How did you deal with your fear of C/S?

[Anonymous]

So it's looking like my anterior previa placenta ain't budging. It might still, but we are having to face the option of a C/S. I had a really intense spinal and hip surgery about 5 years ago that really was traumatizing for me. Ever since then I've been SO scared of "the knife" and being cut open again. I know it won't be the same, but really, I'd face the pain of labor any day as long as there are no knives! It helps that at the end I get to meet my son, which almost makes me cry from joy just typing those words, but I'd like to make this a happy experience all around if possible - not just an "this is a nasty means to a happy end." I feel like HAVING your baby should be an empowering and special experience as well.

I worked with a grief counselor after the surgery and we worked out a lot of the issues that came from my surgery and my life afterward. But I don't think I'll ever NOT be scared of surgery again, and I want to approach this day with joy and excitement - NOT fear! So I would love to hear any suggestions on turning your fear into something more positive. I looked into hypnosis but that really doesn't seem for me. I am also reading up on C/S a lot to try and make it more familiar.. not sure if it's hurting or helping!!

I am open to all kinds of approaches though so any advice is great! Thank you for sharing your thoughts.

[Anonymous]

I had an unplanned c section with the first, and was hoping for a VBAC this time but as luck would have it, I also have placenta previa that ain't budging this time.

A lot of my fear the first time came from friends of mine who are very, very pro-natural childbirth. And I went through a Bradley class and a hypno-birth class so I did have a fear/bias against c sections. When it came down to it, thinking about the safety of my baby (and me) was the thing that helped me get through the fears. And I had a doctor I trusted 100% and my DH was by my side the whole time. The surgery wasn't bad, but I don't have a fear of surgery in general, so I'm not sure how much my situation is like yours. I really just tried to take the focus off me (and the ideal birth I had planned), and put the focus on my baby. I think I had a similar attitude as you about birth (being an empowering & special experience), but after the birth experience I had, I realized that I had too much of an idealized view of the birth. It's like the "specialness" of a wedding day vs. the "specialness" of a long marriage. The wedding is just one day, but it's how we love and live through long haul that's the most important.

You might want to talk to your OB about your fears & try to get as comfortable with your OB as possible. Also, you might want to talk to as many women out there who've had c sections as possible. There's a lot of information on the internet that will scare the bejesus out of you, but when you talk to women who've had c sections, I've found that most will tell you it wasn't that big of an ordeal. And it wasn't a big ordeal for me. At the end of the day, my DD and I were both alive, healthy and happy, and that's all that mattered. Now that I'm facing a second c section, I'm a little disappointed that I won't be able to try a VBAC but I'm not scared of another c section.

[Anonymous]

I had a vag with # 1 and a scheduled c with #2. I didn't worry about the c until I got into the OR and then I had a panic attack. I burst into tears and couldn't stop crying. I was so embarrassed --- I tried to stop crying, but couldn't. This all happened before anything even began. The actual surgical part was very easy. Once I laid down I stopped crying and calmed down. It felt like the doc got the baby got the baby out within minutes and then the fear, panic, etc. turned to joy. The actual surgery and recovery will not be as bad as you imagine. Tell your OB your fears. My doc was a real sport trying to joke around with me and get me to stop crying -- and it helped.

[Anonymous]

I had an unplanned C . . . . I agree with the PP who said to talk to your doctor about your fears, but I also would recommend mentioning it to the anesthesiologist when he/she is doing your spinal block. That's the person who is going to be sitting by your head the whole time, and he/she is really there for you more than any other medical person in the room. My anesthesiologist was awesome, and noticed when I was getting nervous, and went to get a wet towel and squeezed a little water into my mouth. He really made all the difference for me.

Also, as a PP said, the actual getting the baby out part is so quick -- like 5 minutes -- so the rest of the time you're in there (I think it took my doc another 40 or so minutes) is the sewing up. But you'll be so focused on the baby, you won't even notice anything else.

Good luck!

[Anonymous]

I'm sorry you're feeling this way.

Talk to both your OB and the anesthesiologist about your concerns (which are very valid, and probably nothing they haven't heard before). Ask them for some concrete ideas about what they can do to help you manage the experience.

For starters, the ICAN website has some great tips on what they call a "family-centered" c-section: http://www.ican-online.org/pregnancy/family-centered-cesarean

If it helps you feel more in control, know that you can walk into the OR and have the epidural/spinal put in on the table, rather than be prepped in a different room and then wheeled in. I did this for mine, and it helped me feel like a little more of a bad-ass when I otherwise would have been shaking in my paper booties.

[Anonymous]

I had an unplanned C with #2. For me, there was not really any choice - the baby was breech, big, backwards and STUCK. Theoretically I could have tried labor, but it was one of those moments where the right answer was obvious. If only all of parenting could be that easy!

I actually found c recovery much better than my "regular" delivery with #1, which had its own traumas that I will not recount here. It seems to me that the main issues you are facing are (1) the dread/anticipation, (2) fear of being out of control and reigned by fear when they do it, and (3) fear of the recovery. It seems to me that all of these can be helped by discussing these in advance with your OB and your anesethia guy/gal (sorry for not looking up the spelling - that's probably wrong). For awhile, I had issues with being put under based on a prior traumatic experience (not birth related), and I have to say that everyone I dealt with during that period was fabulous in helping me. Normally I think of the anesethsia person as the person you meet for 2 seconds who says, "OK, count back from 100," but in those cases the docs were so helpful to me. Of course, you don't go all the way under for a c-section and I am finally over the issue now, but I did find that people were very sympathetic when I told them of my fears, so hopefully you will find the same thing.

[Anonymous]

This is something I do sometimes when faced with a really difficult challenge--and I know it's petty and probably a little horrible but it helps--
I think of the least put-together person I can think of who has been through the same situation and I think, "if that person can do it, so can I". So many people have had c/s these days, you probably know someone who is a walking disaster who made it through and is thriving.
Again, I know this is petty but it sometimes gets me through situations of paralyzing fear.

[Anonymous]

I had an unplanned c-section with DC#1. I was scarred and disappointed but it went smoothly, and recovery was much easier than I thought. It sounds like you had an unusually bad experience with your previous surgery so it's understandable that you're scarred. However, most of the time, things go well. Also one can have a bad experience with a vaginal delivery so don't assume that things will be worse just because you end up having to have surgery. Talk to your OB about your fear.

[Anonymous]

My c/s was unplanned, however, I was more frightened of having a baby come out my vagina! I have low tolerance to pain, even looking at needles makes me sick. I was pleasantly surprised at how good I felt after the c/s and the recovery was easy. Believe me, I'm a total whimp, ie, had to have my husband hold my hand during a root canal, and would rather have another c/s than a root canal!

[Anonymous]

OP here. Thank you for the comments. 21:40 - thinking of the least put together person is DEFINITELY going in my arsenal - what a hoot!

And I actually have been discussing this with my OB, who is very understanding but also kind of short. But it's hard - somehow it seems more fulfilling to hear it from people who have GONE through it rather than done it you know?

It is really good to know that getting the baby out only takes a second - hopefully that will distract me sufficiently for the rest of it! And it was also super helpful to know that an anesthesiologist will be there at my head the whole time. Support is definitely helpful.

My fear is mostly the recovery. Everyone says it's not that bad and I'm so relieved for that, because my last surgery recovery took weeks and was seriously painful. I am determined to do what I can - walk soon, move around soon, etc. But I am just so scared of feeling that exact feeling of pain - the one where you realize that you are healing from being cut open. All while learning all about your new baby!! It just seems terrifying. But is 22:36 says c/s is better than a root canal - I've had one of those and they sucked - then I know I can do it. I will just think constantly to myself "If X could do this, you know I can! This won't even be as bad as my root canal!"

It was also helpful for the posters who commented that they had traumatic VBs. It is helpful to remember that, really, this ain't no walk in the park either way.

I definitely am way more interested in meeting my baby than I am about freaking out about the C/S, but it's so good to hear from women who have been through it and how you dealt with it. Thank you for sharing!

[Anonymous]

I have had two C-sections. It's really not that bad at all. The worst part for me was the nurse putting the initial IV in my arm -- after that I really don't recall feeling any pain for the epidural or the C itself.

Knowing what to expect is the best way to get over the fear, in my opinion, since I think a lot of fear is based on the unknown and the feeling of a lack of control. I'd ask your doctor to walk you through in detail what will happen. But here's what to expect from my experience:

- You show up at the hospital - they put you in a labor room and a nurse will put an IV in your arm.
- Eventually you walk to the OR for the epidural. The hardest part is making sure to stay still -- I don't recall any pain.
- You lay down in the table, they put a drape up so you can't see the surgery.
- They start the procedure and ask you if you can feel anything (I couldn't).
- You feel some tugging/pulling - which feels strange but doesn't hurt.
- Your baby is out and they bring him to you
- They spend some more time closing you up. Entire procedure from start to finish goes fast - maybe 20 minutes or so?
- They check out the baby for a while, but eventually you all go back to the recovery room together.
- First day you can't get out of bed. The pain is not that bad since they give you pain meds.
- By the second day, it hurts but you can get out of bed and walk around a bit. I found it helpful to try to get up and walk down the halls- hard at first, but I think it helped me to recover faster. (I was so entralled with baby and focused on breastfeeding, it doesn't give you much chance to focus on the pain.)
- Things get a little better each day - you will probably be released on the fourth day.
- By one week after surgery, I was feeling much better and could do most of my normal activities, but I think it took about three weeks to be fully recovered.

[Anonymous]

I had an unplanned C after 21 hours of labor, and here's the advice I'd add to the mix.

- ditto about the anesthesiologist being your friend. Don't be afraid to ask s/he questions. I was completely freaked out and exhausted, and one helpful thing he did was to narrate the surgery, since you'll be able to hear the doctor and residents and nurses, feel pressure, but not see anything due to the drape. Once the baby comes out and they assure you all is well, your partner will be over with the baby, taking pictures, etc, so the anesthesiologist told me exactly what they were doing - now they're sewing, etc. That helped me, because otherwise I would have felt very powerless.

-at least you won't be having contractions when they give you the epidural - that's a big plus for a scheduled c

-the anesthesia can give some women the shakes. It did me. This is normal, it is not just anxiety. Tell the anesthesiologist, he will calm you down, and as soon as they take the baby out, they can give you something to help it for the rest of the surgery.

-if your partner is at all freaked out by blood, keep him by your head and have him talk just to you. This is YOUR drama, and you need him firing on all cylinders.

-don't be a hero about pain meds. Sure you know this from your first surgery, but the baby makes you second guess everything. Take them on schedule, get your partner to remind you to take them once you're home. And in the hospital, make sure they give them to you at least a half hour before they get you up walking, taking a shower, etc, it really helps.

-definitely move around as much as possible once you are told you can, take laps of the maternity ward. It will really help with recovery, and most importantly, with the all important first poo. Get some fiber!!! No one talks about it, but that was much worse than the surgery or first walking...

Really, all told, my c was great. I really, really didn't want one, but the baby is healthy, my recovery was fine, and the scar isn't even that ugly. All the nightmare stuff you read about not being able to breastfeed is nonsense also. And as women with vaginal births have pointed out, that recovery can be a bitch too. Plus, the baby makes the surgery memories fade pretty quick! Best of luck.

[Anonymous]

Ditto to the above two posters. I had my c-section last Monday and I would do it all over again. The worst for me was the initial IV. My vein wouldn't cooperate and I got nauseous from that. Spinal was a cake walk. My biggest problem was being cold. They had to keep putting warm blankets on me. First time you get up is a bitch but take the pain meds. I stopped taking them yesterday.

[Anonymous]

Good for posters who did not think recovery "too bad". For me it SUCKED. I will do everthing possible to have a VBAC this time than suffer that horrible pain again. Yes, surgery was fast, but my GOD, you do everthing possible with your abs. Even a sneeze or taking a dump was awful. In the end, I just hope I don't get a staph infection (which is NOT all that rare). I think it irresponsible that doctors minimize the gravity of major uterine and abdominal surgery.

I too have a fear because I've been there, done that and don't want to do it again. I wish people had given it to me straight so I could have prepared better for the painful recovery, even though I was popping vicoden like candy.

[Anonymous]

I'm expecting my first in about 6 weeks... no indication at this point that I will definitely need a c/s, but I just have kind of a gut feeling that I ultimately will. The idea does scare me - the recovery more than the surgery itself - but as several have said, weighing against the possible complications of a vaginal delivery does help somewhat to neutralize the fears. I just think of the things that I won't have to worry about if I end up having a c/s (i.e. 4th degree tears, vagina stretched beyond recognition, urinary incontinence - eek) and I can settle into accepting that if the c/s is meant to be, it's meant to be. Of course then I somethimes end up more scared of vaginal delivery. Best wishes to you!