I want to meet someone on line, but cannot contact them!

[Anonymous]

So, I would like to get on a dating website, but my job doesn’t allow me to have a public social media presence. I have friends on the website, do you think they could communicate with a person for me? There is one guy with a cool profile, and if I were to see him in public I would talk to him. Maybe my friend could just say hey, I have a friend..... meet her at ..... He would have nothing to lose.

It is really hard to meet people without an online presence. I am busy and cannot get out there all the time. My job isn’t changing soon. Assuming my friend would even do this, am I nuts? Any suggestions?

[Anonymous]

It's not how it works really. The odds that you will meet and then mutually like each other are close to 0. This person being on the site and having so many other options actually has something to lose - their time. Unless you can really make it seem like you have something exceptional to offer (you are extremely hot or a Hollywood actress maybe?). Also, are you a 100% sure your friend is not more desirable than you?

You have to find time for dating or it won't happen. Can you use matchmaking service?

[Anonymous]

Cant you sign up with just a user name and no identifying information and contact someone? I don't think that is a public social media presence.

[Anonymous]

OP, I could do that, just put something about me. I am not a movie star, obviously, and neither is he. I just think he is very attractive and I like his profile a lot. On paper we have tons in common. I am pretty, average build and have some decent things going for me. All he has to lose is time, but on line sites are just a numbers game. I would be offended if I wasn’t to his liking. My friend doesn’t find him attractive and they have some paper incompatibilities.

[Anonymous]

Do you plan on sending this guy a picture of yourself or are you wanting him to meet you sight unseen?

[Anonymous]

I would not meet someone if it was set up by someone I didn't know. It sounds greepy. I would message him with no picture and then send one privately.

[Anonymous]

Agree, it sounds greepy.

[Anonymous]

Op here. Good idea, thanks everyone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here. Good idea, thanks everyone.

A friend is in a somewhat similar position as you. She’s a teacher. DCUMers suggested a profile without photo or one with an obscured photo.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. Good idea, thanks everyone.

A friend is in a somewhat similar position as you. She’s a teacher. DCUMers suggested a profile without photo or one with an obscured photo.

Don’t expect too many replies however. Dating apps are all about pictures and it is a numbers game.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. Good idea, thanks everyone.

A friend is in a somewhat similar position as you. She’s a teacher. DCUMers suggested a profile without photo or one with an obscured photo.

Don’t expect too many replies however. Dating apps are all about pictures and it is a numbers game.

No pics and/or no pics is usually a sign that the person is married or in a serious relationship.

[Anonymous]

Obviously OP would have to explain. There are quite a few people in this area that are single but cannot do the dating websites. Guy has nothing to lose. Meet in a public place. Send private messages. If OP is being realistic that she isn’t ok to look at and would match kind of what he is looking for, why not? As a woman I wouldn’t do it, but men might.

First date could be answering profile questions over drinks. Now that could be fun....

[Anonymous]

Sorry, that she is ok to look at

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So, I would like to get on a dating website, but my job doesn’t allow me to have a public social media presence. I have friends on the website, do you think they could communicate with a person for me? There is one guy with a cool profile, and if I were to see him in public I would talk to him. Maybe my friend could just say hey, I have a friend..... meet her at ..... He would have nothing to lose.

It is really hard to meet people without an online presence. I am busy and cannot get out there all the time. My job isn’t changing soon. Assuming my friend would even do this, am I nuts? Any suggestions?

There are a fair number of scams on online dating sites, OP. He might not see your friend reaching out as a really positive thing.

As a woman on an online dating site, I've gotten these kinds of "my friend would be perfect for you" texts from other members. They come across as odd. I don't have time to try to figure out if they're legitimate. Easier to block contact.

[Anonymous]

What do you do that you can’t have a profile on a dating site? I work at the CIA and several of my colleagues are on OKCupid. I am also friend’s with a few private school teachers who are using apps. Most dating sites are pretty benign; people are not putting intimate details in their profiles for the most part. I guess I just can’t think of a situation where it would be harmful to your career that people know you’re dating. Unless you’re still married but that’s a whole different issue.

All of that to say, your proposal won’t work.