freshman class scheduling; helicopter parent or legit concern?

[Anonymous]

My student's orientation was yesterday. Class registration was at the end of the day (students were separate from their parents, who had their own orientation events to attend) so students did this on their own with the help of an academic advisor/upper classman volunteers.) When I saw my kid's schedule I was upset. It wasn't the type of classes he was taking, but the fact that he was taking them so close together, with little time in between, and mostly on m/w/f with almost nothing on t/ th.

He is taking a total of 18 credits, and I'm specifically being a little vague with the exact subjects of his classes. I will mention that the math class is the highest level students typically start off at for this major, most students for this major/school start their freshman year at a lower level. Students have to test into this, and he just barely made the cutoff to qualify for it, so I was already feeling a little apprehensive about too much "overload."

M/W/F

9:00-9:50 Math (building A)
10:00-10:50 English (building E)
11:00-11:50 "class required for major" (building B)
12:00-12:50 Spanish (Building E)

2:00-2:50 Science (Building C)
3:00-3:50 "Class #2 required for major" (Building D), Wednesdays only


For Tuesday he had just one class scheduled for about an hour in the morning, and on Thursdays that same class, plus the lab for his Science class in the afternoon--so Tuesdays and Thursdays were extremely light.

So just right away, looking at the schedule, I was concerned that he was scheduled so tight from 9-1, with just ten minute breaks between each class. Then I looked at a map of where exactly these classes were located, and I was more concerned. Buildings A, B, C, and D are all fairly close together, but Building E is a ways off--according to Googlemaps it's half a mile away and about a ten minute walk, and that's just building to building, not accounting for actually getting into the classroom, and getting in a seat. And with the schedule above, he'd be making that trip EACH TIME he switched classes in the morning (3 times.)
If the walk to each building takes the full ten minutes, that leaves no time for a quick restroom break, to account for those times the professor keeps lecturing past end time, a minute to chat with a classmate about setting up a study group, etc.

I told him no way. This schedule was practically pre-destining him for stress and failure. I wanted him to see about moving at least one of the classes to T/Th to help balance the load. He gave me a hard time, saying he didn't want too much of a break between classes. I ended up going to where the advisors were and asking them to help change his schedule.
I did NOT want to do this. I did not want to interfere, I do NOT want to be "that parent." But I'm about to drop $40k a year, we are not wealthy and I will be making major sacrifices....and that schedule just seemed set up for failure.

Was a wrong? Should I have just let him keep that schedule, even if I'm pretty certain it was way too overloaded and would be stressful to navigate. Was I "that parent?"

[Anonymous]

"He gave me a hard time, saying he didn't want too much of a break between classes."

Support him. Tell him you know he can do this. By stepping in, you are basically telling him you don't think he can do the work.

No matter what the schedule, he'll probably call home at some point to say he's stressed, overwhelmed, or super busy. Resist the urge to hold this over his head.

Maybe he can handle it. Maybe he can't. He's going to learn how he best needs to manage his time.

[Anonymous]

So your son is in college, you won't let him set his own schedule and you have to ask if you are a helicopter parent?

[Anonymous]

I used to work freshman orientation at my college, and there's a reason you're not allowed in for class selection.

Let him figure it out.

[Anonymous]

Yes, you were wrong. If you really wanted an advisor's input, you should have suggested that your son talk to them about the feasibility of his schedule rather than doing it yourself. More generally, though, his schedule is not inherently bad. A lot of college kids find the kind of schedule he put together to be really helpful, where they have some days full of class time and other days are more open for studying and other activities. Some students find it really challenging to use their time well when they have two hours of classes in the morning, a two hour break (including lunch), another hour class, then a couple of hours before practice or another extracurricular, because it's too choppy to feel "worth it" to schlepp yourself to the library or something to only study for an hour, so the time gets wasted instead.

[Anonymous]

Yes you were that parent. And, you not only criticized his judgment, you embarrassed him. I cannot believe you really did this to him.

[Anonymous]

This is a freshman in college?

BUTT. OUT. Why are you even looking at his schedule?

He will figure out what works for him. That's part of the process.

When I was in college, I always purposefully scheduled light days and heavy days.

[Anonymous]

Mine is just finishing her freshman year and I definitely advised her on balancing her classes to avoid this. She agreed when I pointed that out and adjusted. I think as long as you explain it to him and step away that is fine. The issue could be that now some classes on Tues/Thur are full but he can most likely just show up and try to get in. Either way, his schedule sounds like it needs balance but since he's been in high school where he's likely gone class to class it didn't seem odd to him.

[Anonymous]

There is no reason for you to be involved in this. He has to figure it out on his own. Maybe the classes are too close together, but he will learn then change for next semester. It's part of the college experience.

[Anonymous]

IME, those with longer breaks between classes skip more. If you have 2 hours to kill, most students go back to their dorms instead of staying on the main campus. Once in the dorms they get distracted by naps or friends and tend to skip.

I'm 100% shocked the advisers would even entertain your request. Is your kid under 18? If so, I can see how but if not, bravo for you for getting that done. Where I taught would not have let that happen for an 18-year-old. I had parents go to the Dean of my college to complain about me not telling them their kid's grades. They didn't understand that just because you pay for it doesn't mean you have access to it unless the student gives you access.

Where I taught, most lower level courses were MWF and most higher level courses were T/Thr for longer periods of time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My student's orientation was yesterday. Class registration was at the end of the day (students were separate from their parents, who had their own orientation events to attend) so students did this on their own with the help of an academic advisor/upper classman volunteers.) When I saw my kid's schedule I was upset. It wasn't the type of classes he was taking, but the fact that he was taking them so close together, with little time in between, and mostly on m/w/f with almost nothing on t/ th.

He is taking a total of 18 credits, and I'm specifically being a little vague with the exact subjects of his classes. I will mention that the math class is the highest level students typically start off at for this major, most students for this major/school start their freshman year at a lower level. Students have to test into this, and he just barely made the cutoff to qualify for it, so I was already feeling a little apprehensive about too much "overload."

M/W/F

9:00-9:50 Math (building A)
10:00-10:50 English (building E)
11:00-11:50 "class required for major" (building B)
12:00-12:50 Spanish (Building E)

2:00-2:50 Science (Building C)
3:00-3:50 "Class #2 required for major" (Building D), Wednesdays only


For Tuesday he had just one class scheduled for about an hour in the morning, and on Thursdays that same class, plus the lab for his Science class in the afternoon--so Tuesdays and Thursdays were extremely light.

So just right away, looking at the schedule, I was concerned that he was scheduled so tight from 9-1, with just ten minute breaks between each class. Then I looked at a map of where exactly these classes were located, and I was more concerned. Buildings A, B, C, and D are all fairly close together, but Building E is a ways off--according to Googlemaps it's half a mile away and about a ten minute walk, and that's just building to building, not accounting for actually getting into the classroom, and getting in a seat. And with the schedule above, he'd be making that trip EACH TIME he switched classes in the morning (3 times.)
If the walk to each building takes the full ten minutes, that leaves no time for a quick restroom break, to account for those times the professor keeps lecturing past end time, a minute to chat with a classmate about setting up a study group, etc.

I told him no way. This schedule was practically pre-destining him for stress and failure. I wanted him to see about moving at least one of the classes to T/Th to help balance the load. He gave me a hard time, saying he didn't want too much of a break between classes. I ended up going to where the advisors were and asking them to help change his schedule.
I did NOT want to do this. I did not want to interfere, I do NOT want to be "that parent." But I'm about to drop $40k a year, we are not wealthy and I will be making major sacrifices....and that schedule just seemed set up for failure.

Was a wrong? Should I have just let him keep that schedule, even if I'm pretty certain it was way too overloaded and would be stressful to navigate. Was I "that parent?"

Holy crap lady. Next level. You're now known among the advisors.

I would apologize to your son.

[Anonymous]

Sorry to pile on, OP, but I agree that you were out of line. Apologize to your son. Tell him this will be a learning process for both of you and you will do a better job next opportunity.

[Anonymous]

Both! That schedule is a disaster (assuming the buildings aren't all tiny and adjacent) but he needs to find that out himself. Beyond low-key "wondering" if that schedule is too tight you should have kept quiet.

[Anonymous]

Good God OP, you need to back WAY off. I mentor college kids (and graduated college a decade ago) and schedules like that are pretty common. A lot of college kids like having a day or two completely off or light.

I can't believe you marched in there and made the advisors change his schedule. I can't believe you have such little faith in your child. Unfortunately, I've seen MANY children like yours go completely off the deep end in college. And it's not because of their schedule or anything like that. It's bevaise their parent has controlled their life for so long, they relish at the chance for freedom. But because their parents never let them figure things out for themselves, they often go overboard and then bad things happen. It's too late for you to back.off your son, but land the control freak attitude for any other kids you have.

[Anonymous]

Your son is smart. He got good advice that leaving an hour gap will just have him heading back to his dorm for a nap. Now he can plow through the day and get it done.
- Been there. Done that.