Enough about your pool!
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Anonymous
| My parents, at the end of last summer, moved to a new community with a pool. Our kids were, and will be again this summer, in a camp with daily access to a pool and swimming. We also have a neighborhood pool we can and do access for a nominal fee. We usually don’t, however, since the kids are often tired of swimming and would rather do something else unless their friends are there. So when my parents would call and ask if they wanted to come for a swim, it just wasn’t appealing. My mom would call constantly and ask for a pool party, and be upset when the kids would say they’d rather do something else. We were relieved when it finally closed, but now the requests are rolling in again. Kids say it’s still too cold, since this pool isn’t heated well, and I know once camp starts, they will be all pooled out by Friday afternoon. How can I politely turn down these invites for them without hurting her feelings? |
Anonymous
| Her feelings are going to get hurt. She wants to show off her pool. She's an adult and will need to deal with it. |
Anonymous
| Can you plan one weekend where you go over as a family for a bbq and pool party? Maybe for Father's day or a summer birthday or back to school party. Then she has something to look forward to and you checked it off your list. |
Anonymous
| Just acknowledge her excitement -that’s all she wants! Next time she asks just say “Mom, I know you’re excited about the pool but unfortunately it’s not a novelty the kids since they already spend so much camp time swimming anyway.” Think about something your kids would like near them-is there a playground, park, bike paths or something else that would be new and appealing to them that you can suggest? |
Anonymous
| Ha! Just be candid! If you say it nice, it won't hurt her feelings. If you say it too nice, she won't get the hint and she'll keep asking. |
Anonymous
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That's obviously why they moved there in the first place. She had a vision and it's not playing out like she thought.
It's the same with my ILs, they moved into a gigantic house in a pool community so we would come visit and swim in the pool. Then we left the country for 16 years. |
Anonymous
| Would it kill you to just go once or twice? |
Anonymous
| It sounds like she's trying to connect with the kids and that is a good (great) thing imo. Maybe there are other activities you could suggest? I understand that your kids may be all "pooled out" because of the camp but there must be something they could do with their grandparents! |
Anonymous
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Have you told her the exact reason why your kids don't want to go? Honesty is the best policy here. And if she asks once too many times, it's perfectly fine to get a little testy. She deserves it. |
Anonymous
| My parents have done this, too, only it’s their personal pool and in another state. Our failure to visit often and have the kids properly stir up the pool water is a source of much consternation and blame since the cost of maintaining the pool increases when it isn’t used enough. |
Anonymous
Yeah, you need to get together with them anyway, right? The kids may be "pooled out" but it is OK for you to say, as the parent, that the pool is the place where you are going to get together with Grandma and Grandpa this week/this month. I think that watching grandkids enjoy a pool is one way for grandparents to enjoy summertime together. (And what else are you going to do with them? Sit at their house while the kids are on their iPads?) |
Anonymous
Exactly this. She wants to spend time with her grandkids. I guess the pool doesn't work. Is there something else that might? |
Anonymous
| You don't turn it down. You make your children go and have fun with their grandparents. |
Anonymous
But the whole point is the kids don't think the pool is fun. |
Anonymous
| Yours are the first kids I’ve ever heard of who get pooled out. It’s my dream. |