Is it cheating if you're separated?

[Anonymous]

I'm seriously curious on opinions now. Is it only cheating if for some miracle reason the spouses decide to get back together?

[Anonymous]

Of course not!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Of course not!

To the title, right? Separated = open season?

[Anonymous]

Did you and your spouse discuss whether you would see other people during the separation? Are you trying to repair the relationship? If you’re trying to repair the relationship, I don’t recommend seeing anyone else. If you don’t want to fix your marriage and don’t plan to get back together, then go for it.

[Anonymous]

Is it just sex?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm seriously curious on opinions now. Is it only cheating if for some miracle reason the spouses decide to get back together?

[Anonymous]

Unless the spouses want to work things out and specifically discuss not seeing other people no, I don't think it's cheating.

[Anonymous]

You're separated. Period.

Separated means you're on the way to being NOT married.

You can't be cheating if you're essentially no longer married.

[Anonymous]

I think it’s cheating while you’re still married

[Anonymous]

I agree with folks it's in the terms you and spouse had understood. Some people separate because they know they are divorcing. Some people separate because they still hope to work it out. Some people separate to think through their options but would not want their partner to hook up with another person unless they had agreed to see others... etc.

BTW: if you have children and are having a custody battle, cheating is a very bad idea. That is not related to the ethical point above, but to the practical realities about custody.

[Anonymous]

Separated still means married.

Separated can mean many things and happen for many reasons.

Once you are both full steam ahead towards divorce and everything is settled and there is no turning back and both of you are in a mental space to move on, then do your thing.

[Anonymous]

As long as you're not lying about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I agree with folks it's in the terms you and spouse had understood. Some people separate because they know they are divorcing. Some people separate because they still hope to work it out. Some people separate to think through their options but would not want their partner to hook up with another person unless they had agreed to see others... etc.

BTW: if you have children and are having a custody battle, cheating is a very bad idea. That is not related to the ethical point above, but to the practical realities about custody.

Agree. If the couple is separated but everyone has the full intent to reconcile (i.e. separated while one spouse pursues therapy, rehab, whatever), then it's cheating. If they're separated and marching towards divorce, I think it can be "messy" to be dating before anyone has actually officially filed for divorce but it isn't necessarily cheating.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree with folks it's in the terms you and spouse had understood. Some people separate because they know they are divorcing. Some people separate because they still hope to work it out. Some people separate to think through their options but would not want their partner to hook up with another person unless they had agreed to see others... etc.

BTW: if you have children and are having a custody battle, cheating is a very bad idea. That is not related to the ethical point above, but to the practical realities about custody.

Agree. If the couple is separated but everyone has the full intent to reconcile (i.e. separated while one spouse pursues therapy, rehab, whatever), then it's cheating. If they're separated and marching towards divorce, I think it can be "messy" to be dating before anyone has actually officially filed for divorce but it isn't necessarily cheating.

I was going to say it's not cheating, but this is well-said.

[Anonymous]

It depends. Are you considering being emotionally invested in someone else or just sleeping with them?