How did you deal with your fear of C/S?

[Anonymous]

OP, don't worry. Like you I had bad experiences with prior surgeries: a terrible experience recovering from an abdominal surgery and another terrible experience recovering from an uterine surgery and guess what: recovery from the C/S was SO MUCH EASIER, I could not believe how easy it was!!! Did not in any way compare to the other surgeries I had in the past. I was up and walking the next day, showering the day after that, bending over to shave my legs one week after that and I had very minimal bleeding ( the kind of bleeding I have at the very end of my period when I am almost not bleeding anymore). I felt great when I left the hospital and did not feel at all as though I just had surgery. I felt sorry for those women who had vaginal deliveries, they looked exhausted and in pain whereas I was well rested b/c I spent 4 nights at the hospital and had no pain at all (I was taking Motrin, I did not even need the percoset). Best of luck to you, I think you will be surprised how easy your recovery will be!

[Anonymous]

You poor dear, I feel your pain. Everything will be fine. I had a c-section four months ago to deliver my son (first baby!) and like you, I had had a terrible previous surgical experience that was influencing how I felt about a c-section. Because of an umbical cord defect and other issues, it looked as though I'd need a c-section for a few months before delivering and indeed, I ended up having an emergency c-section (all is well, happily). First, my previous abdominal surgery experience was very negative (pain, etc.) and it left me wondering how anyone could ever CHOOSE to have a c-section when not medically necessary. I felt traumatized by surgery. I couldn't imagine every going through anything like that unless one absolutely had to. Second, I had been preparing for a natural childbirth, taking classes, reading about it, physically preparing, etc. As a c-section looked more likely, I felt as though I were mourning a vaginal birth and was not going to be doing the right thing or the womanly thing by having a c-section.

In the weeks and days before the birth and my doctors all recommended a c-section, I knew that it was inevitable and I came to accept it. Clearly it was the best thing for my son, and now I know that it was and it may have well saved his life.

All of my fear and trepidation ended up being anti-climatic! The c-section went well and I can promise you that the surgery is a very different experience when you have something wonderful at the end--your child! It changed the entire experience. I also had a very good care team (delivered at Inova Fairfax) and they took pain control very seriously. My only regret about the c-section was that I should have taken more percocet. I only took it once and instead took ibuprofen (big mistake as I eventually got an ulcer). Just take percocet and enjoy your new baby. I was SHOCKED that just a day after my c-section, I was already thinking about how it wasn't that bad and wondered and I know I will want more children, c-section or not. Frankly, after a c-section, I don't want a vaginal birth. I can't believe I feel that way, but I do. Warning: the first 24 hours after the c-section are really not bad at all. The next day after that is hardest because the spinal has worn off.

Now, four months later, I can honestly say that I am glad I had to have a c-section. I never would have thought I could come to this point and I know it's awful to say, but there are benefits to a c-section. As much as an "earth mother" as I am (I am a vegetarian who drives a Subaru Outback for goodness' sake!), once you recover from the c-section you're good to go "down there." Now moms who had terrible tears from vaginal birth are STILL recovering months and months later and will have incontinence for life. I have a few friends to whom this has happened.

Just feel confident that whatever happens, it will all be ok. Express your fears to your doctors and hopefully they will offer a little more understanding and make the process easier. As far as getting over the fear, just focus on what's really important--becoming a mom! Think about that post-partem time when you have your little one out, safe and sound.

[Anonymous]

Hi OP!

I know you are scared, but it sounds to me like you really understand yourself and your emotions, and that is a good thing. Do not try to push away the fear...it is part of your experience, so you are going to have to try some new techniques. (I am a counselor BTW, and have had TWO C's!!)

Start visualizing positive outcomes. Obviously, you have not had THIS surgery, but start closing your eyes, taking deep breathes, and seeing your son, seeing the dr smiling, seeing your DH by your side, knowing the pain dr will be right there. Focus on the good, and breathe until the anxiety starts to slip away. Start this now and you will be able to return to this focused place when you go into surgery and the old fear starts to kick in.

And getting better. Start writing yourself some notes and posting them around.

"I am strong."

"I have been through harder."

"I will make it through this pain."

"This will not last forever."

You cannot control what is going to happen or your reaction to this surgery, but start TELLING your brain you can do it. B/c you can, and you do not have a choice! The baby is coming out, and just think. You have already endured a HORRIBLE surgery and you have made it. You did it!!!

When you feel yourself slipping into worry, acknowledge it and then say aloud, "I am strong and will get through it"

Sounds hokey, but so much of our physical pain is mental and related to expectations. Start embracing that you will have a period of pain and that you can handle it, rather than IT handling YOU!

Good luck!