Polite way to say "We are not revealing our name choices?"

Anonymous
Title says it all - thanks. Don't want to offend friends and family but there is no way we are telling!
Anonymous
Just tell them you haven't decided yet, and you'll let them know when there is news to share. It drove our family crazy we weren't telling them the name, and coworkers, etc. would constantly ask. It was just easier to say we're really having trouble coming up with a name so we're taking our time, we may not even have a name until the baby is born. They will still ask all the time but I tried saying well, my husband and I both have a name we both like and we're at an impasse. (They will try to get your short list, too). Good luck to you and stay strong! People love to be nosy throughout your pregnancy and this is no exception!
Anonymous
us: We have a short list but haven't made any decisions yet.


if pressed ...

us: No really, we're not sure.


Anonymous
Agree with PP. Some people are offended if you say "we're keeping that surprise to ourselves." Why it's their business to know in advance, I don't know! So: lie, and tell them you haven't decided and don't want to say anything until you're sure. Then just don't be "sure" until the baby is born. Works for baby's sex, too.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Agree with PP. Some people are offended if you say "we're keeping that surprise to ourselves." Why it's their business to know in advance, I don't know! So: lie, and tell them you haven't decided and don't want to say anything until you're sure. Then just don't be "sure" until the baby is born. Works for baby's sex, too.


In fairness, this is a relatively new phenomenon. It is one that I -and many people- find bizarre (I would not say "offensive". If you can't deal with the possibility of negative responses to the name choice, then you have a long road ahead of you in dealing with annoyances where the baby is concerned.

Having said that, you just say "we decided not to tell in advance of the birth." If they press you on it, repeat as needed.
Anonymous
OP here - many thanks. I think we will go the "we just can't decide route."
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Agree with PP. Some people are offended if you say "we're keeping that surprise to ourselves." Why it's their business to know in advance, I don't know! So: lie, and tell them you haven't decided and don't want to say anything until you're sure. Then just don't be "sure" until the baby is born. Works for baby's sex, too.


In fairness, this is a relatively new phenomenon. It is one that I -and many people- find bizarre (I would not say "offensive". If you can't deal with the possibility of negative responses to the name choice, then you have a long road ahead of you in dealing with annoyances where the baby is concerned.

Having said that, you just say "we decided not to tell in advance of the birth." If they press you on it, repeat as needed.


I completely agree. It just reeks of people taking an already special event and trying to wring every little bit out of it. If you don't want to share just tell people you haven't decided yet. Simple. No drama necessary.
Anonymous
Do people really not share their name choice because they're afraid of criticism? Everyone has an opinion--i dont disagree with that but i never realized that's why people dont share. I always thought it was a superstition thing--or wanting to preserve an element of surprise.
Anonymous
i just say we're doing it for good luck.
Anonymous
I think it's totally normal not to tell now. I would say that more of my friends save the name than reveal it, especially now that most people seem to find out the gender in advance. The name is a way to still surprise everyone at the birth. All you have to say is "We think we have one, but we're keeping it to ourselves for now." Don't be bullied into telling if you don't want to! 99% of people understand and won't think twice about it. I mean, they might want to know what it is, but they know you don't owe it to anyone to tell.
Anonymous
16:06 here. We kept our name a secret for two reasons: (1) to preserve one small element of surprise since everyone knew we were having a girl already, and (2) just in case we changed our mind. I'm very much of the idea that our baby is the most important thing in the world to us, but to everyone else it's just another baby, so it definitely wasn't trying to make it incredibly dramatic or super special or anything. (I think it's a little crazy to take that kind of attitude, actually -- it's pretty entitled and negative. "Who do you think you are not to tell me your name? Why are you so special?" I mean, that's weird. That's making it about you.)
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Agree with PP. Some people are offended if you say "we're keeping that surprise to ourselves." Why it's their business to know in advance, I don't know! So: lie, and tell them you haven't decided and don't want to say anything until you're sure. Then just don't be "sure" until the baby is born. Works for baby's sex, too.


In fairness, this is a relatively new phenomenon. It is one that I -and many people- find bizarre (I would not say "offensive". If you can't deal with the possibility of negative responses to the name choice, then you have a long road ahead of you in dealing with annoyances where the baby is concerned.

Having said that, you just say "we decided not to tell in advance of the birth." If they press you on it, repeat as needed.


The phenomenon can't be that new since my mom didn't even know if I was a boy or girl until I was born so the name was not decided on until the birth.

We actually shared the name with our first child, but I may change things this time around because my mother is way too opinionated!
Anonymous
my dad still asks me every day. i'm sort of enjoying it.
Anonymous
People ask me like 5 times a day and I just say, "we decided but we're keeping it a secret" and it's not a problem. No one seems offended in the least.
Anonymous
We had narrowed it down to 2-3 names, but never officially decided on a name. I did have my heart set on one and almost ordered an embroidered blanket; good thing I didn't because when DS was born, I totally went with another one on our list after seeing him.

Just tell people you haven't decided. That always worked and people eventually went away.
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