freshman class scheduling; helicopter parent or legit concern?
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Anonymous
Assisting him in class/schedule selection is like a parenting being a very involved baseball coach. Going up to the adviser and complaining is the sideline parent going up to the bench and yelling at the coach. |
Anonymous
I had to do summer school TWICE in high school in order to graduate from it. Then when I started college my mother signed me up for 21 credits, claiming a few of the classes were "Easy A's" like gym, psychology, freshman seminar (something like that, I don't recall the exact name). Meanwhile over the summer before college started, I had to take two remedial math classes and one remedial reading class based on the college placement test they made me take. DESPITE the remedial classes, when I took the easiest math class they offered it was like I was a 4 yr old taking an Advanced Calculus With Honors course, taught in Chinese. I was so completely lost I couldn't even articulate to the teacher what I didn't understand. I failed out of college. When I shamefully moved home and people started finding out I'd signed up for 21 credits they were aghast. I had no idea my mother had set me up to be so completely overwhelmed and most people took 12-16. If you want to graduate early, my advice is to cram extra credits junior and senior years, not freshman year. |
Anonymous
Oh please. Does “this for a living.” That’s a hoot. Can’t speak to this situation in particular, but most academic advisers are like, yeah, whatever, fine, blah, blah, blah, sounds good. |
Anonymous
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Yes, you’re a nightmare. You should apologize to your son.
I set up my schedule with three days on and two off because it gave me large chunks of time to write papers and study. Fortunately, my parents didn’t even consider overriding my decision. Honestly, I don’t think it would have occurred to them to micromanage to that degree. |
Anonymous
| All of my classes were back to back on MWF for the most part. I think I had 1 classes on T/TR. I knew I couldn't dawdle between classes so I was ready to leave one class once it ended and I walked briskly through the campus. If I had to use the bathroom, I put my backpack down at a seat and went. Not a big deal. If this schedule doesn't work out, it's only for one semester. Take a deep breath and remove yourself from this situation. I am assuming your child is an adult and can figure this out on his own. |
Anonymous
although I agree with you, it might be legit to point out that scheduling classes with 10 minutes in between might be a problem on a big campus. I was on a campus where it couldn't be done sometimes. If they're in the same building no problem, but I'd tell my kid to look at the campus map and make sure the choices are feasible. |
Anonymous
| My parents had no idea what classes I signed up for. I signed up for 8:30am classes assuming that since high school started at 7:20 and it was a small campus, I would have a ton of time in the morning. I learned that first semester that 8:30 is a tough time for many college students and I adjusted the rest of the school year. I hope your son does well, op, and can find a way to do his own thing. |
Anonymous
| What time will you wipe his nose and wipe his ass? Will you scribe his notes when his tummy hurts? Will you ask the girls he meets for their medical records? |
Anonymous
| There are also these nifty things called bicycles now that can help you travel a half-mile in about two minutes. |
Anonymous
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OP, I get it
You need to have a good enough relationship with him --- beyond you demanding things --- to sit down together and tweak this. Help him become comfortable with dropping and adding classes. |
Anonymous
Exactly. Parents are always taken to a separate room during the portion so they have no input. Even then we sometimes have to "guide" them away. As I said before in an earlier reply I made, parents equate paying for college as control of over what can be taken. |
Anonymous
More importantly, when will you have time to breastfeed him? This concerns me the most. |
Anonymous
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Op. You are right, your son is not giving himself enough time to get between classes and he will have too many exams/assignment falling due the same day of the week.
18 credits is a lot even when they are split between M/W/F and T/H. That said, your kid has his reasons for wanting a light T/TH. He is the one who made this schedule and he'll have to work it out with his professors if he's consistently a few minutes late every day. He may ask his professors if he can leave class 5 minutes early in order to make the classes on time. He would have figured it out and you should have let him figure it out. I totally understand where you were coming from though. Your his mom and you don't suddenly stop looking out for his best interests the minute he goes into college. I get it. But you need to back off. |
Anonymous
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I have not read all the comments.
First, I think 18 hours is too many hours for his first semester. He needs to be spending time making friends, too. Second, whether to have classes back to back like that is a personal preference. I remember discussing this with friends in law school. I preferred spreading my classes out over four to five days and having them on more days but fewer hours per day. Others prefer doing a lot back to back on a couple days. For the first point, I would recommend expressing that to your son, but what he wants to do with that advice is up to HIM. No, you should not be there trying to get his schedule rearranged. My god. |
Anonymous
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How did he get that many courses as a first semester freshman?
Also, which colleges had freshmen orientation this week? They just turned in their final commitments. Most orientations are later in the summer. And yes, you are that parent. |