Question for former SAHM's who work PT low paid jobs by choice

[Anonymous]

Hello all!

My youngest entered full day school this year and I'm strongly considering a part-time job next year either at our former preschool or in our elementary school as a teacher's aide or in the office. The pay is low and we do not need the money (but hey its always nice) but I just feel like I need more social interaction and to feel like I am contributing to the world in some minuscule way. Basically, I have learned this year that I am bored and lonely (I can only do so much housework) and if I am left alone too much I start worrying about dumb things. I will still be home with the kids in the afternoons and summers, etc.

Looking to hear from SAHM's who have BTDT and whether it was a good decision for them or not. I don't want to add unnecessary stress on myself or the family. I only want to do this if its a net positive.

Thanks.

[Anonymous]

I did a PT job when mine were small for 5+ years, and now I'm FT. But - my PT job was a professional-type job and all year round, 100% WAH. It was very easy to manage, but I didn't get any real-life social interaction - only instant messaging! I'm very glad I stayed in the working world because I got a good job after many years on the Mommy track. I'm behind people my age in some ways, but I have no regrets at all about how I spent my time.

Many women in your shoes just volunteer - it's easy to blow off if a kid gets sick.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I did a PT job when mine were small for 5+ years, and now I'm FT. But - my PT job was a professional-type job and all year round, 100% WAH. It was very easy to manage, but I didn't get any real-life social interaction - only instant messaging! I'm very glad I stayed in the working world because I got a good job after many years on the Mommy track. I'm behind people my age in some ways, but I have no regrets at all about how I spent my time.

Many women in your shoes just volunteer - it's easy to blow off if a kid gets sick.

OP here. Thanks. I do volunteer but it’s only a few hours a week. I’m looking for more like 15-20 hours but want school holidays and summers off as I am still primary parent. Sick days, snow days, etc. are still all on me. Plus I may eventually want to do something more full time so a “real” part time job would be better for that.

[Anonymous]

Op this was me a couple years ago. Once my little one was full day I worked PT at his school. Decent pay for a small private but great benefits that DH loves. I get all days off but it gets stressful when kids are sick like the flu. I had to take a week off due to that! I would say 80% of the time I’m happy I’m working, but 20% of the time I’m like I could just stay home and play tennis everyday! I also spend way less money bc I’m so busy and need to structure my time well. Pros and cons but I needed to be out of the house doing something.

[Anonymous]

I got a part-time job in an office that I love and it's been worth it for me. I don't make much money at all, but I'm very good at what I do and I love the people I work with.

[Anonymous]

OP here. Did you find that you were still able to get all of your “chores” done around the house? For the first time in 10 years I am not running around ragged and I don’t want to return to that...but as my kids need me less (I know they will always need me some) I’d like some identity beyond being the lady who makes clean laundry and dinner magically appear.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Did you find that you were still able to get all of your “chores” done around the house? For the first time in 10 years I am not running around ragged and I don’t want to return to that...but as my kids need me less (I know they will always need me some) I’d like some identity beyond being the lady who makes clean laundry and dinner magically appear.

Well you might have to let some stuff slip. Meals will be simpler; there will be more leftovers. And the older kid(s) should probably start doing their own laundry and generally pitch in to cover the gap. As should your DH. But this is good for everyone and especially the kids. They see both parents working and balancing home, and they learn to do more around the house.

[Anonymous]

Yes I do run around ragged! Groceries on weekends now then 10am weekdays. Laundry is usually weekends. I never liked to do dinner but that’s definitely gone downhill. A clean organized house is only on the weekends. But I am fulfilled being super busy, but yes it is stressful a lot of the time which is when I ponder why I’m doing this!

[Anonymous]

OP again. What about housecleaners? We had them when the kids were really little, then once my youngest went 1/2 days all 5 days, we started cleaning the house ourselves - mostly me but DH helps a lot in the bathrooms. I’m wondering if we should go back to house cleaners if I end up getting a job next year - even just every 3 or 4 weeks?

Sorry to sound so neurotic - I’m worried about balance. I have a lot of free time now, but don’t want to over correct the other way.

[Anonymous]

This is me! Have worked PT in a school since the third one started first grade. I am on a school schedule, so don't work all summer, every school break and every snow day - and, I don't get paid during all that time off either. The pay is miniscule, but I am not doing it for the pay
And, I love it! I am still the primary one to handle kid stuff (of one is sick at school, I leave work, but I work at a school, so they understand! I drive them to activities after school, am responsible for weekday dinners, make and take to medical, dental and now orthadonta appointments, etc.). Still have a housekeeper every 2 weeks (will never give that up).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP again. What about housecleaners? We had them when the kids were really little, then once my youngest went 1/2 days all 5 days, we started cleaning the house ourselves - mostly me but DH helps a lot in the bathrooms. I’m wondering if we should go back to house cleaners if I end up getting a job next year - even just every 3 or 4 weeks?

Sorry to sound so neurotic - I’m worried about balance. I have a lot of free time now, but don’t want to over correct the other way.

Don't do this if you still feel like the kids and the house are pretty much all your responsibility. While you'll have the holidays, you won't have any child-free time anymore.

Even if it's a low-stress job, it's still a job, and they expect you to come every day and give it your all. When you say a "net positive" for the whole family, what I hear is that you need more socialization, some "pin" money, and a mood boost, but no one else in the household should have to be impacted at all. That's unrealistic -- your mood boost will disappear while you're cleaning the house after bedtime.

So, at the very least, plan to hire the cleaners and do more take out if you take this job. I suggest you wait another year, though, and maybe go for more responsibility at your volunteer position, or spend more time volunteering at the school.

[Anonymous]

I don’t think working at your kid’s school as an aide is going to provide much socialization. Nor will it be particularly fulfilling. You will probably be stressed and aggravated a lot of the time - and still want for some socialization.
Honestly I would find something else to do with your time.

[Anonymous]

You can try it and if you don't like it you can quit. It really doesn't seem that risky to give it a shot and see if you like it.

[Anonymous]

You will be competing with other moms in your same position.

[Anonymous]

I've met several paraeducators and secretaries in MCPS who are in your shoes. They have a lot to contribute to their schools and enjoy being on their kids' schedules. I've also heard of women volunteering at the Women's Center of Montgomery County. Think about what you're passionate about!