Help! I am a serial spender.....

[Anonymous]

so although I make a good living, contribute to 401k, save, I could be doing way more of this. Now that I am in my 30s I am starting to feel guilty and stupid for the amount of money I waste on happy hours, eating out, shopping, anything. I work two jobs so I think for a long time I have justified it with I work hard so why not play hard. Does anyone else have the problem? How did you change your habits?

[Anonymous]

You know what you need to do but you just dont wanna do it. Stop spending to much. Cut back. It's that simple; there are no tricks besides denying yourself.

If you are an impulse online shopper, put stuff in your cart and wait 2-4 days. If you still want it after that time, buy it, but also make yourself give away the same number of pieces that you're buying.

Unsubscribe from coupon/specials/deals from your favorite stores. Spending money to save is still spending money.

Cut back on the number of times you eat out on the weekend. If you go out 4x/weekend, cut it back to two. If you go to happy hour and order 4 drinks, keep it to a two drink maximum, or stick to house wine/cheap beer rather than a fancy cocktail.

If you buy lunch every day, cut it back to once a week, and meal prep the other days. If you hate cooking, buy premade healthy meals from Costco or TJs (costco has several delicious meals made in house that only need to be baked) and take those for lunches/dinners.

Have too many subscriptions? Find a friend or family member and offer to share passwords -- one of you subscribe to Netflix and another to Hulu, etc.

It's not hard, it just requires discipline.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You know what you need to do but you just dont wanna do it. Stop spending to much. Cut back. It's that simple; there are no tricks besides denying yourself.

If you are an impulse online shopper, put stuff in your cart and wait 2-4 days. If you still want it after that time, buy it, but also make yourself give away the same number of pieces that you're buying.

Unsubscribe from coupon/specials/deals from your favorite stores. Spending money to save is still spending money.

Cut back on the number of times you eat out on the weekend. If you go out 4x/weekend, cut it back to two. If you go to happy hour and order 4 drinks, keep it to a two drink maximum, or stick to house wine/cheap beer rather than a fancy cocktail.

If you buy lunch every day, cut it back to once a week, and meal prep the other days. If you hate cooking, buy premade healthy meals from Costco or TJs (costco has several delicious meals made in house that only need to be baked) and take those for lunches/dinners.

Have too many subscriptions? Find a friend or family member and offer to share passwords -- one of you subscribe to Netflix and another to Hulu, etc.

It's not hard, it just requires discipline.

That’s right, OP. Be a crook!

[Anonymous]

Just wanted to let you know that you’re not alone. I’m the same way. Read the blog “be more with less”. It helps me. Also, look up “break the twitch” blog.

[Anonymous]

http://www.mentalhealthamerica.net/conditions/risky-business-compulsive-buying

[Anonymous]

How do you find stuff to buy?

[Anonymous]

Give yourself a cash budget each week for variable spending. When it is gone, it is gone until the next week.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:so although I make a good living, contribute to 401k, save, I could be doing way more of this. Now that I am in my 30s I am starting to feel guilty and stupid for the amount of money I waste on happy hours, eating out, shopping, anything. I work two jobs so I think for a long time I have justified it with I work hard so why not play hard. Does anyone else have the problem? How did you change your habits?

for me what worked was realizing that if I didn't stop spending money on stupid crap I could become a Walmart greeter when I'm 60 years old.

[Anonymous]

Have a goal. Read personal finance blogs and forums for inspiration.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Have a goal. Read personal finance blogs and forums for inspiration.

This is good advice. With time, it gets pretty easy to do, but it takes time to change habits.

You are thinking the right way. Lifestyle creep is a huge problem at *all* income levels.

Also always remember that the rich person isn't the person with the most cash or highest income, it's the person that has/makes more than they need.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Give yourself a cash budget each week for variable spending. When it is gone, it is gone until the next week.

This.

My mother is really well off, but she lives on a monthly budget. So at the end of the month (until her next check comes) she's always saying it's eggs and noodles for dinner until she gets paid again. It's not because she doesn't have more money, she does. But if she's already spent her money on eating out etc, she cuts back.

If you go big, you need at least as many (if not more) times when you go really small or scrimp.

[Anonymous]

When you are young and single going out to happy hours, vacations, nice clothes, decent car is an investment.

on-line shopping, starbucks, restaurant meals unless you are a male on a date are a waste. It serves no purpose.

As long as you keep the 401K up and don't go into debt who cares what you spend if single. When you are married plenty of years to save.

There is a saying you Can't be Young when you are Old.

Fancy vacations, nice car, living in a trendy city, when you are 70 and retired is boring.

When I was broke and 29 and single I bought a used Mercedes convertible that was 18 years old with 110,000 miles. Top down with a wash and wax no one knew the difference and remember I was dating 25- 29 year old girls so what did they know. Had it till I was 34 and go married. Took my wife on first date in it. My wife laughs now as she realizes what a piece of junk it was, our first date car was now 21 year old with like 120K miles, but when she heard for first date I was picking her up in a Mercedes Convertible with top down she bought a new outfit. Now I am a cheapskate and would never pay all the dam maintence and repairs that old car cost me. Live life.

[Anonymous]

Pay yourself first. Have money from your paycheck deposited directly into a savings account, IRA, and 401k/403b/etc. Try not to look at these accounts much. Set up auto debits for recurring expenses like rent or mortgage, charitable donations, and phone/cable bill. Whatever else is left in your checking account is for you to use. As long as you can pay your bills at the end of the month, you are living within your means.

I max out retirement savings, have no debt but mortgage (and pay extra on it each month), and give 10% of my gross salary to charity each year. When I splurge on something I think of it as stimulating the economy (tipping well is part of this). So if I want to go to a baseball game or a play or a restaurant, it's fine--nobody knows how long they'll live, so it's good to enjoy life while you can, while still planning for the future and not digging yourself into financial holes.

[Anonymous]

I have/had the same problem. You really just have to learn to say no and walk away or if it's online, close the browser and find something else to occupy your time. Personally clothes shopping is a huge weakness for me. I love nice clothes and at one point I was spending hundreds every month buying new clothes and shoes. I also remind myself that I already have more than enough.

[Anonymous]

What shocked me OP into changing my ways was meeting people in their retirement years who had nothing. They were barely surviving on what SS they got, some were eating dog food (I’m dead serious), one lady could only afford cans of tuna, one guy told me he only ate one meal a day because he needed money for his meds; needless to say, I vowed to never end up like them and I’ve done a complete 180.