Am I the only one with a well-behaved teenager?

[Anonymous]

Your daughter's rants about her friends sound petty and rude. I don't encourage my teens to gossip about their friends.

[Anonymous]

My teens are generally great teens. DS is 19 in college but he did drink, and he told me so. And he drank in Europe where it is legal. DD was a perfect teen until she did one stupid thing. I am from Eastern Europe and not strict that much at all. I post here when there is an issue. Or when I am not sure which clubs in DC are safe. I had a long talk with her telling me if she does drink, for me to get her. I never drank or did drugs when teen(but it wasn't forbidden to me), but I also went to discos in Europe at her age till 4am! That is just it, they are all great teens until that one hour when for some reason, peer pressure, moment of trying to show off, or just plain lack of judgement, she/ and all teens do something without thinking what might happened, like invites 3 friends over and these 3 invite 3 each, and those invite 3 each... and recipe for a disaster that your teen never actually planned. Sometimes they don't understand how one bad decision when parent is not home can cascade within minutes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have 3 boys. I am far far away from a helicopter parent. My oldest and my youngest are so easy going and do fantastic in school. My middle one is such an incredible challenge to us. He questions everything, refuses to do many things we ask, puts minimal effort in school. He is also the most intelligent out of my 3 kids. We thought of ourselves as competent, intelligent, supportive parents, but I have had to read more parenting books than I could have ever imagined for my middle child. Sometimes you get luck and get kids that find it easy to follow rules, other times you get kids that are refuse to accept them.

So true. My own mom went on and on how she raised me and my sister right, grades all As, played piano at a high level, finished college and her sister.... well, she failed because she didn't raise her boys right! And also her other sister failed at raising her kids. But, the truth is my mom got really, really lucky with my sister and me.

[Anonymous]

OP, people don't post on DCUM if there isn't a problem. Serious question: what do you read DCUM for?

[Anonymous]

That's like waltzing into the Diet and Exercise forum and saying, "Am the only one who can stay naturally fit and toned without any special diet and never exercising"?

That's like waltzing into Infertility and saying, "Am I the only one who did this easily the old-fashioned way?"

People generally don't post with super-duper-awesome-day reports, though they do sometimes, of course. People post when they have a challenge or a problem, and others weigh in. That's kind of how that works.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There is a bias selection going on here. People post when their kids are challenging, evasive they are seeking advice.

People whose kids are behaving don’t post.

There are many well behaved kids.

yep, most kids are good kids. Sorry, you are not special nor is your daughter. BTW, OP you have an single child?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes.

Yes, OP.

Your child, and your child only, is the only well behaved teen around these here parts.

I was going to say the same thing, pp! I would go one step further and say op's teen is the only teen in the world who is well-behaved! Well, done Op.

[Anonymous]

Just chiming in to say I hope you let your kids know once in awhile how proud you are of their behavior. I was a complete straight arrow growing up, especially compared to my classmates (got straight A’s, had a job, didn’t drink/do drugs, wasn’t having sex or staying out late). Talk to my parents though and you would’ve thought I was some disrespectful, wild child if I forgot to do the dishes one night.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Reading this forum, I feel like I’m the only one with a well-behaved teenager? Our daughter is 16 years old and we’ve never been protective parents per say; meaning we’ve always let her have a lot of independence. We stopped monitoring her devices when she turned 12, let her lock her door, and do things by herself. Now she gets good grades, hangs out with an amazing group of friends, cooks, cleans, comes home when we ask her, and never goes out on school nights. Reading this forum I feel like I’m going crazy, there’s so many helicopter moms and dads who don’t give their child any privacy and monitor everything they do. Then these are the same parents who go and post about how their kids hate them, are out of control, don’t know how to take care of themselves, etc. when their parenting is the reason their kids are like that????

My husband and I moved to this area from Germany, and it always astonishes us, and our close group of friends (also immigrants from Germany), that many American parents act as if their kid is 5 when in reality they’re 17. In conclusion, I kind of wanted to just put this out there and see what other’s have to say. Partially this stems from the fact that my 16yo daughter, always comes homes and rants about the kids in her school who can’t do their own laundry or are out all weekend doing drugs, whenever I ask about them, she always says they come from American families with helicopter parents.

And before we get the comments that our kid is lying to us and secretly sneaks out, does drugs, etc... she has takes medications which would heavily interact with any of those substances, I’m assuming that since she takes it everyday and hasn’t been hospitalized; she’s not lying.

Congratulations, OP, your daughter is well on the way to being as judgy as you are. All hail the next generation of DCUM sanctimommies!

How's the view from up there?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your daughter's rants about her friends sound petty and rude. I don't encourage my teens to gossip about their friends.

Does she have any friends?

[Anonymous]

Omg, you’re something , you really are. Your kid is great and perfect because of your perfect parenting - you’re sure of that, right?
Our DD is very similarly patented and gets great grades and has a great fruend group - and would curse you out in a second & helps with nothing. She is wickedly surly. It’s a normal part of separation. Kissing your parents rears is not normal. I do wonder what your DD actually does do to blow off steam and maybe she’s a bit simple , great grades or not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it’s pretty risky to make such broad generalizations based on your experience with one child. All three of mine have the same parents and are very different people.

I know - I was wondering where the other kids, aka the data points, were...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, people don't post on DCUM if there isn't a problem. Serious question: what do you read DCUM for?

Not OP, but I often use DCUM to remind me how lucky I am. I used to watch Maury.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just chiming in to say I hope you let your kids know once in awhile how proud you are of their behavior. I was a complete straight arrow growing up, especially compared to my classmates (got straight A’s, had a job, didn’t drink/do drugs, wasn’t having sex or staying out late). Talk to my parents though and you would’ve thought I was some disrespectful, wild child if I forgot to do the dishes one night.

You sounded excruciating! Excruciatingly boring. Were you waiting for a medal of some sort?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just chiming in to say I hope you let your kids know once in awhile how proud you are of their behavior. I was a complete straight arrow growing up, especially compared to my classmates (got straight A’s, had a job, didn’t drink/do drugs, wasn’t having sex or staying out late). Talk to my parents though and you would’ve thought I was some disrespectful, wild child if I forgot to do the dishes one night.

You sounded excruciating! Excruciatingly boring. Were you waiting for a medal of some sort?

It sounds like your parents did the ‘separation’ for you in acting badly since you refused.