I made it to day 3 of the extended family vacation before telling MIL to MYOB

Anonymous
Ugh, I wanted to make it the whole week.
Anonymous
Will telling her to MYOB actually help?

What was the question that tipped you over?

Are you sharing a room with your tiny children who wake up pre-6am?
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Will telling her to MYOB actually help?

What was the question that tipped you over?

Are you sharing a room with your tiny children who wake up pre-6am?


DH and I were disciplining our child (calmly discussing). MIL was arguing with us over it. After explaining our reasoning a few times, and she kept at it, I just said, “honestly this isn’t really any of your business.” And she stalked off.
Anonymous
Why do people continue to share houses with family?
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Will telling her to MYOB actually help?

What was the question that tipped you over?

Are you sharing a room with your tiny children who wake up pre-6am?


DH and I were disciplining our child (calmly discussing). MIL was arguing with us over it. After explaining our reasoning a few times, and she kept at it, I just said, “honestly this isn’t really any of your business.” And she stalked off.


Stand your ground. Do not apologize. She was wrong to get involved.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Will telling her to MYOB actually help?

What was the question that tipped you over?

Are you sharing a room with your tiny children who wake up pre-6am?


DH and I were disciplining our child (calmly discussing). MIL was arguing with us over it. After explaining our reasoning a few times, and she kept at it, I just said, “honestly this isn’t really any of your business.” And she stalked off.


Stand your ground. Do not apologize. She was wrong to get involved.


+1
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Will telling her to MYOB actually help?

What was the question that tipped you over?

Are you sharing a room with your tiny children who wake up pre-6am?


DH and I were disciplining our child (calmly discussing). MIL was arguing with us over it. After explaining our reasoning a few times, and she kept at it, I just said, “honestly this isn’t really any of your business.” And she stalked off.


Stand your ground. Do not apologize. She was wrong to get involved.


+1


+2. But don't discuss further on this trip unless she butts in again.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Will telling her to MYOB actually help?

What was the question that tipped you over?

Are you sharing a room with your tiny children who wake up pre-6am?


DH and I were disciplining our child (calmly discussing). MIL was arguing with us over it. After explaining our reasoning a few times, and she kept at it, I just said, “honestly this isn’t really any of your business.” And she stalked off.


Don't do that. Stop explaining your reasoning. She sees that as an opportunity to debate with you. When she first butts in, you look at your DH sweetly and IGNORE HER. Your DH will already know how you feel about her butting in because you've talked about it, and HE will turn to her and say "mom, we've got this" and usher you and he a few feet further away to continue discussion. If she follows, HE looks at her and says "mom? please let us have a conversation alone".

End scene.

Good luck! I hope you packed vodka!
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Will telling her to MYOB actually help?

What was the question that tipped you over?

Are you sharing a room with your tiny children who wake up pre-6am?


DH and I were disciplining our child (calmly discussing). MIL was arguing with us over it. After explaining our reasoning a few times, and she kept at it, I just said, “honestly this isn’t really any of your business.” And she stalked off.


Don't do that. Stop explaining your reasoning. She sees that as an opportunity to debate with you. When she first butts in, you look at your DH sweetly and IGNORE HER. Your DH will already know how you feel about her butting in because you've talked about it, and HE will turn to her and say "mom, we've got this" and usher you and he a few feet further away to continue discussion. If she follows, HE looks at her and says "mom? please let us have a conversation alone".

End scene.

Good luck! I hope you packed vodka!


Thanks all, I was feeling guilty. Overall the trip hasn’t been too bad. Hopefully I won’t have to say any more.
Anonymous
Standing up to my MIL is the only thing that finally made her back down. No more passive aggressiveness, just upfront telling her, "I am the parent, and I've got everything under control.

When she went to whine to my husband the next morning, he backed me up. She never apologized of course, but the point was taken.
Anonymous
Next time, instead of explaining say "right now, is not the time. if you want to discuss it later, I'm happy to explain my reasons then, but right now, you need to step away and let me parent."

Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Next time, instead of explaining say "right now, is not the time. if you want to discuss it later, I'm happy to explain my reasons then, but right now, you need to step away and let me parent."



Yeah, no. Never explain.

“Mary, we’ve got this covered.”

If she persists, telling her to mind her own business is fair game.
Anonymous
I'm with you OP! Normally I can barely make it 6 hours much less 3 days. More power to you!

I agree with the "Gma we've got this covered thanks" approach, although it doesn't always help prevent the onslaught of "advise".
Anonymous
OP here. We don’t leave until Sunday and I’m done. Why did I agree to this? Inlaws are already discussing next time! Do wives really refuse to travel with their inlaws? And their husbands just say “yes dear!” My husband is not like that.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:OP here. We don’t leave until Sunday and I’m done. Why did I agree to this? Inlaws are already discussing next time! Do wives really refuse to travel with their inlaws? And their husbands just say “yes dear!” My husband is not like that.


So he can go alone or with your kids. You are under no obligation to spend time with these people.
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