pretty risky to make such broad generalizations based on your experience with one child. All three of mine have the same parents and are very different people.

[Anonymous]

Your kid would have medical problems if she drank or did drugs and you’re crediting your parenting for the fact that she hasn’t? I think you’re missing the obvious reason why she hasn’t done those substances!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a 17 year old who was horribly out of control and an extremely well behaved 16 year old. Which one did my parenting “cause?”

17 is when I let loose

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kids are good, but not perfect. My boys age 17 & 15 have had bumps in the road. Still I’m not jinxing anything with a big pat on the back. Things can certainly change in the blink cup of an eye.

+1
Every time I get complacent and think how smoothly everything is going, bam. Something happens. I try not to jinx it anymore.

[Anonymous]

OP I have one teen who is difficult and I've posted on this forum to get advice....I'm not going to be posting all about the times that she's great; I'm just posting when I need advice or ideas about how to handle something.

I'm assuming that that goes for the majority of posters to this forum...who is going to post when there's nothing wrong with their teen....then why post? (Of course the irony here is that you just did that, OP, but I'm not going to tease you for it, because I do understand where you are coming from.)

And at one point, two years ago, I was having a really hard time with my teen. But you know, even through all that, it wasn't anything very serious (drugs/sex/eating disorder/cutting/suicidal) but more about lazy/snarky issues. I will tell you my other one (both girls) has a totally different personality and is much easier, and honestly if they both weren't girls, I'd attribute it to gender differences or whatever; but nope...same parents, same environment, same school, but one is just harder than the other.

BTW DCUM totally helped me out. When PPs are not busy viciously attacking the OP, they can be really helpful!

[Anonymous]

There is a bias selection going on here. People post when their kids are challenging, evasive they are seeking advice.

People whose kids are behaving don’t post.

There are many well behaved kids.