Polite way to say "We are not revealing our name choices?"

[Anonymous]

I told people shockingly awful names and then smiled sweetly, daring them to say anything negative about them. If in face they still did (and most did), I simply said, "And that's why we're not revealing the real name we've picked out."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here - many thanks. I think we will go the "we just can't decide route."

I tried this and it turned into a "here's my suggestion" fest - how about X, Y or Z and you can spell like this....

With that said, I agree with 16:06 "(1) to preserve one small element of surprise since everyone knew we were having a girl already, and (2) just in case we changed our mind."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I told people shockingly awful names and then smiled sweetly, daring them to say anything negative about them. If in face they still did (and most did), I simply said, "And that's why we're not revealing the real name we've picked out."

HA!! My husband did that! I thought his mother was going to have a heart attack.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:16:06 here. We kept our name a secret for two reasons: (1) to preserve one small element of surprise since everyone knew we were having a girl already, and (2) just in case we changed our mind. I'm very much of the idea that our baby is the most important thing in the world to us, but to everyone else it's just another baby, so it definitely wasn't trying to make it incredibly dramatic or super special or anything. (I think it's a little crazy to take that kind of attitude, actually -- it's pretty entitled and negative. "Who do you think you are not to tell me your name? Why are you so special?" I mean, that's weird. That's making it about you.)

This is exactly why we are not sharing. My last friend that had a baby was a planned c-section, we knew it was a boy, and we knew the name. By the time the baby got here and I got the text from my friend it was old news. We're planning on sharing the sex and I have to have a c-section for medical reasons, so I want to leave at least something to be a suprise. I don't know of anyone that is not sharing solely because of not wanting to hear people's reactions to the names.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Agree with PP. Some people are offended if you say "we're keeping that surprise to ourselves." Why it's their business to know in advance, I don't know! So: lie, and tell them you haven't decided and don't want to say anything until you're sure. Then just don't be "sure" until the baby is born. Works for baby's sex, too.

In fairness, this is a relatively new phenomenon. It is one that I -and many people- find bizarre (I would not say "offensive". If you can't deal with the possibility of negative responses to the name choice, then you have a long road ahead of you in dealing with annoyances where the baby is concerned.

Having said that, you just say "we decided not to tell in advance of the birth." If they press you on it, repeat as needed.

The phenomenon can't be that new since my mom didn't even know if I was a boy or girl until I was born so the name was not decided on until the birth.

We actually shared the name with our first child, but I may change things this time around because my mother is way too opinionated!

I had never had someone not tell me -if they had indeed narrowed it down to a name(s)- until within the last 10 years or so. But, whatever. If you don't want to do so, don't.
I didn't care if people liked our name or not. We told people. Had one sort of negative reaction to it but told the person, frankly, that it didn't matter whether they liked it; we like it. That shut them up fast.

[Anonymous]

I'm always a little offended when people won't tell -- although I don't show it. I know it's their choice, but it seems rude to me. I think saying you haven't decided is better.

[Anonymous]

My southern in-laws are very agitated with our decision to keep the name to ourselves until the birth. Apparently the mystery interferes with their extensive monogramming projects. DEAR G-D, HOW CAN A BABY ENTER THIS WORLD WITHOUT A FULL MONOGRAMMED LAYETTE???

The thing is, we're not lying when we say we haven't decided. I mean, we have a leading candidate, but we don't want to rule out changing our minds when we see the baby for the first time and realize "She doesn't look anything like a [candidate name]!"

We do have a silly temporary name for the baby, though, and that seems to satisfy [non-in-law] people when they ask about names.

[Anonymous]

Huh. We just say that we have decided on names but we aren't telling anyone. Which seems perfectly polite to me. If anyone is offended, that's their problem. And so far, if they have been, they've had the social graces to hide it.

[Anonymous]

I told people:"we haven't decided yet, we will decide at the last minute". When people said "I don't believe you, you just won't tell me", I would simply say nothing/not answer.

[Anonymous]

What has been a little annoying to me is that the same people ask the same question and I respond with "we haven't decided yet" or "we still do not know" and then I am met with responses like "YOU STILL DON'T HAVE A NAME???" as if this is some sort of deficiency. Damned if you do, damned if you don't.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What has been a little annoying to me is that the same people ask the same question and I respond with "we haven't decided yet" or "we still do not know" and then I am met with responses like "YOU STILL DON'T HAVE A NAME???" as if this is some sort of deficiency. Damned if you do, damned if you don't.

Who cares what other people say or think...
It's your pregnancy, you do what you want...People really should mind their business!

[Anonymous]

My DH and I had fake out names. I always said Jane and he always said John. Meanwhile, those were not even close!

[Anonymous]

You could say: we are waiting to meet the baby to decide on a name that suits him or her best.

[Anonymous]

I said we think we have one but aren't saying because (1) we want to be sure the name fits when we see her and (2) we think it's bad luck to use it before she's born. So we are calling her [insert crazy made up name] until then. We told close family what the name was we were thinking of but asked them please not to even utter it because of bad luck.

With #2 we just said the name so DC#1 wouldn't be confused by the fake to real name switcheroo. Felt a little weird for awhile though.

[Anonymous]

We said "we've decided to keep that to ourselves until after the baby arrives." Didn't stop some people from sharing their suggestions for names to choose or avoid, but it did allow us to avoid the whole "why did you pick that? xyz name is so much better!" thing.